Re-Initiating

[HeatherH84]

I have a friend in another sorority at another school and she hates it. She wants to join mine and we both know that she cannot since she is already initiated into another. I think its a bad idea but she thinks it will go unnoticed if she rushes or pledges my sorority. Is there really a background check or a list of social security numbers that panahellenic checks? Is there actually anything done to prevent this from happening? I have heard stories of people getting away with it but like I said i think its a bad idea.

[James]

Its against the rules. Its a small world . . . but maybe she could get away with it.

I don't think there is a concerted effort to check a major panhellenic database for all transfers, but if she is trasferring into a school that requires recs and what not she increases her chance of being found out.

Shrug.

[smiley21]

I am assuming that these are NPC sororities.....Why ask the question? You already know it is a bad idea for you friend. There are those few girls that get away with it, but I think the odds are against her. Not to mention once word gets out to the new sorority that she was already a member of the old sorority, things could get really ugly. Why take that chance and always worry that this could be the day that she will be found out.
This is why new member period is so important. She is supposed to figure out if it is a good fit for her before she is initiated.

Doesn't the recruitment application ask if she has previously joined a sorority? Why spend your college days living this lie? That is more trouble then it is worth. Concentrate on graduating.

One more thing, you would also have to lie for her. To me, that would be disloyal to your own sorority.

**I know I took the moral point of view instead of just pointing out the NPC rules. It just irritates me when girls do this.

If she wants to be in a sorority that bad, have her look at local sororities if there are any on campus.


****We should sticky a thread like this at the top of this forum or the recruitment forum, so people can stop asking this question.
ETA: I see that it is pointed out in the Newbie Questions thread, but we still seem to get this question about twice a week.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by smiley21

****We should sticky a thread like this at the top of this forum or the recruitment forum, so people can stop asking this question.

I think we need a really good, concise FAQ thread, that's not 80 pages long. And (yes coming from the queen of snark) it needs to be non-snarky.

Maybe a mod can start and lock it, and add questions as they are thought of.

And I'm talking things like:

Q: I joined an NPC, but now I hate it, can I join another one, and how would anyone know??
A: You may not under any circumstance join another NPC after you've been initiated. No, there isn't a database, but your chances of getting found out are high.

Short and to the point questions and answers.

[HeatherH84]

Originally Posted by smiley21

I am assuming that these are NPC sororities.....Why ask the question? You already know it is a bad idea for you friend. There are those few girls that get away with it, but I think the odds are against her. Not to mention once word gets out to the new sorority that she was already a member of the old sorority, things could get really ugly. Why take that chance and always worry that this could be the day that she will be found out.
This is why new member period is so important. She is supposed to figure out if it is a good fit for her before she is initiated.

Doesn't the recruitment application ask if she has previously joined a sorority? Why spend your college days living this lie? That is more trouble then it is worth. Concentrate on graduating.

One more thing, you would also have to lie for her. To me, that would be disloyal to your own sorority.

**I know I took the moral point of view instead of just pointing out the NPC rules. It just irritates me when girls do this.

If she wants to be in a sorority that bad, have her look at local sororities if there are any on campus.


****We should sticky a thread like this at the top of this forum or the recruitment forum, so people can stop asking this question.
ETA: I see that it is pointed out in the Newbie Questions thread, but we still seem to get this question about twice a week.

she is in Delta Zeta. she said that they lied to her whole pledge class from things like how much dues are, to meetings, to the type of personality they were just so that they could make quota. I guess they were all fake or something. After Initiation she said everyone was different. In fact only 7 people remain from her pledge class so she feels like she was misled and felt like they were sisters thats why she initiated. I feel like she deserves to have genuine sisters thats the only reason why i would lie about it but like I said i think its a bad idea.

[HeatherH84]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I think we need a really good, concise FAQ thread, that's not 80 pages long. And (yes coming from the queen of snark) it needs to be non-snarky.

Maybe a mod can start and lock it, and add questions as they are thought of.

And I'm talking things like:

Q: I joined an NPC, but now I hate it, can I join another one, and how would anyone know??
A: You may not under any circumstance join another NPC after you've been initiated. No, there isn't a database, but your chances of getting found out are high.

Short and to the point questions and answers.

I have looked at a few threads but the problem is that there are a lot of different answers. I thought maybe if it asked again I might get the facts.

[HeatherH84]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I think we need a really good, concise FAQ thread, that's not 80 pages long. And (yes coming from the queen of snark) it needs to be non-snarky.

Maybe a mod can start and lock it, and add questions as they are thought of.

And I'm talking things like:

Q: I joined an NPC, but now I hate it, can I join another one, and how would anyone know??
A: You may not under any circumstance join another NPC after you've been initiated. No, there isn't a database, but your chances of getting found out are high.

Short and to the point questions and answers.

If there isnt a datbase or anything how would her chances of being found out be high?

[PeppyGPhiB]

It probably depends on the school she/you go to, or wherever she's transfering to. Unless she's transfering to a school far away, it's likely there will be people "who know people" at her old school. People talk.

ETA: I just re-read your original post, and noticed that you didn't even mention transferring. Is she planning on staying at her school and re-rushing? Because she would definitely not get away with that.

[LPIDelta]

I know of a situation where, even though the woman transferred long distance, she was found out. There are pictures....people talk.....guilt gets to people....it happens. And in the case I know about, she had to disaffilate from BOTH groups leaving her without membership at all.

If being in a sorority is a big deal to you friend, then she needs to consider a local OR she needs to stick it out. I get it--she was mislead, but she also took an oath and she has the power to make things better if she stays put.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by HeatherH84

If there isnt a datbase or anything how would her chances of being found out be high?

There was a girl at my campus that transferred after initiating and signed up for recruitment at another school. Someone from her old school found out that she was going through recruitment again -- friends of friends and all -- and called the Greek Life office at her new school. They made a few phone calls and sure enough, she was unceremoniously kicked out of recruitment. It looked really, really bad for her. It was not a good situation all around, but she was convinced she could fly under the radar.

I also wouldn't rule out that you could get in trouble if you allowed her to be initiated into your sorority and you knew that she was already affiliated. I actually think you could get in really, really big trouble. Tread carefully.

[Xidelt]

why doesn't your friend transfer and affiliate with a different chapter of Delta Zeta? Chapters can really vary from campus to campus. Just because she isn't happy in her chapter of DZ doesn't mean she wouldn't feel at home someplace else.

[aephi alum]

I wouldn't even try.

She might be able to get away with it. But people know people, and people talk, and information travels fast, especially in this day and age. She would have to keep her current affiliation secret not just during recruitment, but throughout her new member period and her time as an active sister (and if she wants to become an active alum, she'll have to keep the secret for life), because if she is found out, she will be kicked out immediately from both sororities.

She can, of course, pursue other opportunities like service GLOs, professional GLOs, and other clubs and activities, if she's dissatisfied with her sorority. Or, she and her pledge sisters can work from within to make positive changes within her chapter (which is a lot harder than it sounds!).

[smiley21]

I am not sure if this is the same school or not. I find it hard to believe that it is the same school because what makes her think that this other sorority would want her? She acts as if the only thing in her way is the fact that she was already initiated in another sorority. Wouldn't the other girls already know about this girl?

Originally Posted by smiley21

I am not sure if this is the same school or not. I find it hard to believe that it is the same school because what makes her think that this other sorority would want her? She acts as if the only thing in her way is the fact that she was already initiated in another sorority. Wouldn't the other girls already know about this girl?

The OP stated in the first post that her friend is at another school.

HeatherH84 -- there is no black or white answer to your question. The facts have been presented to you, you know the rules, and my advice would be to tell your friend that she shouldn't go through with it. If she tries to join your sorority, let her know that you have an obligation as a member of your organization to maintain its integrity.

The fact that she's being disloyal to her organization (regardless of the circumstances) is a red flag in itself. What makes you think she'll be a loyal asset to your sorority?

Keep in mind that college is only for a few years. The DZ sisterhood lasts a lifetime, and while her current situation is not the most ideal, there are plenty of other sisters out there.

You know it's wrong. And you know what to do. I don't see why you have to question it any further.

[smiley21]

Originally Posted by OTW

The OP stated in the first post that her friend is at another school.

I totally forgot about that part of the post. oops.