Preparing for recruitment since birth

[tld221]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

From an NPHC perspective, prepping since birth happens and I think it is quite unfortunate.

It includes, but is not limited to, the lame "future XYZ" shirts that people are given at babyshowers. The "my mommy/daddy is an XYZ" shirts are only tolerable if they are on a child who is the opposite sex of the organization's membership. Telling kids "when you become an XYZ" is equally annoying.

I think it is fine to socialize kids around college educated and professional people who are also in GLOs. What's lame is surrounding your child by a particular GLO with hopes of shaping your child's decision making process. Give your child the information and let them know they have tons of sources of information and potential letters of rec should they decide to go that route. Don't bamboozle them into thinking that's THE route for them. Let them know they have support in whatever they decide.

I don't entertain future anything from children. I only entertain aspirant conversations--meaning, people who are collegiates or alum and qualify for membership. If you are under the age of 18, I don't care what you want to be. If you want to be in a sorority other than mine, don't expect me to try to speak negatively about that other sorority and persuade you to join mine when you FINALLY go to college. I had a child in the family try that with me over the holiday. LOL.

and it continues with decorating the child's room in organization colors/mascots, allowing the child to use the handsign in pics or doing the call in public, attending EVERY stepshow/conference/chapter meeting, threatening to not pay tuition if said child pledges something other than your org (or "brother/sister" org), joining the youth affiliate group and treating it like a little brother/sister club...

the list goes on.

i mean seriously. let the children have a mind (and affiliation) of their own. creating a legacy is awesome, but shouldnt be the rule.

[kateee]

Originally Posted by tld221

and it continues with decorating the child's room in organization colors/mascots, allowing the child to use the handsign in pics or doing the call in public, attending EVERY stepshow/conference/chapter meeting, threatening to not pay tuition if said child pledges something other than your org (or "brother/sister" org), joining the youth affiliate group and treating it like a little brother/sister club...

the list goes on.

i mean seriously. let the children have a mind (and affiliation) of their own. creating a legacy is awesome, but shouldnt be the rule.

I read these threads from start to finish haha. Sorry to bring up something so old.

I am at a college in the North East. I don't see much of this. A majority of the girls in GLO's on my campus never really gave much thought to going greek before entering college. Reading this is weird to me, and this was over the top. Wow. I would probably have never made it through recruitment in the south.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by kateee

I read these threads from start to finish haha. Sorry to bring up something so old.

I am at a college in the North East. I don't see much of this. A majority of the girls in GLO's on my campus never really gave much thought to going greek before entering college. Reading this is weird to me, and this was over the top. Wow. I would probably have never made it through recruitment in the south.

She's describing BGLO groups, btw. (NPCs don't have brother/sister orgs, traditionally do stepshows, have calls, etc.) You'd have been fine in the South. Being a legacy with a super obsessed mother is a different story.

[naraht]

(Looking at myself on this thread)
My wife and I met through our co-ed service fraternity and I'm still active on National Committees. Our oldest child has been to a number of area conferences and actually has t-shirts from some of the conferences.

On the bright side in this regard, Alpha Phi Omega has *no* official concept of Legacy. While I was an undergraduate, we did have a male brother whose sister pledged while I was there, but the fact that she was his sister wasn't as important as the fact that she had already completed half of the requirements (service hours, attending meeetings etc) before she officially became a student.

[UGAgirl93]

Oh my gosh, this topic crosses my mind all the time. There are so many ways many southern girls are prepped for recruitment from birth (and probably some northerners, too, but I'm from the deep south so I can't speak from experience). It seems to me that it's usually the wealthier families. The parents send their girls to private schools or the best public schools. They learn their manners and slowly pick up that southern charm and winning accent. In middle school they go to cotillion to learn all sorts of etiquette and how to do old-fashioned dances and how to interact with others. In high school, they move on to guild, where they participate in community service and "theme" dances and the ever so fabulous Christmas formal. They learn to drive, they get a car and they get out and socialize, they're encouraged to join clubs and be leaders. They're always well dressed, and even on days when they come to school in Nike shorts, they're makeup is done perfectly. By graduation they have a million friends who have moms who will gladly write them rec letters. They've accumulated tons of gorgeous pictures from prom, guild, senior shoots, etc. that show off their beauty and taste. They receive a very large influx of graduation money to spend on rush jewelry, dresses, and shoes. They've perfected the art of hair and makeup. They know how to walk, and speak. The resources and know-how just sort of build over their lifespan. By the time recruitment arrives it should be a breeze, especially if they go to a school where past HS graduates joined sororities. The ONLY thing I've ever seen hinder one of these types girls is grades, and even that is pretty rare because they're usually held to a high standard grade-wise.

It's pretty interesting to me.

P.S. I hope no one takes this in a negative way. These are girls I admire!

[tcsparky]

Originally Posted by UGAgirl93

The resources and know-how just sort of build over their lifespan.

I think that this is one of the important things to remember about these girls. No one systematically set out to "prep" them for Recruitment. The characteristics sororities look for, the grades, social graces, activities and connections, are not consciously cultivated, that JUST ARE. It builds up gradually in layers during their lives, and joining a sorority is just one event along the way. They join a certain organization because that's just where girls from their (summer camp, high school neighborhood, country club) end up, not because they consciously planned it out, plotted for it and targeted it.

However, others, who want to end up like these girls, will target, prep, plan and scheme to get there, and aren't usually successful, because it's not "natural" for them- it's part of the artifice that they've created.

They may end up at mixers with the "right" boys, but don't marry any of them because they don't click, because they're not comfortable, or don't entirely fit in, with the lifestyle they are wanting to have. It doesn't "feel" right, because-again- it's not natural for them. Those using sororities for social climbing often end up in situations for which they don't have the "soft skills" and background experiences needed to blend in.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by tcsparky

I think that this is one of the important things to remember about these girls. No one systematically set out to "prep" them for Recruitment. The characteristics sororities look for, the grades, social graces, activities and connections, are not consciously cultivated, that JUST ARE. It builds up gradually in layers during their lives, and joining a sorority is just one event along the way. They join a certain organization because that's just where girls from their (summer camp, high school neighborhood, country club) end up, not because they consciously planned it out, plotted for it and targeted it.

However, others, who want to end up like these girls, will target, prep, plan and scheme to get there, and aren't usually successful, because it's not "natural" for them- it's part of the artifice that they've created.

They may end up at mixers with the "right" boys, but don't marry any of them because they don't click, because they're not comfortable, or don't entirely fit in, with the lifestyle they are wanting to have. It doesn't "feel" right, because-again- it's not natural for them. Those using sororities for social climbing often end up in situations for which they don't have the "soft skills" and background experiences needed to blend in.

That sounds awfully like "non-Southern girls shouldn't even bother trying Southern rush." What about the girl who isn't social climbing, who in fact has no intention of being in that area one minute past graduation, but who while she is a student would like to have as many experiences as possible, with a sorority being one of them?

We say over and over every year that girls from all states end up in all chapters in SEC and other southern schools, but this post makes that sound like a big fat lie.