What defines a helicopter parent?

[Srmom1]

Posting under a different name at home...

I think the line is crossed like EE-BO said when the parent isn't just watching from the sidelines anymore. They're front and center - giving up the play by play of their stellar daughter/son's rush

So, in other words - Get off the forum? You're not welcome, we don't want you here? You're a moderator - ban us!

Sometimes the parents are here because they are nervous and want a place to vent, then WE encourge them to share (and then some relish attacking them for it). I admit that last year there were some unattractive parents who, for whatever reason, be it anger, spite, revenge, what have you, posted nasty things after their kids were cut or didn't have a good rush (in their opinion). But, do you really want all the parents (even when we are active Greek women or men alumni) to just go away?

I think if those young men & women really wanted their story posted on the internet, they should be perfectly capable to post it themselves. They should also be perfectly capable to ask the questions they have ON THEIR OWN.

My son wouldn't come on this site if his life depended upon it But, he didn't mind when I posted (post recruitment) his story, and neither did the people who enjoyed reading it and encouraged me to post - and perhaps, in some way, the story of his recruitment can help others who might be thinking of rushing a fraternity which is COMPLETELY different than rushing a sorority.

I came on the site when my son was a senior (hence Srmom) to get information because it had been MANY moons since both my husband and I were involved in the Greek system. My son had expressed an interest, was being "rushed", although he didn't realize it at the time because we did NOT make it a deal in our house, he just thought nice guys were inviting him to go to stuff. By getting information on this site (and from EE-BO for one) it helped with the process. I understood what was going on and felt better about what he was going through and where he ended up (special circumstances in that he pledged a fraternity that is not recognized by IFC - EE BO, in particular, shed light on that situation).

So, this is a great website - full of information, full of fun interaction, full of controvery and spirited debate - why do you have a problem with moms/dads who come here to be a part of it????

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by Srmom1

Posting under a different name at home...

Just so you know, it is possible to log into the same account from a different location

So, in other words - Get off the forum? You're not welcome, we don't want you here? You're a moderator - ban us!

That's not what I said. There are plenty of posters here who I know have kids, and yet they don't just talk about hovering.

And another FYI, unfortunately, mods can't just ban whoever they want. If that were the case, we'd have very few posters here

Sometimes the parents are here because they are nervous and want a place to vent, then WE encourge them to share (and then some relish attacking them for it). I admit that last year there were some unattractive parents who, for whatever reason, be it anger, spite, revenge, what have you, posted nasty things after their kids were cut or didn't have a good rush (in their opinion). But, do you really want all the parents (even when we are active Greek women or men alumni) to just go away?

If you want a place to vent, that's what PARENTING boards are for. Like I said before, I know plenty of posters here who are parents but they don't use GC as their place to talk about controlling and hovering over their kid's lives.

My son wouldn't come on this site if his life depended upon it But, he didn't mind when I posted (post recruitment) his story, and neither did the people who enjoyed reading it and encouraged me to post - and perhaps, in some way, the story of his recruitment can help others who might be thinking of rushing a fraternity which is COMPLETELY different than rushing a sorority.

I came on the site when my son was a senior (hence Srmom) to get information because it had been MANY moons since both my husband and I were involved in the Greek system. My son had expressed an interest, was being "rushed", although he didn't realize it at the time because we did NOT make it a deal in our house, he just thought nice guys were inviting him to go to stuff. By getting information on this site (and from EE-BO for one) it helped with the process. I understood what was going on and felt better about what he was going through and where he ended up (special circumstances in that he pledged a fraternity that is not recognized by IFC - EE BO, in particular, shed light on that situation).

It's your son's perogative to go to whatever sites he wants to. If he decided he wanted more info about fraternities, he has 2 arms, and 2 working hands (at least I hope so, otherwise this is a moot point). He is physically capable of doing research himself whether it be here or somewhere else.

There is no reason why he should need your or anyone else to spoon feed him with information. If it's something HE wants HE should be old enough and capable enough to do it himself.

[lawgal]

If it is something the parent is paying for, would that give them an interest in finding out what they are paying for? As an example, if my kid wants a car and needs help paying for it, I want some information about the car before I do it. I do want some information about sororities and sorority life at my daughter's proposed campus. Hopefully that is different from helicoptering.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by lawgal

Hopefully that is different from helicoptering.

Absolutely. But the difference is: if you check out the sorority websites, ask anyone you know personally that has personal connections, and/or ask generic questions on GC - to me, that's being an informed parent. When you call the Greek Life office, visit the chapters yourself, and make demands (ahem, strongly worded questions) on GC that anyone who knows anything about the spesific chapters to give you all their info, as well as help you secure recs, etc. that's crossed the line.

I guess what I'm trying to say that the line (TO ME) is when you start doing things that are FOR your children that they can do themselves. Gathering your own (GENERIC) info for the purposes of having a basic knowledge of what you're paying for doesn't cross the line for me.