What do you feel like saying, right now?

[Zach]

I think Phrozen’s on to something here, and I say that as someone who’s lived through it twice. One of the things I’ve learned is that when women detach emotionally, they’re already halfway gone. You usually don’t see it coming because on the surface, everything seems fine. But once that emotional switch flips, it’s over, she’s not working her way back, she’s working her way out. That’s why the stats are what they are. Women file for the majority of divorces, and it’s not usually because of abuse, it’s because they weren’t happy.

And that’s the scary part. You can be faithful, help with bills, do everything you think is right, and still wake up one day blindsided by papers you didn’t expect. To gamble a man’s home, security, and future on the stability of someone else’s emotions, that’s a high risk move. From experience, it’s a risk that can gut you before you even know you’re in trouble.

When emotions run the show, logic doesn’t stand a chance. A man’s house is too much to stake on feelings that can change overnight.

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

If I were y’all, I’d just move closer like you’re doing, and stay committed without doing the marriage thing. You don’t have to marry to be together. I work with a lady who’s been with her dude for 30 years without getting married.

I get your point about not needing marriage, but for me it’s even simpler, I don’t bother with dating at all. I’ve been through enough to know women can be a distraction and a liability. Single life is peaceful. No drama, no risk, no bending over backwards just to end up blindsided later. I’ve got my career, my routine, and my freedom. That’s all I need.

The biggest mistake men make is thinking they have to be with someone. They don’t. Peace beats paperwork every time.

Originally Posted by Cheerio

Having watched too much Judge Judy over the years, I can say getting married is better than not when it comes to eventually possibly breaking up.

I’ve been divorced twice. Marriage doesn’t protect men, it drains them. Women file most divorces, and the courts lean their way. Assets, alimony, and a man’s peace of mind go right out the window. So no, staying unmarried is better for the guy, hands down. At least he keeps what’s his without the state getting involved.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

LOL I was just trying to get clarity on why that makes sense. I just notice patterns how chicks will make decisions in relationships where they end up with the upper hand. It’s just a pattern I’ve observed even in when they choose a partner. Most dudes seem to fall for the same okey-doke every time.

I haven’t heard very positive things about him. He’s given some negative commentary in the past about George Floyd that I didn’t like. He isn’t any more Christian than the Klan and David Duke claim to be.

Yep. He’s part of the MAGA movement and I know what that’s about. Following Trump while claiming Christ is like eating McDonald’s every day and bragging about clean living.

Originally Posted by Zach

I think Phrozen’s on to something here, and I say that as someone who’s lived through it twice. One of the things I’ve learned is that when women detach emotionally, they’re already halfway gone. You usually don’t see it coming because on the surface, everything seems fine. But once that emotional switch flips, it’s over, she’s not working her way back, she’s working her way out. That’s why the stats are what they are. Women file for the majority of divorces, and it’s not usually because of abuse, it’s because they weren’t happy.

And that’s the scary part. You can be faithful, help with bills, do everything you think is right, and still wake up one day blindsided by papers you didn’t expect. To gamble a man’s home, security, and future on the stability of someone else’s emotions, that’s a high risk move. From experience, it’s a risk that can gut you before you even know you’re in trouble.

You’ve lived divorce twice, and I’m sorry you had to go through that, honestly. But the fact you’ve been divorced twice doesn’t make you the authority on women, it just makes you the authority on the two you chose.

[Zach]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

You’ve lived divorce twice, and I’m sorry you had to go through that, honestly. But the fact you’ve been divorced twice doesn’t make you the authority on women, it just makes you the authority on the two you chose.

My divorces don’t make me the authority on women but they make me the authority on what happens when things fall apart. And the truth is, I’m not alone. The majority of divorces are filed by women, and it’s usually not because of abuse or betrayal, it’s because they weren’t happy anymore. That’s not just my story, it’s a trend. With women, “I do” can quickly turn into “I’m done.” That’s not just my story either, that’s the pattern. I’ve lived it, I’ve studied it, and I’ve watched it happen to countless men. You don’t need a theory when you’ve seen the reality up close.

[bevinpiphi]

Originally Posted by Zach

My divorces don’t make me the authority on women but they make me the authority on what happens when things fall apart. And the truth is, I’m not alone. The majority of divorces are filed by women, and it’s usually not because of abuse or betrayal, it’s because they weren’t happy anymore. That’s not just my story, it’s a trend. With women, “I do” can quickly turn into “I’m done.” That’s not just my story either, that’s the pattern. I’ve lived it, I’ve studied it, and I’ve watched it happen to countless men. You don’t need a theory when you’ve seen the reality up close.

What do you think turns women from "I do" to "I'm done", because in my observations, it's the actions or nonactions of the men that push them to "I'm done"

[agzg]

Originally Posted by bevinpiphi

What do you think turns women from "I do" to "I'm done", because in my observations, it's the actions or nonactions of the men that push them to "I'm done"

It's giving "she left me out of nowhere!!" when he hasn't washed his own clothes in a decade and still can't put his fucking socks in the hamper.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Did you see how dude was treating it? He was acting like it was a Ferrari or something. All proud, barely drives it, like it’s made of gold. If I was Jay, I’d take that thing straight to McDonald’s, fries in the seat, nuggets in the cup holder, barbecue sauce on the console. And since I don’t know shit about cars, I’d be driving like, So how much did this set your uncle back? Fifteen hundred? What you think you’ll get on a trade-in, maybe two grand if sales dude at the dealer feels generous?

Then when he starts trippin, I’d be leaned up against it drinking a beer like, Brooo… this is an old ass Grand Prix. This is a family car your auntie drove to church. Stop treating it like a Bugatti. Chill, bro.

So…. I watched some of that video to see what you guys are talking about. It looks like it has a beak, like a parrot on wheels. He mentioned his wife, so if I was his wife and he was dropping me off at work in it, I’d tell him to just drop me off a block away, and I’ll walk. I mean, I’m not about to be seen climbing out of a car that looks like it should be squawking at people. Call it a classic if you want, to me it’s just… like… an old car with a beak? I didn’t get what was so special about it or why it was even on the show. I’m like, really? Why? Just why? I hope Jay didn’t pay that guy. Honestly, I could’ve gone my whole life without ever seeing that car.

Originally Posted by Zach

My divorces don’t make me the authority on women but they make me the authority on what happens when things fall apart. And the truth is, I’m not alone. The majority of divorces are filed by women, and it’s usually not because of abuse or betrayal, it’s because they weren’t happy anymore. That’s not just my story, it’s a trend. With women, “I do” can quickly turn into “I’m done.” That’s not just my story either, that’s the pattern. I’ve lived it, I’ve studied it, and I’ve watched it happen to countless men. You don’t need a theory when you’ve seen the reality up close.

Zach, women don’t just detach for sport. The kind of women you picked clearly didn’t take their vows seriously from the start. That’s not universal, that’s personal. The vows meant something to you, but you gave them to women who didn’t value them the same way. That’s not all women, that’s two bad investments you signed off on.

And you keep framing it like detachment is some mystery that sneaks up on men, but let’s be honest, the women you chose probably showed you who they were long before you married them. What you see in dating and courtship is what you will see married. Their past experiences should have also meant something to you. The problem is you just thought vows would fix what the red flags already showed you. That’s not about women being unpredictable, that’s about you ignoring what was in plain sight.

And another thing too is not every woman who says their vows means covenant. Some mean contract. And if you hand covenant vows to a contract-minded person, it’s always going to end the same way. That’s not proof that marriage is broken, that’s proof that discernment matters more than romance.

And then you’re like “women detach”, and that it’s a pattern. But you kept choosing women who detach. That’s not a female instinct, that’s your dating pool and a pattern on your end. You keep fishing in the same pond and then blaming the water for being muddy, lol. At some point you need to study what kind of patterns you saw before you married them.

Divorce doesn’t just prove women can leave, it proves men and women can choose wrong, and in your case.. Twice.

[cheerfulgreek]

WIFLSRN: Today is my daughter’s birthday. She’s 9.

So, this morning when I was taking my kids to school, she’s like… “Mom, can I cancel my birthday party? I don’t feel like being bothered with that many kids.” I’m like, what? lol. You said that like you’re not a kid yourself. You can’t just go canceling something you originally wanted. Her party is tomorrow so I took off work today so I can get everything she needs for it. I was glad she said that though because that’s telling me she just wants a simple birthday with her family. Next year, that will be awesome if she decides no birthday party, lol. Less work for her parents to do.

[Phrozen Sands]

https://www.bet.com/article/8ho9f7/m...g-escorted-out

I don’t understand their reasoning for doing this mess at an HBCU.

[Zach]

I’m reading that Sean Combs got more than four years in prison. I laughed at the judge’s comment as if he’s saying the right thing. When a judge says he’s sending a message to abusers and victims alike, that’s just symbolic language. It sounds powerful, but it usually just means the court wants good optics. The reality is, the justice system doesn’t operate by moral consistency, it operates by visibility and pressure. Combs got sentenced because there was video, outrage, and headlines. But we’ve seen people with equal or greater power, like politicians and executives dodge real accountability completely.

And that’s the part people forget. Courts react more to public demand than to moral principle. The law is supposed to be blind, but in practice, it’s more aware of fame, wealth, and race than some people are too naive to see.