Is sex really that big of a deal?

christiangirl · #1 03-15-2007, 12:16 AM

So in less than 10 weeks, I'll be a college graduate who has been single ALL 4 YEARS. There have been plenty of jerks, loads of dogs, even the did-i-forget-to-tell-you-i'm-engaged guy. But there have been a few who I actually started to fall for. But they always ended the same: I wouldn't have sex with them, so they bailed. A couple even told me that they wanted to have sex with other people while they were with me and if I didn't agree, then they'd just cheat on me! That made it way easier, at least they were up front about it. But there were so many who saw me and were so into me. It was only because I was a 'mission' (according to some guys, I apparently have VIRGIN tattooed across my forehead). Once they realized I had no intention having sex, they all (even the genuinely nice ones) walked away. I've only found one guy who honestly doesn't mind and since I'm moving when I graduate, we're slowly weaning ourselves back to "just friends."

Is sex really such a big deal that you would pass up a good woman if you don't get it?

James · #2 03-15-2007, 01:19 AM

Isn't a relationship without sexual contact called friendship?

I am being glib, but also serious.

ΑΓΔSquirrel10 · #3 03-15-2007, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Isn't a relationship without sexual contact called friendship?

I am being glib, but also serious.

I will have to disagree. You can have a relationship with someone and not sleep with them. I personally would refuse to date a guy if he only wanted that one thing.

KSUViolet06 · #4 03-15-2007, 02:14 AM

It's not really that big of a deal for me in a relationship. I've chosen to not sleep with guys I date. I've never had a problem finding guys to date me, as long as I was honest with them about it. There were a few who didn't like the idea of not having sex, so I let them go. Eventually, I found someone who shared the same beliefs about sex. Honestly, if you don't want sex in a relationship, be honest. Sure, there will be some guys who don't want to be with you becaue of it, but that's life.

sdsuchelle · #5 03-15-2007, 02:17 AM

It's one thing if the guy wanted only sex from you, and not companionship or an eventual committed relationship. That's shady. However, if his issue was that you wouldn't have sex with him even inside a committed, serious relationship, that's different.

Personally I believe in abstaining from sex with a guy unless we're in an exclusive relationship... but I don't think I could seriously date a guy who would never have sex with me until marriage. It's just not what I want.

WVU alpha phi · #6 03-15-2007, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

It's one thing if the guy wanted only sex from you, and not companionship or an eventual committed relationship. That's shady. However, if his issue was that you wouldn't have sex with him even inside a committed, serious relationship, that's different.

Personally I believe in abstaining from sex with a guy unless we're in an exclusive relationship... but I don't think I could seriously date a guy who would never have sex with me until marriage. It's just not what I want.

Agreed.

RoyalEmpress33 · #7 03-19-2007, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Isn't a relationship without sexual contact called friendship?

I am being glib, but also serious.

Let's say for example you were dating a young woman for about 3 1/2 years before you proposed to her. You mean to tell me the entire time you were just dating you'd just consider her your 'friend'? Even though you weren't having sex or were waiting to get married to have sex?

I'm lost...

Anyway, I was in this same situation not too long ago actually. I really liked this guy (or THOUGHT I did) and because I liked him and he was well aware of it, he thought that this was his open invitation to having sex with me. He felt as though,well, I like him, so I'll give him whatever he wants. Ummm-NOT! I don't think so. I'm a virgin, and plan on staying that way for a long time. If he didn't like it, that was just too damn bad and he can go back where he came from. Well, the next day after I denied him of ANY sexual activity, he started acting foolish. Didn't speak. Didn't call or anything. But you know what? That's fine. F*ck him is what I say.

Alot of women feel like in order to keep a so-called "man" that they have to give up the only precious thing they can't get back just so some man can have another notch on his belt. If a man is not willing to get some self-control and WAIT, then you don't need him. I might have got off topic a little, but that's my two cents.

valkyrie · #8 03-19-2007, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoyalEmpress33

Let's say for example you were dating a young woman for about 3 1/2 years before you proposed to her. You mean to tell me the entire time you were just dating you'd just consider her your 'friend'? Even though you weren't having sex or were waiting to get married to have sex?

I'm lost...

I'm pretty sure James wouldn't be dating a young woman for 3 1/2 years without having sex with her.

RoyalEmpress33 · #9 03-19-2007, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I'm pretty sure James wouldn't be dating a young woman for 3 1/2 years without having sex with her.

LOL, well that's true too. He would have to answer that for himself though. Its more of a general question.

christiangirl · #10 03-19-2007, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I'm pretty sure James wouldn't be dating a young woman for 3 1/2 years without having sex with her.

LOL, that's what I was thinking.

But for real, in that class I was talking about there were 100+ people and I was THE ONLY ONE who didn't feel that if 2 people weren't having sex, it still was a relationship. Everyone else said that the couple were just friends.

Drolefille · #11 03-19-2007, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

LOL, that's what I was thinking.

But for real, in that class I was talking about there were 100+ people and I was THE ONLY ONE who didn't feel that if 2 people weren't having sex, it still was a relationship. Everyone else said that the couple were just friends.

Well, I agree with you. Otherwise I stayed friends with my boyfriend for a looong time before we were really "in a relationship."

Sex, and sexual behavior do not a relationship make. That's not to say there's not a sexual drive behind your emotions and feelings for each other, there is. But, if, God forbid, something happened to my boyfriend and sex was no longer an option, I'd still love him. And I know that the opposite is also true.

Love =/= Sex
Sex =/= Love

AKA_Monet · #12 03-15-2007, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

So in less than 10 weeks, I'll be a college graduate who has been single ALL 4 YEARS. There have been plenty of jerks, loads of dogs, even the did-i-forget-to-tell-you-i'm-engaged guy. But there have been a few who I actually started to fall for. But they always ended the same: I wouldn't have sex with them, so they bailed. A couple even told me that they wanted to have sex with other people while they were with me and if I didn't agree, then they'd just cheat on me! That made it way easier, at least they were up front about it. But there were so many who saw me and were so into me. It was only because I was a 'mission' (according to some guys, I apparently have VIRGIN tattooed across my forehead). Once they realized I had no intention having sex, they all (even the genuinely nice ones) walked away. I've only found one guy who honestly doesn't mind and since I'm moving when I graduate, we're slowly weaning ourselves back to "just friends."

Is sex really such a big deal that you would pass up a good woman if you don't get it?

You're a challenge for these fools. So how are you dating players?

Just because you have never had a "man's touch", doesn't mean you cannot learn Tantra's uses.

neosoul · #13 03-15-2007, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Just because you have never had a "man's touch", doesn't mean you cannot learn Tantra's uses.

amen...

valkyrie · #14 03-15-2007, 12:03 PM

I'm not a guy, but yes, sex is really that big of a deal.

mulattogyrl · #15 03-15-2007, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I'm not a guy, but yes, sex is really that big of a deal.

I'm with you on this one.