yet another question about recs...lol

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by OTW

Some of you may disagree with me, but I don't think it's appropriate to contact any of the Michigan sororities, even if your daughter will be attending a different school.

I agree. Unless you actually know those sorority members I don't feel that is appropriate. But say, your friend's daughter goes to school there and is a ZYX. If you know her, and her GLO says it's OK for collegians to write recs, then I'd say that is different... But I wouldn't go emailing all of the chapters at Michigan looking for recs. That is not approporiate at all.

Re: Macon Magnolias - that is in reference to ADPi & Phi Mu, both of whom were founded in Macon, GA.

Even if you are in a small town in the midwest I don't think that should hinder you from trying church or other family member contacts.

Take me for instance. I grew up in a TINY town in the southern part of Texas. You may think all of Texas is all about greek life because it's Texas and we have a few flagship schools, but the area I grew up in was nothing like that. There were, however members of many NPC's. Many of which were members at other Texas schools and moved to the area I group up in.

So the point is, just because Greek Life doesn't have a huge presence in your area does not mean that people there are not greek. You just have to find them

[lawgal]

I definately would not be mass emailing. Would it be wrong to ask if they know of any local (or regional) alumnae chapters for their sorority? Or would it just be better to try the sorority's national for that? Or would that be inappropriate also? I really appreciate the advice, since it looks like some pnms take the wrong steps to get their recs and I would not want my daughter to do anything that would hurt her, or that would teach her the wrong things to do....

[violetpretty]

There are a lot of places your daughter can find alumnae. Once you find one sorority alumna, she will often know of others! Many sororities do allow collegians to write recs, so don't discount one if your daughter knows her personally (assuming her sorority allows collegians to write recs). It would, however, be inappropriate to contact University of Michigan chapters soliciting recs.

This list should give you some ideas of how to find sorority alumnae:

Teachers
Coaches
Activity sponsors
HS staff members
Parents' friends
Grandmothers' friends
Older friends
Older siblings' friends
Older sisters of friends
Older friends of friends
Women from a place of worship (if applicable)
Women from your daughter's job (boss/coworkers)
Babysitters

Recs are best when the rec writer knows the PNM personally. Since you have a whole year to try to hunt down rec writers, you should be able to find a good amount. Once you've asked everyone you could possibly think of, THEN you should "fill in the gaps" with alumnae panhellenic or alumnae chapters of sororities. I live in a small town (granted it is only 45 minutes from Washington DC---but it's only 5,000 people and pretty redneck) and I could point a PNM in the direction of alumnae from at least 3/4 of the NPC. You'll find some alumnae.

[AlphaXi_Husky]

Originally Posted by lawgal

I definately would not be mass emailing. Would it be wrong to ask if they know of any local (or regional) alumnae chapters for their sorority? Or would it just be better to try the sorority's national for that? Or would that be inappropriate also? I really appreciate the advice, since it looks like some pnms take the wrong steps to get their recs and I would not want my daughter to do anything that would hurt her, or that would teach her the wrong things to do....

Most alum chapters are listed on national sororities' websites. If that's a route to take (and I'm not sure it is as I don't know much about getting - or writing - recs) then I would recommend looking on the websites and contacting people from there.

[AZ-AlphaXi]

You might also try researching the National web sites of the specific sororities. Some
list alumnae chapter/association contacts publicly.

[gee_ess]

I second the suggestion to solicit recs from your home area as well as locally. Recs can come from anywhere. When my daughter went through rush, I asked friends from my hometown (which was a much larger city) as well as finding resources locally in the small town we live in now.

You are doing a good thing by beginning the process now. I helped a young woman today who is just starting the rec process...it is going to be tough in this town to find all she needs in such a short time.

[FSUZeta]

if your daughter attends uf or auburn she will definately need recs. good for you for beginning the process now.

don't know if anyone listed this possibility, but your daughter might also solicit the parents of her friends for recs. you and your husband could ask your co-workers. explore every possibility.

if you or your sister are sorority members, but have not been active as an alumna, now might be the time to get involved again. reconnecting with your sisters will probably lead to members of other sororities and there you go.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by lawgal

That is why we are starting early - we are definately small town USA, but very charming, old historic homes etc. The midwest is not a hotbed of sorority alumna from what I can tell. I transplanted from the South, and my dad still lives in GA. Is your reference to Macon Magnolias related to Macon Georgia?

I am guessing that if you went to law school there were some NPC women in your class - and probably are in your firm, if you're practicing!

[lawgal]

I will follow the great suggestions- you probably wont hear from me for a while but I will be lurking out there and next summer I will try to get my daughter to post a recruitment story thread. I love that Greek Chat is available. I did not go greek because I was on a fast track graduation plan, (3 years 1 qtr.) and always regretted it because my sister had a great time with her sorority.

[Lamplighter]

OK...I've gotten differing answers regarding this, so I'm going to see what the general consensus is here: Daughter is going out of state. She has at least one rec to all the sororities, in fact all but one have 2 or three, including local recs and recs from former alums from that school. There is one sorority that that she has a local and alum rec, but I also have 2 cousins that went to school there and were in that sorority. (are you lost yet?)

My question is this: How many recs are too many, or should we go with the more the better? Rush is pretty competitive, just as it is at all SEC schools.

[gee_ess]

There are varying thoughts on this (and several threads) but if rush is competitive, the fact that you have 2 or 3 per house is good in my opinion - especially since your daughter is from out of state.

[Lamplighter]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

There are varying thoughts on this (and several threads) but if rush is competitive, the fact that you have 2 or 3 per house is good in my opinion - especially since your daughter is from out of state.

I've looked for any threads dealing with this and so far haven't found them. Would you direct me?

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by Lamplighter

I've looked for any threads dealing with this and so far haven't found them. Would you direct me?

There aren't really any threads specifically about the "how many is too many?" question, but if you read through the wealth of recommendation threads, you'll find what gee_ess is talking about.

As an SEC alum, I would say that 2 or 3 is good, but much more could be considered overkill. However, it always depends on the campus, the chapter, and even the relationship between the girl and rec-writers.

Overkill: A girl has 6 recs from random women who don't know her well, that could be considered overkill.
Not Overkill: A girl has 6 recs from Grandma, Mom, her two older sisters, and her two aunts, all of whom were ABC members. It's not like little Susie could say "No, Grandma, I don't want you to write me a rec." We had a girl go through recruitment once who had 15 or 16 DG family members and they ALL wrote recs for her, but we certainly didn't consider that overkill because they all loved her and wanted to share about their different takes on her... it's not like she could pick and choose and tell the others not to write them.

[SWTXBelle]

What you ideally want is well-written recs from women who know your daughter. The best way to get them is through networking now. If you can't get recs from someone who knows your daughter well, I would say it would be overkill to have more than 2 - 3 from, for example, Alumnae Panhellenic representatives.The chapters will really appreciate recs that tell them more than they can glean from the panhellenic recruitment forms. HTH

[FSUZeta]

lamplighter, if your cousins want to write recs. for you daughter, i would let them. as
dgdramadawg said, most chapters would not consider it overkill if several recs. for the same girl were sent in by people who know the pnm well, and by relatives who would love to be able to call their pnm a sister in addition to a relative.