Preparing for recruitment since birth

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Practically every year, especially since RFM came to be, I hear Greek Life say they received phone calls from angry/distraught moms whose daughter's life is ruined because ABC dropped them and something must be done to fix this! I've gotten similar calls from alumnae myself.


As a Midwestern transplant, I've had to learn this and it's not been easy. After so many years I understand and have come to accept it mentally, but emotionally it's hard. It is just so different from how I grew up and my personal experiences.

Perhaps those who are not from the South can grasp it like this. IMO it is similar to some of the Ivy League grads' mindset. Your family is filled with grads from Ivy U so you expect your child to go to Ivy U. You associate with, business network with, socialize with other Ivy U grads. You are able to join certain clubs/orgs due to your connections. Doors are opened all because of where you graduated from, not who you are as a person. You know the exact social status and business/economic rankings all other Ivy League schools and their grads.

You send your kid to the right pre-school, grade school, jr high, HS, camp, etc. You make sure they are involved in the right extra curricular activities. Maybe even hire tutors to get their GPA, SAT/ACT up to snuff. You do everything with the intention of building their resume/application in order to be accepted to Ivy U. (Of course assuming you don't have a gazillion dollars to donate to the school. )

If your kid doesn't get in or simply doesn't want to go there? Well their life will be ruined, won't it? They won't get the right job, live in the right area, belong to the right clubs/orgs, marry the right person, ...

And I think it is important to realize that this is a very SMALL group in the South. This represents the social elite, while the rest of us in the South go about happily accepting our place in whatever group we feel comfortable joining, marrying the man we want regardless of what family he may be from and being happy and successful on our own merit instead of on our husband's merit. In a lot of ways, this is trumped up and does not reflect the thought process of most of the South. Like Zillini pointed out, there are social elite in the North, too. We watch them on TV in shows on MTV, but it doesn't define the entire North.