Earth to Pika. You like her. You just have trouble intellectualizing it. Just because you can't articulate an intangible doesn't make the feeling less valid.
"I love the way I feel when I am with you" is a pretty heady feeling and a hella compliment.
The warm fuzzies have to be the coolest feeling in the universe. I hate when they fade, usually because one or both people start thinking too much.
Good chemistry is usually the start of the best relationships.
The two most important aspects of a relationship are attraction and compatibility. Compatibility is really just getting along in a positive way, not some systematic comparison of resumes.
We are social creatures with intellect so we are constantly searching for some type of mental blueprint that we are "doing it right".
But that can cause a disconnect between what we feel and what we "think" we should feel.
You have tons of things in common. But you may not have exact things. You both may like ice cream but like different flavors etc.
I have a lot of varied interests and different groups of friends. I train ballroom dancing, if she doesn't that's fine. I train in the gym, if she doesn't that's fine also. I read a lot etc . . .
If she isn't into those things its cool because I have diverse and varied friends that are, and I don't require any one person to have mastery in every skill set and interest that I have. But those various friends don't give me the warm fuzzies either. And damn those warm fuzzies feel good.
So stop questioning a good thing. Has all sense of romance been sacrificed to the gods of pseudo practicality and over intellectualization?
Well then I'll tell you a secret. The vast majority of people do it by the numbers. They date the accepted background, the accepted race, the accepted religion, and deliberately stay within the accepted "norms". They will even go so far as to reject people that don't fall within these standards. And guess what, the divorce rate is enormous and most people in steady relationships are either bored or unhappy.
So given that the mainstream point of view doesn't have the best track record, I don't think giving the warm fuzzies a sincere chance is completely unreasonable.
So suspend your disbelief and enjoy the feeling. And if you feel the need talk about Kant or Global politics, call someone that you know cares about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PiKA2001
So I'm dating this girl for about two months now that i'm really into. I'm always thinking about her when I'm not with her, texting, calling, etc. I'm pretty sure she fancies me too ( I know for a fact she loves the attention I give her) but the problem is I don't really "like" her. We have nothing in common, are completely different in attitude and lifestyle, share none of the same ambitions and so forth. A lot of times we have trouble carrying out a decent conversation with each other, but it's the things left unsaid that draws me in. I feel so comfortable and at ease when she's by my side, like we connect on some level that can't be explained. She's asked me before why I like her, and to be honest I had a hard time coming up with things other than the fact that I love the way I feel when I'm with her. I've never been in a relationship like this one before and almost feel like it may be unhealthy in some way, or maybe I've just been single too long and don't recognize a good thing when I see it.
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