Open Letter 8

[9dstpm]

Dear Comcast:

OK, Hubby and I paid our bill online on Saturday. Why have you called me all day today asking when are we going to pay our bill? I told you this morning at 9 that we paid it online. I also gave you the confirmation number from the receipt that we printed out. I thought that was the end of that. Then you call at 12 noon. Then again at 3. Then again at 5. You left messages asking about the past due bill. Then you call again at 6. Hubby answered the phone and told you that it was paid and also, AGAIN, gave you the confirmation number from the receipt. Then you call AGAIN at 7 tonight, interrupting my "Law and Order: CI" time. I asked you why are you constantly calling when we told you that the bill has been paid. You said that it takes longer for your computers to update accounts when the bills are paid online as opposed to when they are paid in person. That sounds like a personal problem to me. Maybe you should take some of the money that we pay for your overpriced services and upgrade your computer systems. Comcast, you make me sick; you charge all this money knowing that you are the only cable provider in Jacksonville. And it really sucks for me and Hubby because our lease stipulates that we cannot install a satellite dish so we are stuck with you until we move somewhere else. This does not give you the right to harrass your customers. We have paid the bill. Do not call my house again. If you do, you better hope Hubby answers the phone because he'll tell you off and hang up. I, on the other hand, will have no problem whatsoever telling you off and THEN contacting your corporate offices and informing them of your behavior. You act as if Hubby and I owe you $1,200 instead of $120. Don't call me again about this bill.

Signed,

9dstpm

[Velocity_14]

Dear CW,

You have a very nasty a$$ attitude, and the fact that you aren't even "halfway decent looking" makes you look more worse than you already look. You have demonstrated the same attributes as you crazy cousin who is believed to have some serious issues; and you have been caught and called out about lying time and time again. You are very rude and inconsiderate and act as if you have NO home training...which you might not. You, CW, are a lame a$$ individual who has unfortunately caught a case of bitchassness.

I do not like you, and you have officially been put on my sh*t list; no one likes being on that list.

~V14~

[QuietStorm236]

Dear Girlfriend,

Thanks for having my daughter over for a sleep over last night. You were the first person I trusted with my oldest baby for an overnight.

I truly appreciate you stepping out on a limb and having 8 loud, noisy, giggly girls over to your new house.

I will return the favor, because I appreciate the beginning experience of sisterhood that you encouraged in all the daughters who were at your home.

Thanks!

[QuietStorm236]

Dear Cousin,

It was cool to see you at auntie's birthday party last night, evidently its been awhile and things change rapidly in your life.

What were you thinking when you brought Ms. Tramp Stamp and introduced her as your fiance?

True mood killa, since we all had known Ms. Microsoft for the past 4 years and had been waiting for a sign from heaven that you realized she was THE ONE.

I mean come on, Ms. Microsoft was just at Nana's house for the MLK day chicken and waffle dinner.

Where in the hell did you find Ms. Tramp Stamp and within 60 days decide SHE was the one?

Please don't give Ms. Tramp Stamp my address. I am not ready to come to any bridal showers for her. Not sure what to give her; a gift certificate to Ink and More, perhaps?

Still Love you,

Your Cousin

[christiangirl]

Dear Trifling So-and-So,

I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me VOMIT. You're the scuuuum between my toes.

Love,
CG

[nikki1920]

Dear Comcast:
I double dare you to call 9dstpm again. During Law and Order.

Signed,
The Instigator.

[ladylike]

Dear Snoop:
Who told you that you were sexy? Sensual Seduction...Sexual Suction...whatever the name of the song. Who told you that you could do that? ((throwing up in my mouth just a teensy bit))

Malnourished dudes are not sexy. Your nipples touch for chrissakes!
That infamous scene in BabyBoy with you wearing the "wifebeater"...you looked like a chicken wing in a tank top.

Stop the madness.

[christiangirl]

Dear Homework,

Go away.

Signed,
Stressed Over School

[DivineDiva47]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Dear Homework,

Go away.

Signed,
Stressed Over School

OMG do I second this motion! I am taking the summer off to chill. Haven't done that in 4years!!!! Being that I thought I was super woman trying to go from one Masters to another without a breather....STOOOPID!!!

[DSTCHAOS]

Dear ladylike:

Snoop was a lil sexy when he first came out with Dre. That's before he started looking like a skinny arse vampire pole. Maybe gaining 50lbs would help him.

Dear Cheese Grits:

I know I'm one of those people who can eat breakfast food all day. So I appreciate you being my early dinner because I was feeling like cooking some cheese grits. You were great and I have no excuse to be hungry later when I get out of my meetings. I put A LOT of cheese in you so let's hope you don't hate on my arteries or make my tummy brrrrrrrrrrr. Thanks.

Signed,
Loyal Breakfast Food Customer and Cheese Worshipper

[ladylike]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Dear ladylike:

Snoop was a lil sexy when he first came out with Dre. That's before he started looking like a skinny arse vampire pole. Maybe gaining 50lbs would help him.

Dear Cheese Grits:

I know I'm one of those people who can eat breakfast food all day. So I appreciate you being my early dinner because I was feeling like cooking some cheese grits. You were great and I have no excuse to be hungry later when I get out of my meetings. I put A LOT of cheese in you so let's hope you don't hate on my arteries or make my tummy brrrrrrrrrrr. Thanks.

Signed,
Loyal Breakfast Food Customer and Cheese Worshipper

Dear Chaos:
"Skinny arse vampire pole." Yep. That sounds about right.
I can count his ribs. He needs to sensually seduce a plate of chicken and waffles.

Do you have a cheese grits recipe? How do you keep it creamy without becoming a gritty cheese brick?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by ladylike

Dear Chaos:
"Skinny arse vampire pole." Yep. That sounds about right.
I can count his ribs. He needs to sensually seduce a plate of chicken and waffles.

Do you have a cheese grits recipe? How do you keep it creamy without becoming a gritty cheese brick?

He looked disgusting in Baby Boy.

I put garlic salt in the boiling water, half a cup more water than I'm supposed to and stir constantly to avoid it getting too thick. Then I get cheddar (or American 2% milk only, depending on how thick I feel like my cheese being) and make a big old bowl of cheese grits. YUM.

[CrimsonTide4]

Dear MKG,

I despise you to the utmost right now. Like no lie on the hate that is flowing in my veins right now.

[jitterbug13]

Dear guyfriend,

WHY ON EARTH CAN'T YOU JUST PICK UP THE PHONE?????? I told you I wanted to be in something real and you agreed. I told you that I hate people not fulfilling their side of the relationship and contacting me. And you told me you understood. So why are you doing this? If I can have time to call you by working two jobs AND studying for the MAT, why can't you? If you don't improve VERY SOON you are going to get dropped!!!!

JB13

[jitterbug13]

Originally Posted by jitterbug13

Dear guyfriend,

WHY ON EARTH CAN'T YOU JUST PICK UP THE PHONE??????

This bears repeating. I can hear from Kappafriend and the other guy I tried to talk to but was too busy with law school but I can't hear from you?

Dear Usher,

In the last few days I have been reading the celebrity blogs. Your child was born in November. It is now almost April. WHERE IS YOUR CHILD???? Please don't have us wondering it this child is real (like Suri). At the rate you're going, we'll see Jamie Lynn's child before yours. BTW, I'm not feeling your new song.

Signed,
JB13