Preparing for recruitment since birth

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by carnation

With release figures being the way they are now, though, it's not a given that the 'right' bid will follow. There are so so many Mary Sues out there plus a lot of other girls whom the sororities are interested in because of their great grades and strong activities and you just can't count on getting a bid from certain groups anymore.

Practically every year, especially since RFM came to be, I hear Greek Life say they received phone calls from angry/distraught moms whose daughter's life is ruined because ABC dropped them and something must be done to fix this! I've gotten similar calls from alumnae myself.

Originally Posted by Titchou

You know, it is just so blamed difficult to explain all this to a non-southerner since we grew up with it. Some things you just "know"...and I don't mean to sound snobby here...it's just reality. Southerners are just more "connected" I think...

As a Midwestern transplant, I've had to learn this and it's not been easy. After so many years I understand and have come to accept it mentally, but emotionally it's hard. It is just so different from how I grew up and my personal experiences.

Perhaps those who are not from the South can grasp it like this. IMO it is similar to some of the Ivy League grads' mindset. Your family is filled with grads from Ivy U so you expect your child to go to Ivy U. You associate with, business network with, socialize with other Ivy U grads. You are able to join certain clubs/orgs due to your connections. Doors are opened all because of where you graduated from, not who you are as a person. You know the exact social status and business/economic rankings all other Ivy League schools and their grads.

You send your kid to the right pre-school, grade school, jr high, HS, camp, etc. You make sure they are involved in the right extra curricular activities. Maybe even hire tutors to get their GPA, SAT/ACT up to snuff. You do everything with the intention of building their resume/application in order to be accepted to Ivy U. (Of course assuming you don't have a gazillion dollars to donate to the school. )

If your kid doesn't get in or simply doesn't want to go there? Well their life will be ruined, won't it? They won't get the right job, live in the right area, belong to the right clubs/orgs, marry the right person, ...

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Practically every year, especially since RFM came to be, I hear Greek Life say they received phone calls from angry/distraught moms whose daughter's life is ruined because ABC dropped them and something must be done to fix this! I've gotten similar calls from alumnae myself.


As a Midwestern transplant, I've had to learn this and it's not been easy. After so many years I understand and have come to accept it mentally, but emotionally it's hard. It is just so different from how I grew up and my personal experiences.

Perhaps those who are not from the South can grasp it like this. IMO it is similar to some of the Ivy League grads' mindset. Your family is filled with grads from Ivy U so you expect your child to go to Ivy U. You associate with, business network with, socialize with other Ivy U grads. You are able to join certain clubs/orgs due to your connections. Doors are opened all because of where you graduated from, not who you are as a person. You know the exact social status and business/economic rankings all other Ivy League schools and their grads.

You send your kid to the right pre-school, grade school, jr high, HS, camp, etc. You make sure they are involved in the right extra curricular activities. Maybe even hire tutors to get their GPA, SAT/ACT up to snuff. You do everything with the intention of building their resume/application in order to be accepted to Ivy U. (Of course assuming you don't have a gazillion dollars to donate to the school. )

If your kid doesn't get in or simply doesn't want to go there? Well their life will be ruined, won't it? They won't get the right job, live in the right area, belong to the right clubs/orgs, marry the right person, ...

And I think it is important to realize that this is a very SMALL group in the South. This represents the social elite, while the rest of us in the South go about happily accepting our place in whatever group we feel comfortable joining, marrying the man we want regardless of what family he may be from and being happy and successful on our own merit instead of on our husband's merit. In a lot of ways, this is trumped up and does not reflect the thought process of most of the South. Like Zillini pointed out, there are social elite in the North, too. We watch them on TV in shows on MTV, but it doesn't define the entire North.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

And I think it is important to realize that this is a very SMALL group in the South. This represents the social elite, while the rest of us in the South go about happily accepting our place in whatever group we feel comfortable joining, marrying the man we want regardless of what family he may be from and being happy and successful on our own merit instead of on our husband's merit. In a lot of ways, this is trumped up and does not reflect the thought process of most of the South.

Agreed. It is a stereotype. With every stereotype there is a basis in fact, yet it is not an accurate reflection of everyone.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

And I think it is important to realize that this is a very SMALL group in the South. This represents the social elite, while the rest of us in the South go about happily accepting our place in whatever group we feel comfortable joining, marrying the man we want regardless of what family he may be from and being happy and successful on our own merit instead of on our husband's merit. In a lot of ways, this is trumped up and does not reflect the thought process of most of the South. Like Zillini pointed out, there are social elite in the North, too. We watch them on TV in shows on MTV, but it doesn't define the entire North.

time out! "social elite" and "MTV" hardly belong in the same sentence!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by tld221

time out! "social elite" and "MTV" hardly belong in the same sentence!

I don't watch the show but doesn't that show about the kids in private school in NYC come on MTV? Maybe not.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I don't watch the show but doesn't that show about the kids in private school in NYC come on MTV? Maybe not.

NYC Prep? That is Bravo.

KDAngel made a thread about that show where an editorial dismissed the eliteness of the kids' families. I'll see if I can find it.

ETA: found it http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=prep

I think it needs to be said that those who announce their elitism so much are the bottom of the barrel of elite. The elite don't need to announce it because they are almost constantly surrounded by it. It's a given. The kids on NYC Prep were more along the lines of rich kids from newer money (with exception for PC who was an embarassment to his family). All of that ties into the discussion of preparing for recruitment since birth.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

NYC Prep? That is Bravo.

KDAngel made a thread about that show where an editorial dismissed the eliteness of the kids' families. I'll see if I can find it.

ETA: found it http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=prep

I think it needs to be said that those who announce their elitism so much are the bottom of the barrel of elite. The elite don't need to announce it because they are almost constantly surrounded by it. It's a given. The kids on NYC Prep were more along the lines of rich kids from newer money (with exception for PC who was an embarassment to his family). All of that ties into the discussion of preparing for recruitment since birth.

random aside:

dont a couple of characters from Gossip Girl try to join sororities when they go to college? it seems so odd to me that folks in "high society" would be interested in greek life, as they have other social networks that are bigger status symbols in their circles.

and this conversation is still intriguing to me. i think this type of thinking trickles down to us "regular folk." for example, I know anytime i read about someone who has done something awesome (from being the "first so-and-so" to do X, to being honored by a foundation or your run of the mill feel-good public interest story) my first question is "Are they Greek? Who are they affiliated with?" It's silly, but it makes sense because that social circle is important to me.

My aunt, a devout Christian (and i use that term loosely), her question is always "I wonder what church they belong to." Because then that tells her who their pastor is, and for her, it further informs her opinion of said awesome person. Someone else in that situation may ask "I wonder if theyre ____________" with respect to race, culture, alumni status, or what have you. We like to categorize and stake claim. Internally we're saying "Oh, theyre one of us. Theyre good people then."

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

NYC Prep? That is Bravo.

KDAngel made a thread about that show where an editorial dismissed the eliteness of the kids' families. I'll see if I can find it.

ETA: found it http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=prep

I think it needs to be said that those who announce their elitism so much are the bottom of the barrel of elite. The elite don't need to announce it because they are almost constantly surrounded by it. It's a given. The kids on NYC Prep were more along the lines of rich kids from newer money (with exception for PC who was an embarassment to his family). All of that ties into the discussion of preparing for recruitment since birth.

Yeah, NYC Prep...that's exactly what I was thinking. I don't watch that show, but whether or not they're truly elite, the majority of people in the North do not live like that even if those people are the bottom barrel of the social elite as "new" money. Bravo...I should remember that they have all the elitist wannabe shows.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I think it needs to be said that those who announce their elitism so much are the bottom of the barrel of elite. The elite don't need to announce it because they are almost constantly surrounded by it. It's a given.

I say bravo to this comment! Even in my "podunk" neck of the woods there is a huge difference here between the "new money" and the "blue bloods" that have been around here forever. Their behaviors are so drastic and obvious it is comical.

[WVU alpha phi]

This thread is fascinating to me.

[catfan]

My freshman year at an SEC school, my roomie pledged and I didn't even rush. I asked her, as she went through all the rush drama, if it was that important to be in a sorority. She replied it wasn't important to be in a sorority, was important to be in the "right" sorority.
Guess what? She was from the Chicago area. I guess it's not limited to the south. And BTW, she pledged what was considered a top house.

[kchaptergphib]

Such a great thread!

Originally Posted by catfan

My freshman year at an SEC school, my roomie pledged and I didn't even rush. I asked her, as she went through all the rush drama, if it was that important to be in a sorority. She replied it wasn't important to be in a sorority, was important to be in the "right" sorority.
Guess what? She was from the Chicago area. I guess it's not limited to the south. And BTW, she pledged what was considered a top house.

And from that, I bet I can narrow down what suburb(s) she's from. That SCREAMS North Shore. Yes, we have a few Good Ol' Family folks in the midwest, too.
But, for whatever reason, my hunch would be that she attended the right high school, and was from the right neighborhood, but wanted to join the "right" sorority because she's a [social] Climber. That thinking that she needed to join the "right" sorority just sounds kind of insecure to me.

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Practically every year, especially since RFM came to be, I hear Greek Life say they received phone calls from angry/distraught moms whose daughter's life is ruined because ABC dropped them and something must be done to fix this! I've gotten similar calls from alumnae myself.

. . .
Perhaps those who are not from the South can grasp it like this. IMO it is similar to some of the Ivy League grads' mindset. Your family is filled with grads from Ivy U so you expect your child to go to Ivy U. You associate with, business network with, socialize with other Ivy U grads. You are able to join certain clubs/orgs due to your connections. Doors are opened all because of where you graduated from, not who you are as a person. You know the exact social status and business/economic rankings all other Ivy League schools and their grads.

You send your kid to the right pre-school, grade school, jr high, HS, camp, etc. You make sure they are involved in the right extra curricular activities. Maybe even hire tutors to get their GPA, SAT/ACT up to snuff. You do everything with the intention of building their resume/application in order to be accepted to Ivy U. (Of course assuming you don't have a gazillion dollars to donate to the school. )

If your kid doesn't get in or simply doesn't want to go there? Well their life will be ruined, won't it? They won't get the right job, live in the right area, belong to the right clubs/orgs, marry the right person, ...

And if they do get in , then what? Social “devastation,” social climbing, selectivity, etc. beyond Greek life at Princeton – the campus paper recently ran a few articles that are – allowing for differences – reminiscent of some of the comments, anxieties, and so on mentioned in this thread.

About the “devastation” of not getting into the desired eating club at Princeton:

http://www.dailyprincetonian.com/2009/12/18/24808/

Excerpt:

[I] . . . Students who are white and are from high-income backgrounds are more likely to bicker successfully, as are members of Greek organizations and athletic teams . . . .[/B]

(“Bicker” is Princeton lingo for the recruitment - like process of seeking to be invited to join one of the more exclusive eating clubs.)

AND:
About sororities – as well as other organizations / activities – serving as “feeders” for eating clubs (that is, opening the door to more "advantages"):

http://www.dailyprincetonian.com/2009/12/16/24769/