Re-Initiating

smiley21 · #1 02-06-2007, 10:05 PM

I am not sure if this is the same school or not. I find it hard to believe that it is the same school because what makes her think that this other sorority would want her? She acts as if the only thing in her way is the fact that she was already initiated in another sorority. Wouldn't the other girls already know about this girl?

#2 02-06-2007, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smiley21

I am not sure if this is the same school or not. I find it hard to believe that it is the same school because what makes her think that this other sorority would want her? She acts as if the only thing in her way is the fact that she was already initiated in another sorority. Wouldn't the other girls already know about this girl?

The OP stated in the first post that her friend is at another school.

HeatherH84 -- there is no black or white answer to your question. The facts have been presented to you, you know the rules, and my advice would be to tell your friend that she shouldn't go through with it. If she tries to join your sorority, let her know that you have an obligation as a member of your organization to maintain its integrity.

The fact that she's being disloyal to her organization (regardless of the circumstances) is a red flag in itself. What makes you think she'll be a loyal asset to your sorority?

Keep in mind that college is only for a few years. The DZ sisterhood lasts a lifetime, and while her current situation is not the most ideal, there are plenty of other sisters out there.

You know it's wrong. And you know what to do. I don't see why you have to question it any further.

smiley21 · #3 02-06-2007, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

The OP stated in the first post that her friend is at another school.

I totally forgot about that part of the post. oops.

BlueNYC2 · #4 02-06-2007, 11:41 PM

i'm not sure how orgs in the other councils work, but in the NPHC, you cannot join an organization after you have become of member of another one that is an honorary, or service org.

and IF she would have been able to join another org, she's what is called a PANCAKE!!!

#5 02-06-2007, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueNYC2

i'm not sure how orgs in the other councils work, but in the NPHC, you cannot join an organization after you have become of member of another one that is an honorary, or service org.

So are you saying that NPHC members cannot hold dual memberships in in the NPHC and service/honorary/professional organizations? I know that once initiated in the NPHC, you cannot join another NPHC. But I know several NPHC members who are in service/honorary/professional fraternities.

It's the same for the NPC. Once initiated in the NPC, you cannot join another NPC sorority. The original poster knows this. What she was wondering is HOW her friend would be found out if she decided to initiate into two.

Senusret I · #6 02-07-2007, 12:11 AM

OTW you know damn well the person you quoted is just plain wrong. lol I don't know why you feel like being nice.

#7 02-07-2007, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

OTW you know damn well the person you quoted is just plain wrong. lol I don't know why you feel like being nice.

Shut up, tard.

[I really really really am nice. Don't let these fools tell you otherwise.]

ladygreek · #8 02-07-2007, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

OTW you know damn well the person you quoted is just plain wrong. lol I don't know why you feel like being nice.

LOL. I should have read ahead.

PhiMuAmberkins · #9 02-07-2007, 12:14 AM

First, you can only be misled if you let people mislead you. There is a wealth of information on the internet about all the NPC organizations, including chapter websites; plus, every campus I know of has a greek advisor, and they should know about things like dues and so on. I don't think there's ever any excuse for being misled...you're just under-informed, and that's your friends own fault.

Second, if she really hates her chapter, maybe it's her. Not to be mean to your friend, but if she hates the ENTIRE chapter, or if they hate her, maybe it's her, not them.

Third, if it is just her chapter, but she still wants to be in a sorority, she pretty much has 2 options that don't include being deceitful. She can join a local or a service sorority or something like that (some people just want the letters...) or she can transfer to another chapter of Delta Zeta. I'm not sure how many chapters there are...but I'm willing to be it's quite a few (ie probably in the hundreds). If I hated my chapter, I have over 100 other Phi Mu chapters that I could conceivably transfer to.

Sorry if this is harsh. I just have no sympathy for people who don't read the fine print, aren't proactive in finding out information, and who let themselves be misled. And people who try to be deceitful are just the kind of people who give greeks a bad name.

AChiOhSnap · #10 02-07-2007, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhiMuAmberkins

Sorry if this is harsh. I just have no sympathy for people who don't read the fine print, aren't proactive in finding out information, and who let themselves be misled. And people who try to be deceitful are just the kind of people who give greeks a bad name.

I second that. And frankly, I don't know why you don't think her scheme is more than just a "bad idea," as you called it. I would be completely pissed if I were you. I don't know why you don't feel like she's horribly disrespecting your organization by thinking she can just juggle around sororities as it suits her.

It's not just a "bad idea" because she might get caught. It's a bad idea because it goes against a major tenent of membership in your sorority, and I hope you'd feel passionately enough about your sorority to not let her blatantly break your rules.

PeppyGPhiB · #11 02-07-2007, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhiMuAmberkins

I'm not sure how many chapters there are...but I'm willing to be it's quite a few (ie probably in the thousands or hundreds of thousands). If I hated my chapter, I have over 100,000 other Phi Mu chapters that I could conceivably transfer to.

What do you mean hundreds of thousands of chapters? 100,000 other chapters to transfer to? I thought maybe I misunderstood you at first, but I think you may be confused?

BlueNYC2 · #12 02-07-2007, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

So are you saying that NPHC members cannot hold dual memberships in in the NPHC and service/honorary/professional organizations? I know that once initiated in the NPHC, you cannot join another NPHC. But I know several NPHC members who are in service/honorary/professional fraternities.

It's the same for the NPC. Once initiated in the NPC, you cannot join another NPC sorority. The original poster knows this. What she was wondering is HOW her friend would be found out if she decided to initiate into two.

my bad, i meant of an org that is NOT a honorary or service/professional org...i was thinking faster than i type.

ladygreek · #13 02-07-2007, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueNYC2

i'm not sure how orgs in the other councils work, but in the NPHC, you cannot join an organization after you have become of member of another one that is an honorary, or service org.

and IF she would have been able to join another org, she's what is called a PANCAKE!!!

That is not true. For my org you cannot become a member if you are or have been a member of a NPC or another NPHC org. We have many members who are also members of honorary or service orgs.

AngelPhiSig · #14 02-07-2007, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueNYC2

i'm not sure how orgs in the other councils work, but in the NPHC, you cannot join an organization after you have become of member of another one that is an honorary, or service org.

I know MANY women who are members of a NPCH sorority and also in organizations like Tau Beta Sigma (honorary) and Gamma Sigma Sigma (service)... so obviously this isnt true - and not just at my school but at other schools, including HBCUs.

adpiucf · #15 02-07-2007, 01:05 PM

Transferring to a new school because you don't like your sorority is not necessarily the best course of action. I know that sometimes as college students we lose sight of the big picture, but the fact remains that we go to college to get an education so that we can go on to be working professionals.

Your friend cannot join another NPC. She has the option to stick it out with DZ or drop out of DZ. Should she transfer to another university where there is a DZ chapter, there is no guarantee that the chapter will approve her petition to affiliate.

Should she be dishonest and rush at another school under the pretense that she was never initiated into an NPC, she will be living a lie. At some point, by her own slip up or guilt, or if someone else knows the truth, her life will become a living hell and she will completely destroy the chapter she joined because of her lies.

Also, she needs to carefully consider the repercussions of transferring. Whether mom and dad are footing the bill for college, or she's working her way through, on student aid, etc., not all of her credits are guaranteed to transfer. She may spend a lot of time and a lot more money to complete college because she transferred.

She needs to think through what her priorities are. If she isn't enjoying the sorority, she needs to talk to her big sister, or a chapter adviser. She can involved as a sorority leader and help effect change to make this the chapter she believed she was joining. Or she can drop out of the sorority. There are many meaningful activities on a college campus that she can investigate.

At the end of the day, she needs to make the decision to stay in DZ or drop DZ. But she must consider all her options carefully and keep sight of the big picture: college graduation within a reasonable amount of time and some professional goals to strive toward. We don't go to college just to join sororities and then bounce around to various universities trying to find a sorority we're happiest with. Every sorority has internal issues. This one sounds like it may have more than most, but not every sorority woman loves her chapter all of the time, and it is up to her to make it work or quit. This decision is never an easy one.

A sorority is a fulfilling social activity where you can make wonderful friends and memories, and you have a reasonable amount of time to determine during your 4-8 week new member period if this is a place you feel comfortable before initiation. She made the decision to be initiated, even with only 7 others staying in her pledge class and knowing there were problems. She needs to be a mature adult and think about ethical and financially feasible options that will get her to where she needs to be. But at the end of the day, someone who transfers to a different university for a sorority opportunity... well, that's just not a very mature decision.