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I don't really think you bashed your alumnae unless I missed something somewhere. If they are truly the cause of the bad blood, then it is what it is and you have to start somewhere to improve relations. It can be done, but as the others said it will take time.
Have you considered having a joint social? If you have a good relationship with a sorority that has good relationship with them, then add a another fraternity. You can also ask them to do a philanthropy with you and split the profit 50/50. Perhaps raising money for their phil is a weakness, your chapter can be their strength. You just better make sure your chapter SHOWS UP!
Be slow, strategic, and deliberate. It will work after a while.
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