Originally Posted by FSUZeta (Post 2065890)

why are you going to school so far away from home? do you really want to go to that school? it kind of sounds like you would rather go in state.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2065927)

That's not how I read it. She wants to do it, she's just scared to death. Understandable, especially if she was a big fish in a little pond and all her friends are going to LocalCollegeThat'sKindaLikeGrade13.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2065927)

sewlovely - even if there are people at your college who went to high school together, EVERYONE is coming in with a fresh slate. It doesn't matter if you were the queen of the high school or on the bottom, who your parents or siblings were. If you have made friends before on your own merits, you can do so again. There was a study once showing that the people who went to college but stayed "connected" too much to their HS and hometown - i.e. had HS pictures all over their dorm rooms, went home all the time, stayed in contact w/ HS friends constantly -were the ones who flunked out. You just need to jump in with both feet.

Originally Posted by Jen (Post 2065850)

The sorority members are going to be meeting SO MANY people during recruitment. They won't remember an awkward pause or a funny answer to a question when every PNM will be nervous. They'll probably have a bunch of awkward conversations during each round. If you have a not-so-great conversation, that's going to happen to a LOT of other people during the process, not just you.

Sorority members are just as nervous, if not more, than the PNMs. They practice for weeks and weeks to try and make the process as smooth and painless as possible for the women like you who want to join. They're just as invested in making a good impression and feel just as dumb if they have an awkward conversation or think they made a bad impression.

Not everyone will join. Some girls will drop out because it's not their thing, some will drop out because they weren't happy with the groups that invited them back, some will be cut because they didn't keep an open mind about all the groups and it showed. The biggest thing is to go in with a positive attitude and keep an open mind about every group that invites you back. You may not think you mesh with a group one day and then love them the next.

The thing is, you'll never be able to join a sorority if you don't go through recruitment. I feel like it's better to go through and see what happens than be thinking five years later "Man, I wish I'd gone for it and tried." The what ifs of having never done it are often way worse than the what ifs of something you're scared to do.

I speak from experience - living with social anxiety has kept me from trying a lot of things, and I really regret not trying things more than I regret the times I did try and things didn't work out.

Originally Posted by sewlovely (Post 2066009)

There is only one sorority I'm planning on dropping first and that's only because they are pretty new (within the last 5-10 years). My mom won't help me pay for a not established sorority. She thinks alumni relations are very important. Is she right or completely wrong?

Originally Posted by sewlovely (Post 2066009)

I am absoluetly planning on going in with an open mind. I want to end up where I fit best. I've heard a few things about specific sororities, but I'm not letting it factor into my decision at all. There is only one sorority I'm planning on dropping first and that's only because they are pretty new (within the last 5-10 years). My mom won't help me pay for a not established sorority. She thinks alumni relations are very important. Is she right or completely wrong?

Thanks so much for your response :D

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon (Post 2066013)

And I'll be honest - the fact that I was in A sorority has opened as many doors as being in a specific sorority.

I'd be curious to hear others' take on this.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2066022)

I also would not assume that a new chapter has less support than an older, more established chapter. New chapters have a way of energizing alumnae in an area and can have extensive alumnae support. Older chapters sometimes have difficulties maintaining adequate support from their alumnae. Automatically discounting a younger chapter for this reason is misguided. Instead, I would ask all the chapters how much alumnae support they have. You might be surprised by the answers you get.

Originally Posted by irishpipes (Post 2066012)

If you are talking about NPC sororities, she is wrong. With NPC sororities, the alumnae base includes women from all chapters, not just those from your school. The NPCs are all about 100 years old, give or take, so the age of the local collegiate chapter is relatively unimportant.

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon (Post 2066013)

1. Careful with your wording - it's a mutual selection process - you rank, they make cuts.

2. If it's a local sorority that's brand new on campus, it's a little different than an NPC sorority that's been around since the late 1800s-early 1900s. Even though your chapter is new, there are alums from other chapters the world over who have been established for a long time.

And I'll be honest - the fact that I was in a sorority has opened as many doors as being in a specific sorority.

I'd be curious to hear others' take on this.

Originally Posted by IrishLake (Post 2066017)

Bolded for emphasis, and I concur.

FWIW I joined Theta when they were only 5 years old at my college. Never regretted it once. I'm now an advisor to this well established and very successful chapter.