Going to a sorority with a boyfriend...

[WVU alpha phi]

Originally Posted by sisterzip

I would not worry about it to mutch. One of our new members is married. However it sounds like there trust isues in your relationship already. I agree that It sounds like you are looking for problems. Even if you are joining a sorority that keeps thier practices 'secret' you would no be keeping anything that serious from him

Married? Is she 18 or 19?
We had a girl come through rush this year that told us she had moved here with her 2 children and her boyfriend.. I don't think any sorority kept her after the second day. Married is a little different, but still.. is this common?

[epchick]

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

Married? Is she 18 or 19?
We had a girl come through rush this year that told us she had moved here with her 2 children and her boyfriend.. I don't think any sorority kept her after the second day. Married is a little different, but still.. is this common?

I knew a girl that went through rush with me last year who was fresh outta high school, and was married. (I think she had been married for a while too). She wasn't even from my city, she had moved here w/ her husband. I don't know if they are still together though, from what I heard she moved to a different university....and nothing was ever mentioned again about a husband

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by epchick

I knew a girl that went through rush with me last year who was fresh outta high school, and was married. (I think she had been married for a while too). She wasn't even from my city, she had moved here w/ her husband. I don't know if they are still together though, from what I heard she moved to a different university....and nothing was ever mentioned again about a husband

She probably dropped him like a bad habit. LOL

[PinkandGreenJ]

You can make it through. I am not saying it is easy. As cliche as it sounds, if you are meant to be, you will make it through. There were very hard times between me and my husband when I joined a sorority, partially because his parents were the stereotypical anti-greek new england intellectual types and pushed this on him. When he saw that his sports team at college was just like a fraternity, it got easier.

Now, 7 years out of college....we are happily married, even after going to grad school in different timezones....

It can be done. Whether you both want to is up to you.

[PrettyBoy]

If you dump him, that's great if he's treating you like garbage or something like that, but if he's treating you like a gentleman should treat a lady, then you'll be making a big mistake, especially if he's going places in life. Who are you going to do dump him for some frat boy? If you drop this guy and he's treating you good, you'll want him back and if I were him I wouldn't take you back. I've see this happen over and over again in the greek system. Don't mind me though, do what you gotta do.

[REE1993]

It would be easy to say that being in a sorority should not affect your dating/personal life, but in all reality, it can. Depending on your school's culture, there are some issues you may run into.

Some schools' GLOs have an a more inherent influence on individual members' personal relationship statuses. For example, a sorority may be "informatlly" tied to a fraternity, and mixers and other events are pretty much exclusively held with that fraternity. Many older sisters might only date from a certain fraternity (as opposed to other GLOs or non-greeks). There may be a lot of pressure to date only within certain perameters, especially if you live in a House. One major issue is that most Houses have a no-boys-over rule/curfew. Another issue is sleeping at the boy's room/house and doing the "walk of shame". Some chapters have strong (unwritten) understandings about what is and is not appropriate.

At my first school, there were no houses, but I can tell you that there was a lot of "influence" on pledges and younger sisters to date (or rather, not date) members of certain fraternities on non-greeks. Of course, NO ONE should let anyone influence their personal choices, but there is a lot of pressure, and at 18, 19, it is hard to do "what you want" when there is a group mentality/understanding.

At my second school, where I became a Gamma Sig, the greek population was very very small, and having a boyfriend, greek or not, was not much of an issue. I held several offices, and was an editor of the school paper and in several clubs, so I had to become a master of time management.

The bottom line is that Sisterhood does require a time commitment, regardless of existence or residence in a House (the building). Some people are better at balancing academics/ sisterhood/ activities/ relationships. You are the only one who can decide what your priorities are.

As a 30-something, my "wisdom and experience" (I am air-quoting here) would suggest to you to keep your mind open to new experiences (it doesn't have to mean breaking up). Any serious relationship in your late teens/early 20s is confusing enough. Many couples grow apart, while a small percentage stay together and become part of the "I married my high school sweetheart" club.

Figure out what is most important to you, and be honest with your boyfriend. Titles don't mean anything; being honest with your priorities does. If he is cool with you spending x amount of time with your sisters (for official/mandatory business, and socially), then I think it's a moot point.

You are at an amazing time in your life. Learn, grow, live. Whatever you decide, do it for yourself. You have the rest of your life to give to others.

[texas*princess]

It sounds to me like already has her mind made up and she's wanting someone to say "Yea! Dump him!" so she can feel better about it