Nerves...

[sewlovely]

I want to apologize in advance if this has been done before. I attempted a search, but I came up with nada!

I will be a freshman this fall at a mediumish sized college in the Midwest. I don't think rush is extremely competitive at my school, although it isn't a walk in the park either (to the best of my knowledge).

I am attending a school far away from my home state. My friends have always meant the world to me (as corny as that sounds) and I am secretly pretty terrified to be leaving them. Despite my fears I am very excited for college to begin.

Greek Life is fairly prominent on campus and I think somewhere between 30-60% of freshman (depending on the year) go through recruitment. I am obviously no expert on greek life, but from what I know it sounds like something I’d really love. I absolutely love the idea of philanthropies, sisterhood, and events. I have a pretty good GPA and was very involved in high school. I am a huge people person. The only thing I still need to do before this fall is find recommendations and I am working quite hard on that. Haven’t had any success yet though How rush goes of course is completely up in the air. So I can only cross my fingers on that!

Now this is where I need some advice. I am having a hard time being the only one of my friends going out of state, no matter how much I want to deny it. Everyone keeps telling me if it doesn’t work out I can always transfer back. Which is true, but I so badly want it to work out. I am worried that if for some reason rush doesn’t work out. I’d transfer back at semester. I know that sounds crazy and dramatic, but I honestly think it may totally derail me. I am fairly self conscience (although it doesn’t show) and I would literally spend every day feeing embarrassed about how maybe I answered a question funny or some awkward pause. I know I need to work on that, but it’s just kind of me. On the bright side I never make the same mistake twice! Every time I looked at one of the girl’s I met I’d be so mortified. For me it’s not so much about being in a sorority, but about what I did to get rejected. If that makes any sense?
Now I am probably really overreacting, because from what I’ve heard the odds are really in my favor. The what if’s are really driving me crazy though!

So I’ve kinda thought about my options. I could not rush and get involved in other activities. I could rush and if my odds aren’t looking too hot drop out. I could go through it, give it 100%, and hope I can suck it up if it doesn’t end up working out.
I just feel so silly for getting all worked up about this. I’m just so nervous about school already! Any advice would be so much appreciated and I cannot thank you enough for reading this!