How do you trust someone?

[Rudey]

James were you the guy?

-Rudey

[smiley21]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I wasn't asking how I trust him.... just how do you trust people at all. Any new person you, without having some kind of connection to them, could be anyone. So how to you try to trust people you JUST met?

That's just it. You don't need to trust people who you have just met. People need to earn your trust. And we (especially women) need to protect ourselves when getting involved with different people. Pay attention to all of these red flags this guy is giving you. People like this should not have our trust. Forget the sex offender stuff. Just look at the way he is already trying to control you by saying how you guys should meet. I can already sense things are going to get worse if you continue with him. When it comes to internet dating, I think guys and girls should take proactive steps in learning about the person so that you are comfortable. If people cannot respect that, then screw them. You can find someone better.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm glad you picked up on the red flags before meeting this guy. Stick to your rules and if you ever have any doubts, then don't meet him.

You should come over sometime this summer and meet my next door neighbor's son.. mechanical engineer, Italian, cute (in a "boy next door" kinda way) nice guy (mows my lawn sometimes and helps me with household emergencies sometimes), and I think a year or two older than you!

Is this the same boy who made a snowman on your lawn that one time? Lol I probably know him. Could you PM me his name? Lol I hope it's not a relative! I've found that Italian boys like skinny girls though. Who knows?

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by smiley21

That's just it. You don't need to trust people who you have just met. People need to earn your trust. And we (especially women) need to protect ourselves when getting involved with different people. Pay attention to all of these red flags this guy is giving you. People like this should not have our trust. Forget the sex offender stuff. Just look at the way he is already trying to control you by saying how you guys should meet. I can already sense things are going to get worse if you continue with him. When it comes to internet dating, I think guys and girls should take proactive steps in learning about the person so that you are comfortable. If people cannot respect that, then screw them. You can find someone better.

Definitely done with him. He creeped me out at first but I thought "hmm maybe it's just me". But yeah... def gone.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by smiley21

When it comes to internet dating, I think guys and girls should take proactive steps in learning about the person so that you are comfortable. If people cannot respect that, then screw them. You can find someone better.

I think that's true for dating anyone. When I met the current Mr. Munch (in real life), he gave me his business card--and of course before I accepted the first date, I did a small bit of reconaissance to make sure that his story lined up. Unless I know a guy through friends, I always do a little research to make sure he doesn't have kids and a wife, or a criminal record, before accepting a date. It might be unromantic, but I'm alive.

[ziasha07]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It might be unromantic, but I'm alive.

So true.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by Rudey

James were you the guy?

-Rudey

No this guy, I think, has a penis. James is still trying to find his.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think that's true for dating anyone. When I met the current Mr. Munch (in real life), he gave me his business card--and of course before I accepted the first date, I did a small bit of reconaissance to make sure that his story lined up. Unless I know a guy through friends, I always do a little research to make sure he doesn't have kids and a wife, or a criminal record, before accepting a date. It might be unromantic, but I'm alive.

My best friend had a friend set her up with one of her co-workers and he turned out to be married. Nobody at his WORK even knew he was married. Too weird.

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Is this the same boy who made a snowman on your lawn that one time? Lol I probably know him. Could you PM me his name? Lol I hope it's not a relative! I've found that Italian boys like skinny girls though. Who knows?

I think it was his brother who did the snowman thing, he's a few years younger and a bit more wild. I PMd you though.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I met this guy on plentyoffish.com.

It's your fault.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

4) It's stories like this that keep me single... haha.

Stories like this should keep you from meeting men off of websites and nothing more.

I see nothing wrong with Googling a man's name and driving separate cars when you go out until you feel comfortable with each other. I don't let a man see where I live or go to his house until I know his background. This includes whether he has a criminal record (I don't date men with criminal records), his family, education, and career. I pretty much am trying to figure out if he has as much at stake as I do. Meaning, I don't do drama because I have too much to lose. I date men who have as much if not more to lose from drama as I do. Therefore, no drama.

Anything beyond that, in my opinion, is doing too much.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

It's your fault.

Hmmm so then what about girls who get hooked up with someone and they turn out to be a rapist or woman beater or something. It can happen anywhere.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

It can happen anywhere.

Yeah and with you it happened from a website dude.

The perceived "anonymity" of the internet increases the chances of dating mishaps and other crazy stuff. Meet your guys in-person and begin the screening process from there.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I wasn't asking how I trust him.... just how do you trust people at all. Any new person you, without having some kind of connection to them, could be anyone. So how to you try to trust people you JUST met?




I have a friend from high school like this. They were I think 3 or 4 years apart and her parents found out they had sex and charged him with statutory. He did quite a long time and it was all over our neighborhood news.

ETA: I asked the website what their policy on sex offenders are and they said they remove their profiles immediately, so obviously I reported him. So he doesn't find out it was me, I'm playing how to lose a guy in 10 minutes with him. I'm gona pretend to be the psycho.

You really can't trust right away. I work with a lady who's husband left her for another woman after being married for over 30 years. A much younger woman too. I guess you have to just take chances, ya know.

If you ever meet a guy again rather it be on the net or in person, if he does anything that you find wierd, leave him alone right away.

[1908Revelations]

DSTCHAOS, I pretty much share your sentiments.

I don't see anything wrong with people meeeting other people off of the internet, but I sure as hell am not going to do it.

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

DSTCHAOS, I pretty much share your sentiments.

I don't see anything wrong with people meeeting other people off of the internet, but I sure as hell am not going to do it.

/hijack
I have met 3 men since I was of legal age from an internet dating sites...the first was a great guy who eventually came from NY to visit but the distance kinda faded things..the second was lame but a really nice guy and we are still friends...the third I met and we dated for several months...my thing is respecting your own comfort zone...I always meet dates out in public and they only get the work cell at first...I drive mysef and if he's crazy then he doesn't really know much about me...but I'm a talker so in my case we had talked on the phone/emailed for a while until I felt comfortable...I personally think that there are psychos in the club, on the net, at the market, etc so the internet isn't different from any other setting...I actually like the fact that on the internet at first at least a man has to be able to type, spell, and use the king's english correctly.I still have the same requirements that I have with a man I met elsewhere,...ie eduacation, no more than 1 child if any, a sense of spirituality, etc..from there it's the phone conversations...I don't know I was kinda adventurous/crazy in my younger years...now I'm a mommy and its all different...kinda...