Race issues/questions in children

[SWTXBelle]

Do you remember the studies that showed that black children chose white dolls over black dolls from your intro. psyc course? I think it has to do with the constant assault of the media. The same thing drives so many teen girls (and now, boys!) to eating disorders in a drive to fit what society (really, the media) decides is beautiful. I myself remember feeling simply horrible as a teen because I was small chested, short, and pear-shaped. Why didn't I look like the girls in the magazines?? Well, cause only about 3 percent of the population looks like that.
I think almost every parent has to deal with some form of their children not feeling they fit the standard. It's hard, but the fact that you are aware of the problem means you are well on your way to helping your daughter feel good about herself.
I have two daughters, both of whom are, in my totally unbiased opinion, beautiful. However, daughter #1 is short, brunette, and just had surgery on her lower jaw to correct a "bull dog bite". She has always felt overshadowed in the looks department by daughter #2 who is average height, blonde, blue-eyed, and the more conventionally beautiful. I had to tell my family when she was a child to NOT go on and on about her looks. Now that they are teens, daughter #1 is a TERRIFIC human being - caring, giving, intelligent, and wise beyond her years. Daughter #2, whom I love, is, I must say, more interested in being social. I really think she has been handicapped by her good looks - she can and does coast on them. Her grades aren't as good as #1, but she doesn't care. To tell the truth, she is not as loving and gracious as her sister. I'm not saying this is all because of her looks - but I have noticed that those who can coast on their appearance often do.
My point? Your daughter is so blessed to have a loving mother who is so concerned about her self-image. Let her know that appearance is one of the LEAST important things in terms of making you the person you are. It's largely a result of a spin of the genetic wheel. It's the things we all share in common - our intelligence, our compassion, our hopes and dreams, our love - that will make us truly beautiful. So she doesn't look like Barbie. GOOD. She has her own beauty that she doesn't need to share with anyone else. Bolster the things she can control - all of the aforementioned - and keep supporting her, and she will learn to celebrate the various cultures she is a part of. Good luck!