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I know it seems like it would be completely arbitrary, but it really does work. Maybe not perfectly every single time, but it works very well far more often than it doesn't. As others have said, each sorority has its own way of doing things, but those "ways" have worked for years and have been refined as necessary.
Trusting your sisters is large part of sorority membership in many ways and this especially holds true with recruitment. But believe me - it can be just as emotionally difficult on the other side as it is as a PNM. Most sorority women take membership recruitment and the extending of bids very seriously. There are plenty of tears on the other side as well. This includes women who are crushed when someone they love doesn't come back for whatever reason.
Did you go to your pref party? I'm assuming you didn't accept a bid if you did?
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"Let us found a society that shall be kind alike to all and think more of a girl's inner self and character than of her personal appearance." Sarah Ida Shaw
My recruitment story: My sorority membership changed my life.
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