Received a blatant B-list invitation BY PHONE BY PROXY, what to do?

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I would go with the tux, not out of any sense of obligation to the MOG but for my own comfort at the wedding.

But like ellebud said, I'd buy one. Very good tuxes can be got very cheaply -- often for the price of just a few rentals -- and then you have one.

Also, rented tuxes just look...rented. Most of my close male friends just ended up buying their tails (there are a few white tie events our group attends each year). They said that it was just more convenient, cheaper in the long run, and I just happen to think they look way better.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Uh, that's the point. I'm sorry, I don't believe in B-list guests. Someone is either important to you, and you find a way to put them on your list, or they aren't. You don't get to have it both ways. This case is especially egregious because hubby was invited to the bachelor party.

Uh, so the point is to react to rudeness with more rudeness? No, thanks.

It's also highly unlikely that the person who coordinated the wedding invitations was the same person who's planning the bachelor party. No--you're not supposed to invite anyone to a pre-wedding event who's not going to be invited. It sounds like the pre-wedding planning was a logistical nightmare and who was planning the party never got the memo that Mr. aephi alum wasn't invited to the wedding.

B-lists guests aren't like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. While you may not want to do one, for some people, it's a necessity--especially people with large families, small venues, or a ton of invite obligations. The bride, groom, and their parents are supposed to be discreet about who they're inviting; MOG seems to be the one who was really lacking tact.

I'd either go to the wedding with a real gift, or not go at all.

In seeing friends get married, I didn't realize how much social competition goes into it from a guest end. I've seen some people act like they've Won at Life when they've been invited to a wedding and you haven't. I had some former friends who treated me like shit when I wasn't invited to a wedding--that I couldn't attend because I had another wedding, LOL. Is it really that deep? Apparently for some of y'all it is.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Uh, so the point is to react to rudeness with more rudeness?

How is it rude to donate to a charity that the bride and groom like? Rude would be donating to a cause they hate, distinctly different. If you are really inviting someone for the pleasure of their company (which you should be), you should not care if they bring a gift at all.

If the OP wants to go and have a good time and bring a lovely gift, then she should do that, but clearly she was offended, or wouldn't have posted about it in the first place. I am just saying that nobody is required to deal with offensive behavior just because they have been invited to a wedding.