GreekChat.com Forums  

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > General Chat Topics > Dating & Relationships

» GC Stats
Members: 329,773
Threads: 115,673
Posts: 2,205,418
Welcome to our newest member, mammon
» Online Users: 4,018
1 members and 4,017 guests
No Members online
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-10-2012, 12:04 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,730
Quote:
Originally Posted by agzg View Post
I agree.
I'm not really a baby shower, wedding, (insert other formality) person. If these events must occur, and I am a mere attendee, they need to occur with as little of my time and effort as possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WCsweet<3 View Post
My boyfriend and I had a very similar situation. The groom loved scotch. We got him a very nice bottle of it and ignored the fact that the bride does not like alcohol.
If the purpose was to make him happy, COOL but you know that could spark a couple's argument.

If the purpose was to piss her off, UNCOOL and you all put forth more mental effort than necessary.

At the end of the day, the couple is responsible for their quirks and arguments. But, I firmly believe that all outsiders (including family members) need to remain outsiders. Sometimes that means not attending an event or playing the backseat if necessary. Choose whatever you (in general) choose and be done with it.

Last edited by DrPhil; 08-10-2012 at 12:07 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-10-2012, 12:06 PM
WCsweet<3 WCsweet<3 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Orygun
Posts: 2,714
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
I'm not really a baby shower, wedding, (insert other formality) person. If these events must occur, they need to occur with as little of my time and effort as possible. That is one reason why my friends love


If the purpose was to make him happy, COOL but you know that could spark a couple's argument.

If the purpose was to piss her off, UNCOOL and you all put forth more mental effort than necessary.

At the end of the day, the couple is responsible for their quirks and arguments. But, I firmly believe that all outsiders (including family members) need to remain outsiders. Sometimes that means not attending an event or playing the backseat if necessary. Choose whatever you (in general) choose and be done with it.
No it wouldn't spark an argument. She doesn't like the taste of alcohol and is fine with the groom drinking.
__________________
KΔ ♥ AOT

"Sisterhood is not about being popular, its about developing character, forming bonds, and self-discovery. If after four years you can hold you head high, then absolutely your sorority is "tops"." - H2oot
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-10-2012, 12:10 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,730
Quote:
Originally Posted by WCsweet<3 View Post
No it wouldn't spark an argument. She doesn't like the taste of alcohol and is fine with the groom drinking.
Cool.

"...and ignored the fact that the bride does not like alcohol" can mean many things.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-10-2012, 11:57 AM
WCsweet<3 WCsweet<3 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Orygun
Posts: 2,714
My boyfriend and I had a very similar situation. The groom loved scotch. We got him a very nice bottle of it and ignored the fact that the bride does not like alcohol.
__________________
KΔ ♥ AOT

"Sisterhood is not about being popular, its about developing character, forming bonds, and self-discovery. If after four years you can hold you head high, then absolutely your sorority is "tops"." - H2oot
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-10-2012, 03:29 PM
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Santa Monica/Beverly Hills
Posts: 8,634
I agree with Dr.Phil. Go, eat their food, drink their wine, enjoy their music and don't spend any time worrying about any slights. You're already married, so you don't have to worry about whether or not you'd have to invite them to your wedding.
__________________

AOII

One Motto, One Badge, One Bond and Singleness of Heart!




Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-10-2012, 03:37 PM
honeychile's Avatar
honeychile honeychile is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Counting my blessings!
Posts: 31,422
FWIW, we know of TWENTY people who never received their wedding invitations to our wedding! There could be more, but those people could have been insulted and didn't say anything. We were both mortified.

One was a groomsman, who finally did receive his invitation - a month after the wedding! So, YES, the post office is quite capable of messing up invitations!
__________________
~ *~"ADPi"~*~
Proud to be a Macon Magnolia
"He who is not busy being born is busy dying." Bob Dylan
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-10-2012, 05:17 PM
tld221 tld221 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: only the best city in the world
Posts: 6,261
Ps I thought this was a rush/recruitment thread based on the title. Just me?
__________________
Do you know people? Have you interacted with them? Because this is pretty standard no-brainer stuff. -33girl
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-10-2012, 05:19 PM
MaryPoppins MaryPoppins is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Yoknapatawpha
Posts: 1,781
Quote:
Originally Posted by tld221 View Post
Ps I thought this was a rush/recruitment thread based on the title. Just me?
Nope me too.
__________________
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, Kappa Alpha Theta exists to nurture each member throughout her college and alumna experience and to
offer a lifelong opportunity for social, intellectual, and moral growth as she meets the higher and broader demands of a mature life.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-10-2012, 06:08 PM
ellebud ellebud is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: so cal
Posts: 910
Give the wedding present at the engagement party. One and done!

Unless the couple has a charity listed a donation "in their name" comes off as snarky.

One of my dearest friends (an AEPhi alum as am I) is giving a wedding next spring. She is under very tight space constraints. I already know that the majority of the guest list is comprised of friends of the bride and groom from out of town. All the young people say that they are coming. Probably not. I am on the B List. I don't care. If a space opens H and I will, if we are free that night, go to the wedding. I'm not hurt. (But I do give great gifts.)
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-10-2012, 06:16 PM
PeppyGPhiB PeppyGPhiB is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 3,413
I think it's odd your husband was invited to the Bachelor Party but not the wedding...initially. No one should be invited to the pre-wedding events without also being invited to the wedding.

The MOG has no tact...she should't be discussing the wedding with/around anyone who might not be invited. If I was in your shoes, I would have declined the invitation, saying I had already made other plans for the day.

Also, an engagement party is supposed to be held very shortly after the bride and groom become engaged, for people to celebrate the good news. It makes no sense when it's so close to the wedding.
__________________
Gamma Phi Beta
Love. Labor. Learning. Loyalty.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-10-2012, 08:12 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Crescent City
Posts: 10,051
You've all given me some great advice...

We are planning to attend the engagement party and the wedding, enjoy the food and drink, and give a rather smaller gift than we otherwise would. It's not being B-listed that's bothering me as much as the fact that the MOG was so OBVIOUS about it... going on and on about how wonderful the wedding was going to be and then saying "maybe" we'd be invited. IMO, she should have kept mum until she either (a) knew they'd be able to invite us, at which point she could have told us about the venue and warned us it would be black tie (as DH has to make arrangements now to rent a tux), or (b) knew they wouldn't be able to invite us, in which case she could have said something like, "Unfortunately, the venue was very small and the bride has a huge immediate family."
__________________
AEΦ ... Multa Corda, Una Causa ... Celebrating Over 100 Years of Sisterhood
Have no place I can be since I found Serenity, but you can't take the sky from me...
Only those who risk going too far, find out how far they can go.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-10-2012, 10:03 PM
ellebud ellebud is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: so cal
Posts: 910
Quote:
Originally Posted by aephi alum View Post
You've all given me some great advice...

We are planning to attend the engagement party and the wedding, enjoy the food and drink, and give a rather smaller gift than we otherwise would. It's not being B-listed that's bothering me as much as the fact that the MOG was so OBVIOUS about it... going on and on about how wonderful the wedding was going to be and then saying "maybe" we'd be invited. IMO, she should have kept mum until she either (a) knew they'd be able to invite us, at which point she could have told us about the venue and warned us it would be black tie (as DH has to make arrangements now to rent a tux), or (b) knew they wouldn't be able to invite us, in which case she could have said something like, "Unfortunately, the venue was very small and the bride has a huge immediate family."
OK..MOG...classless. You are totally correct. You however are one classy broad. And your husband does NOT have to rent a tuxedo. First, look for super sales if it is in your time frame. (My son bought his $1500 tuxedo for $345 at a final call sale at Bloomingdales.) And here, a part of town with a fair number of black tie events, many men dark a nice dark suit with a really nice tie, shirt and pocket square.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-10-2012, 09:57 PM
Xidelt Xidelt is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,993
I don't think your husband has to go to the bother and expense of renting a tux. Just wear a dark suit and call it a day. The MOG's rude manners don't warrrant the effort and money of a rental.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-10-2012, 10:19 PM
ellebud ellebud is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: so cal
Posts: 910
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xidelt View Post
I don't think your husband has to go to the bother and expense of renting a tux. Just wear a dark suit and call it a day. The MOG's rude manners don't warrrant the effort and money of a rental.
We must have posted at the same time...outstanding advice.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-10-2012, 10:27 PM
Xidelt Xidelt is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,993
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellebud View Post
We must have posted at the same time...outstanding advice.
Jinx!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Received a bid, but my gpa is too low. lopaz Fraternity Recruitment 7 01-16-2010 12:01 AM
is it necessary to ask if my rec was received? jessXIca Recruitment 11 06-26-2006 09:10 PM
What's the best gift you've ever received? Curiousgirl Chit Chat 4 11-06-2001 12:06 PM
Blatant Indiscretion!! MsAnn Alpha Kappa Alpha 16 05-09-2001 01:42 AM
BLATANT RACISM ON ANOTHER FORUM Amazed Greek Life 13 07-20-2000 10:50 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.