Is mutual selection really mutual?

[RusheeNumero3]

I am really upset and am wondering why this happened to me...

Our school's greek life is really laid back. No one ever needs recommendations, and last year every girl that rushed got a bid from their first or second choice. My GPA is above a 4.0 and I have tons of community service and a few extracurriculars that I am extremely passionate about and dedicated to. Every night I got invited back to all the chapters I selected.

I put down my 3 choices on pref night. I told my Rho Chi that I really really really wouldn't be comfortable with my 3rd choice and she said there was only a slight chance of getting it and I should put it down anyway. So I did and then I signed the sheet saying that I would accept a bid from any of my top 3 and that if I didn't I couldn't pledge any other Panhellenic chapters for a calender year.

So come bid day, I was fairly confident I would get one of my top 2. I opened my bid and it was my 3rd choice. I talked to my Rho Chi and she said that I should try it out anyway. I was so shocked and broken-hearted I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Later on my friend told me that the longer a sister knows you the more voting power they have. I have known two of the sisters in my 3rd choice for over 5 years. Could their votes have overridden my rankings? Or did my top two choices just not want me?

It would actually be better if my top two just didn't want me because then I wouldn't feel like it was my fault. Did I screw myself over just by going to my 3rd choices pref night?