Nerves...

[sewlovely]

Originally Posted by Jen

The sorority members are going to be meeting SO MANY people during recruitment. They won't remember an awkward pause or a funny answer to a question when every PNM will be nervous. They'll probably have a bunch of awkward conversations during each round. If you have a not-so-great conversation, that's going to happen to a LOT of other people during the process, not just you.

Sorority members are just as nervous, if not more, than the PNMs. They practice for weeks and weeks to try and make the process as smooth and painless as possible for the women like you who want to join. They're just as invested in making a good impression and feel just as dumb if they have an awkward conversation or think they made a bad impression.

Not everyone will join. Some girls will drop out because it's not their thing, some will drop out because they weren't happy with the groups that invited them back, some will be cut because they didn't keep an open mind about all the groups and it showed. The biggest thing is to go in with a positive attitude and keep an open mind about every group that invites you back. You may not think you mesh with a group one day and then love them the next.

The thing is, you'll never be able to join a sorority if you don't go through recruitment. I feel like it's better to go through and see what happens than be thinking five years later "Man, I wish I'd gone for it and tried." The what ifs of having never done it are often way worse than the what ifs of something you're scared to do.

I speak from experience - living with social anxiety has kept me from trying a lot of things, and I really regret not trying things more than I regret the times I did try and things didn't work out.

Everything you said was really helpful, especially the bolded! I just have to keep reminding myself of this. I keep kicking myself over stuff that happened at orientation that I don't think anyone else noticed. I need to let it go

I am absoluetly planning on going in with an open mind. I want to end up where I fit best. I've heard a few things about specific sororities, but I'm not letting it factor into my decision at all. There is only one sorority I'm planning on ranking low and it's because they are pretty new (within the last 5-10 years). My mom won't help me pay for a not established sorority. She thinks alumni relations are very important. Is she right or completely wrong?

Thanks so much for your response

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by sewlovely

There is only one sorority I'm planning on dropping first and that's only because they are pretty new (within the last 5-10 years). My mom won't help me pay for a not established sorority. She thinks alumni relations are very important. Is she right or completely wrong?

If you are talking about NPC sororities, she is wrong. With NPC sororities, the alumnae base includes women from all chapters, not just those from your school. The NPCs are all about 100 years old, give or take, so the age of the local collegiate chapter is relatively unimportant.

[sewlovely]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

If you are talking about NPC sororities, she is wrong. With NPC sororities, the alumnae base includes women from all chapters, not just those from your school. The NPCs are all about 100 years old, give or take, so the age of the local collegiate chapter is relatively unimportant.

I think it is NPC. So we are incorrect. Oops Didn't think about it this way.

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by sewlovely

I am absoluetly planning on going in with an open mind. I want to end up where I fit best. I've heard a few things about specific sororities, but I'm not letting it factor into my decision at all. There is only one sorority I'm planning on dropping first and that's only because they are pretty new (within the last 5-10 years). My mom won't help me pay for a not established sorority. She thinks alumni relations are very important. Is she right or completely wrong?

Thanks so much for your response

1. Careful with your wording - it's a mutual selection process - you rank, they make cuts.

2. If it's a local sorority that's brand new on campus, it's a little different than an NPC sorority that's been around since the late 1800s-early 1900s. Even though your chapter is new, there are alums from other chapters the world over who have been established for a long time.

And I'll be honest - the fact that I was in a sorority has opened as many doors as being in a specific sorority.

I'd be curious to hear others' take on this.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

And I'll be honest - the fact that I was in A sorority has opened as many doors as being in a specific sorority.

I'd be curious to hear others' take on this.

Bolded for emphasis, and I concur.

FWIW I joined Theta when they were only 5 years old at my college. Never regretted it once. I'm now an advisor to this well established and very successful chapter.

[AOII Angel]

I also would not assume that a new chapter has less support than an older, more established chapter. New chapters have a way of energizing alumnae in an area and can have extensive alumnae support. Older chapters sometimes have difficulties maintaining adequate support from their alumnae. Automatically discounting a younger chapter for this reason is misguided. Instead, I would ask all the chapters how much alumnae support they have. You might be surprised by the answers you get.

[sewlovely]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I also would not assume that a new chapter has less support than an older, more established chapter. New chapters have a way of energizing alumnae in an area and can have extensive alumnae support. Older chapters sometimes have difficulties maintaining adequate support from their alumnae. Automatically discounting a younger chapter for this reason is misguided. Instead, I would ask all the chapters how much alumnae support they have. You might be surprised by the answers you get.

I didn't even think about it this way. That could be very true, thanks! I will definately remember to ask about alumnae support.

[sewlovely]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Bolded for emphasis, and I concur.

FWIW I joined Theta when they were only 5 years old at my college. Never regretted it once. I'm now an advisor to this well established and very successful chapter.

It's nice to hear from someone who has been there and done that, thanks!

[sewlovely]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

1. Careful with your wording - it's a mutual selection process - you rank, they make cuts.

2. If it's a local sorority that's brand new on campus, it's a little different than an NPC sorority that's been around since the late 1800s-early 1900s. Even though your chapter is new, there are alums from other chapters the world over who have been established for a long time.

And I'll be honest - the fact that I was in a sorority has opened as many doors as being in a specific sorority.

I'd be curious to hear others' take on this.

More things to consider Thanks! I'll be more careful on my wording next time. Thanks for the advice!

[sewlovely]

Thanks for the response! I'll have to have a talk with my Mom. Please excuse the fact that I may be using a poor choice of words. I'm learning

[33girl]

Originally Posted by sewlovely

I am absoluetly planning on going in with an open mind. I want to end up where I fit best. I've heard a few things about specific sororities, but I'm not letting it factor into my decision at all. There is only one sorority I'm planning on ranking low and it's because they are pretty new (within the last 5-10 years). My mom won't help me pay for a not established sorority. She thinks alumni relations are very important. Is she right or completely wrong?

Your mom is completely wrong, as far as in saying such a thing to you. If she's a sorority alumna, she should know that sororities are cutting rushees as much as rushees are low-ranking sororities, if not more - so to dismiss a group because they're "only" 5 years old at a particular campus may be severely limiting your options.

Alumnae relations can be important, but you won't HAVE alumnae relations if you don't choose a sorority YOU like and feel comfortable with as far as the girls in that chapter. You'll be miserable and quit while you're still in school and won't ever become an alumna.

If she persists in such a narrow-minded attitude, most sororities have payment plans and you won't need her financial assistance.

Please try to put what your mother said totally out of your head. She may think she's being helpful, but she's being exactly the opposite.

[sewlovely]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Your mom is completely wrong, as far as in saying such a thing to you. If she's a sorority alumna, she should know that sororities are cutting rushees as much as rushees are low-ranking sororities, if not more - so to dismiss a group because they're "only" 5 years old at a particular campus may be severely limiting your options.

Alumnae relations can be important, but you won't HAVE alumnae relations if you don't choose a sorority YOU like and feel comfortable with as far as the girls in that chapter. You'll be miserable and quit while you're still in school and won't ever become an alumna.

If she persists in such a narrow-minded attitude, most sororities have payment plans and you won't need her financial assistance.

Please try to put what your mother said totally out of your head. She may think she's being helpful, but she's being exactly the opposite.

She is not an alumna. This is new to both of us and I think she is just trying to understand it and make sure I end up ithe best house for me. She means well, but she is a mother I've spoken to her and I think it's all cleared up.

I'm glad to hear about payment plans though. I'll most likely be paying for everything after freshman year is completed!

I am glad I posted here. It is nice to have information from people who actually know what they're talking about. I've gotten a lot of information that just doesn't make sense from other people, so confusing