Preparing for recruitment since birth

[UGAgirl93]

Oh my gosh, this topic crosses my mind all the time. There are so many ways many southern girls are prepped for recruitment from birth (and probably some northerners, too, but I'm from the deep south so I can't speak from experience). It seems to me that it's usually the wealthier families. The parents send their girls to private schools or the best public schools. They learn their manners and slowly pick up that southern charm and winning accent. In middle school they go to cotillion to learn all sorts of etiquette and how to do old-fashioned dances and how to interact with others. In high school, they move on to guild, where they participate in community service and "theme" dances and the ever so fabulous Christmas formal. They learn to drive, they get a car and they get out and socialize, they're encouraged to join clubs and be leaders. They're always well dressed, and even on days when they come to school in Nike shorts, they're makeup is done perfectly. By graduation they have a million friends who have moms who will gladly write them rec letters. They've accumulated tons of gorgeous pictures from prom, guild, senior shoots, etc. that show off their beauty and taste. They receive a very large influx of graduation money to spend on rush jewelry, dresses, and shoes. They've perfected the art of hair and makeup. They know how to walk, and speak. The resources and know-how just sort of build over their lifespan. By the time recruitment arrives it should be a breeze, especially if they go to a school where past HS graduates joined sororities. The ONLY thing I've ever seen hinder one of these types girls is grades, and even that is pretty rare because they're usually held to a high standard grade-wise.

It's pretty interesting to me.

P.S. I hope no one takes this in a negative way. These are girls I admire!

[tcsparky]

Originally Posted by UGAgirl93

The resources and know-how just sort of build over their lifespan.

I think that this is one of the important things to remember about these girls. No one systematically set out to "prep" them for Recruitment. The characteristics sororities look for, the grades, social graces, activities and connections, are not consciously cultivated, that JUST ARE. It builds up gradually in layers during their lives, and joining a sorority is just one event along the way. They join a certain organization because that's just where girls from their (summer camp, high school neighborhood, country club) end up, not because they consciously planned it out, plotted for it and targeted it.

However, others, who want to end up like these girls, will target, prep, plan and scheme to get there, and aren't usually successful, because it's not "natural" for them- it's part of the artifice that they've created.

They may end up at mixers with the "right" boys, but don't marry any of them because they don't click, because they're not comfortable, or don't entirely fit in, with the lifestyle they are wanting to have. It doesn't "feel" right, because-again- it's not natural for them. Those using sororities for social climbing often end up in situations for which they don't have the "soft skills" and background experiences needed to blend in.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by tcsparky

I think that this is one of the important things to remember about these girls. No one systematically set out to "prep" them for Recruitment. The characteristics sororities look for, the grades, social graces, activities and connections, are not consciously cultivated, that JUST ARE. It builds up gradually in layers during their lives, and joining a sorority is just one event along the way. They join a certain organization because that's just where girls from their (summer camp, high school neighborhood, country club) end up, not because they consciously planned it out, plotted for it and targeted it.

However, others, who want to end up like these girls, will target, prep, plan and scheme to get there, and aren't usually successful, because it's not "natural" for them- it's part of the artifice that they've created.

They may end up at mixers with the "right" boys, but don't marry any of them because they don't click, because they're not comfortable, or don't entirely fit in, with the lifestyle they are wanting to have. It doesn't "feel" right, because-again- it's not natural for them. Those using sororities for social climbing often end up in situations for which they don't have the "soft skills" and background experiences needed to blend in.

That sounds awfully like "non-Southern girls shouldn't even bother trying Southern rush." What about the girl who isn't social climbing, who in fact has no intention of being in that area one minute past graduation, but who while she is a student would like to have as many experiences as possible, with a sorority being one of them?

We say over and over every year that girls from all states end up in all chapters in SEC and other southern schools, but this post makes that sound like a big fat lie.

[jenidallas]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That sounds awfully like "non-Southern girls shouldn't even bother trying Southern rush." What about the girl who isn't social climbing, who in fact has no intention of being in that area one minute past graduation, but who while she is a student would like to have as many experiences as possible, with a sorority being one of them?

That's an entirely different story and those of us in the South know the difference.

The social climbers are painfully obvious and most have known the social climbing moms for years. I hear the term "old" and "new" a lot where I live. "Old money" vs. "new money". Or "old guard" vs. "newcomers". The new folks are obsessed with getting into the right clubs, joining the right committees, being invited to the right parties. The old folks just end up there. (Case in point, the "desirable" committee at a club... the current members propose incoming members and never think to appoint someone not in their circle... but the new money gal will scheme and plot and beg to get on that committee thinking it will make her friends with the old guard.)

In your case, the interested in being involved types don't usually care that they are on the "right" committee or going to the "right" event. They just want to meet people and contribute. Ironically, those ladies often end up in the old circles because they aren't trying... but they don't really care. It drives the new climbers crazy too.