Am I psychotic or is this normal?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

A lot of times we have trouble carrying out a decent conversation with each other, but it's the things left unsaid that draws me in.

She gives great blow jobs.

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

I feel so comfortable and at ease when she's by my side, like we connect on some level that can't be explained.

She has an incredibly low self esteem and doesn't ask much of a guy.

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

She's asked me before why I like her, and to be honest I had a hard time coming up with things other than the fact that I love the way I feel when I'm with her.

Everyone likes orgasms.

"Opposites attract" is a bunch of bunk. It usually means "opposites" to the outside world, like the liberal dating the conservative or something like that. If you can't have a conversation, and you can say point blank that you don't like her as a person, then I would agree w/ preciousjeni - it's all about the pheromones.

You're using this girl. Show some respect for yourself and kindness to her and dump her, if she doesn't have the self esteem to go herself.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by 33girl

You're using this girl. Show some respect for yourself and kindness to her and dump her, if she doesn't have the self esteem to go herself.

Or if the sex is good, limit the purpose of your relationship.

No reason to kick something to curb when it at least has some redeeming qualities.

[33girl]

If she's asking why he likes her, it's a sign that she's attached emotionally as well as physically and if he keeps her around just for sex, he might really be in trouble later. "Limiting" the relationship is easier said than done.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If she's asking why he likes her, it's a sign that she's attached emotionally as well as physically and if he keeps her around just for sex, he might really be in trouble later. "Limiting" the relationship is easier said than done.

But don't guys do that all the time anyways? They don't care that the girl is attached, as long as she doesn't start acting crazy.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

But don't guys do that all the time anyways? They don't care that the girl is attached, as long as she doesn't start acting crazy.

Acting crazy is debatable. Many people are led to believe they are in relationships (or there is a lack of definition and honesty, omission if you will), which then causes feelings to be hurt, and the result is "acting crazy." I personally wouldn't want to date a guy who wasn't 100% about me, but I'm pretty independent and really enjoy my own company as well as that of my friends.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Acting crazy is debatable. Many people are led to believe they are in relationships (or there is a lack of definition and honesty, omission if you will), which then causes feelings to be hurt, and the result is "acting crazy."

That's an excellent thread topic in itself.

I am hesitant of men who have "crazy exes," especially more than one. It almost always means that they are crazy themselves and have done something to either lead a woman on or to encourage crazy behavior.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That's an excellent thread topic in itself.

I am hesitant of men who have "crazy exes," especially more than one. It almost always means that they are crazy themselves and have done something to either lead a woman on or to encourage crazy behavior.

Exactly, I've had some previous relationships with similarities (the guys were alcoholics, didn't meet any of them in bars or even when booze was around) and I don't know why that was, other than I have a caring and loving personality, which led me to stay longer than I should have. I am sure some facet of my personality attracts men with that to me, and they aren't bad people, but they have a huge struggle that I haven't experienced. I left when they decided to not get help for themselves as any conditions or ultimatums would have led to disappointments. If they, and only they, made the choice to get help, I'd stand by their side 100% and reconsider a relationship.

I do have one ex who I fully believe needs therapy (no physical addictions), and when he refused to attend couples counseling sessions I decided the relationship wasn't worth it to me. My theory was what he was so scared of and was the real issue with him would be addressed if he went. He tried to paint me as crazy but it failed, miserably, to the point it made him look guano. He kept flaking out on our sessions, making plans with me and disappearing, and when I said "no more of this, I am done, have a nice life" he created a lot of problems for me.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Acting crazy is debatable. Many people are led to believe they are in relationships (or there is a lack of definition and honesty, omission if you will), which then causes feelings to be hurt, and the result is "acting crazy." I personally wouldn't want to date a guy who wasn't 100% about me, but I'm pretty independent and really enjoy my own company as well as that of my friends.

I think this is the issue. People don't talk anymore...it's like, either be my boyfriend or be gone. Our generation does this whole "vague" relationship bullshit that doesn't help anyone. Folks get attached, feelings get hurt.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think this is the issue. People don't talk anymore...it's like, either be my boyfriend or be gone. Our generation does this whole "vague" relationship bullshit that doesn't help anyone. Folks get attached, feelings get hurt.

Truth.

[James]

I think its the whole: "Lets hang out" mentality. I'll pick you up at 8 and take you to dinner has been replaced with , meet me here. Or, come over.

It leaves even the guys in limbo as to what the heck is going on. We hesitate, lose the lead, and fumble it.

Assuming the guy knows how to lead at all.

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think this is the issue. People don't talk anymore...it's like, either be my boyfriend or be gone. Our generation does this whole "vague" relationship bullshit that doesn't help anyone. Folks get attached, feelings get hurt.

Originally Posted by James

I think its the whole: "Lets hang out" mentality. I'll pick you up at 8 and take you to dinner has been replaced with , meet me here. Or, come over.

It leaves even the guys in limbo as to what the heck is going on. We hesitate, lose the lead, and fumble it.

Assuming the guy knows how to lead at all.

Holy toledo, Batman. Where the hell have you been, James?

[James]

Earth to Pika. You like her. You just have trouble intellectualizing it. Just because you can't articulate an intangible doesn't make the feeling less valid.

"I love the way I feel when I am with you" is a pretty heady feeling and a hella compliment.

The warm fuzzies have to be the coolest feeling in the universe. I hate when they fade, usually because one or both people start thinking too much.

Good chemistry is usually the start of the best relationships.

The two most important aspects of a relationship are attraction and compatibility. Compatibility is really just getting along in a positive way, not some systematic comparison of resumes.

We are social creatures with intellect so we are constantly searching for some type of mental blueprint that we are "doing it right".

But that can cause a disconnect between what we feel and what we "think" we should feel.

You have tons of things in common. But you may not have exact things. You both may like ice cream but like different flavors etc.

I have a lot of varied interests and different groups of friends. I train ballroom dancing, if she doesn't that's fine. I train in the gym, if she doesn't that's fine also. I read a lot etc . . .

If she isn't into those things its cool because I have diverse and varied friends that are, and I don't require any one person to have mastery in every skill set and interest that I have. But those various friends don't give me the warm fuzzies either. And damn those warm fuzzies feel good.

So stop questioning a good thing. Has all sense of romance been sacrificed to the gods of pseudo practicality and over intellectualization?

Well then I'll tell you a secret. The vast majority of people do it by the numbers. They date the accepted background, the accepted race, the accepted religion, and deliberately stay within the accepted "norms". They will even go so far as to reject people that don't fall within these standards. And guess what, the divorce rate is enormous and most people in steady relationships are either bored or unhappy.

So given that the mainstream point of view doesn't have the best track record, I don't think giving the warm fuzzies a sincere chance is completely unreasonable.

So suspend your disbelief and enjoy the feeling. And if you feel the need talk about Kant or Global politics, call someone that you know cares about it.

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

So I'm dating this girl for about two months now that i'm really into. I'm always thinking about her when I'm not with her, texting, calling, etc. I'm pretty sure she fancies me too ( I know for a fact she loves the attention I give her) but the problem is I don't really "like" her. We have nothing in common, are completely different in attitude and lifestyle, share none of the same ambitions and so forth. A lot of times we have trouble carrying out a decent conversation with each other, but it's the things left unsaid that draws me in. I feel so comfortable and at ease when she's by my side, like we connect on some level that can't be explained. She's asked me before why I like her, and to be honest I had a hard time coming up with things other than the fact that I love the way I feel when I'm with her. I've never been in a relationship like this one before and almost feel like it may be unhealthy in some way, or maybe I've just been single too long and don't recognize a good thing when I see it.

[James]

Hey gorgeous .

I have been playing with more real world toys/people rather than my imaginary (so to speak) friends on the internet.

So I have been a lot more passive on greekchat because of time constraints. And also, a lot of us are already talked out on topics

Originally Posted by OTW

Holy toledo, Batman. Where the hell have you been, James?

[LightBulb]

Originally Posted by James

Earth to Pika. You like her. You just have trouble intellectualizing it. Just because you can't articulate an intangible doesn't make the feeling less valid.

"I love the way I feel when I am with you" is a pretty heady feeling and a hella compliment.

The warm fuzzies have to be the coolest feeling in the universe. I hate when they fade, usually because one or both people start thinking too much.

Yay! Romance lives!

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think this is the issue. People don't talk anymore...it's like, either be my boyfriend or be gone. Our generation does this whole "vague" relationship bullshit that doesn't help anyone. Folks get attached, feelings get hurt.

Are you referring to the whole "Friends with benefits" thing? It's something I do not understand about your generation. In my view, the difference between "friend" and "boyfriend" was about sexual involvement. If you are good friends and there is a sexual attraction, then, to me, that's a romantic attraction. Part of me can't help but wonder if, in these "friends with benefits" relationships, one of the partners wants it to be a committed romantic relationship and believes that eventually, the other one will "wake up" and realize that they should be in a relationship. I do think that tends to be the female, but I've met some dependent men who would do anything just to stay part of the person's life too.