How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[bakd]

Originally Posted by ComradesTrue

Because what is true? That [insert sorority here] doesn't value the legacy relationship?

My experience is that all organizations, including the aforementioned ADPi, value that relationship. However, when 150 legacies are going through recruitment and quota will be in the 60s, what does the 1980s generation recommend that their chapters do?

And please don't interpret this a generation bash. I pledged in 1992, so right on the heels on these moms. Their membership is certainly valued.

My organization has been shouting from the treetops about the legacy number quandary. However, my first-hand experience has been that the moms who protest the most are the ones who have been least involved in their organization for the past 10-15 years. I cast no judgment on their lack of involvement- we women can only do so much- but to not be involved and THEN bash the current ways that things are done is quite disrespectful and uninformed.

I think that if the national organizations would release some actual stats about how many legacies went through, etc. many alumna could come to grips with those facts. As it is, the numbers are never named, they only say that "at some larger campuses the # of legacies is larger than quota..." Yet, later when we see the bid day pictures - we only see a handful of legacies. It just sounds like hooey.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by bakd

I think that if the national organizations would release some actual stats about how many legacies went through, etc. many alumna could come to grips with those facts. As it is, the numbers are never named, they only say that "at some larger campuses the # of legacies is larger than quota..." Yet, later when we see the bid day pictures - we only see a handful of legacies. It just sounds like hooey.

It's true. Which is why they cannot take all of them. If Q is 60 and and you have 70 legacies, then take all legacies, you get, well, a class of legacies. And the 10 left over would still cry foul.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by bakd

I think that if the national organizations would release some actual stats about how many legacies went through, etc. many alumna could come to grips with those facts. As it is, the numbers are never named, they only say that "at some larger campuses the # of legacies is larger than quota..." Yet, later when we see the bid day pictures - we only see a handful of legacies. It just sounds like hooey.

I don't have stats, but what would you like the chapters to do? Take every single legacy regardless of whether or not they fit or make the membership requirements? If you'd rather alumnae and moms do the membership selection than the collegiate actives, I think you need to check your priorities.

[bakd]

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

I don't have stats, but what would you like the chapters to do? Take every single legacy regardless of whether or not they fit or make the membership requirements? If you'd rather alumnae and moms do the membership selection than the collegiate actives, I think you need to check your priorities.

I think that the actives should take MOST of the qualified legacies. Simple. If they want to set a limit and rank them, fine, but I think those statistics should be released.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by bakd

I think that the actives should take MOST of the qualified legacies. Simple. If they want to set a limit and rank them, fine, but I think those statistics should be released.

This is delving into membership selection, which as you said you were a member of a sorority and should know, is private and NOTHING leaves the selection process room. It would make no sense for any nationals to set up a system to make a cut off or to publish because A) recruitment around the nation is so widely variant that it would be beyond foolish and B) membership selection is based on the chapter, not nationals, and is always private.

Sorry your daughter's recruitment didn't work out, but there is no way you could (or probably should) know why they cut her. Perhaps they just didn't like your daughter and it had nothing to do with her legacy status. Maybe if she has friends in the chapter now that some of the seniors who have graduated had something against her. Perhaps she didn't make a great impression during recruitment because she was tired during that round. There are too many variables to just base it off of legacy status.

[bakd]

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

This is delving into membership selection, which as you said you were a member of a sorority and should know, is private and NOTHING leaves the selection process room. It would make no sense for any nationals to set up a system to make a cut off or to publish because A) recruitment around the nation is so widely variant that it would be beyond foolish and B) membership selection is based on the chapter, not nationals, and is always private.

Sorry your daughter's recruitment didn't work out, but there is no way you could (or probably should) know why they cut her. Perhaps they just didn't like your daughter and it had nothing to do with her legacy status. Maybe if she has friends in the chapter now that some of the seniors who have graduated had something against her. Perhaps she didn't make a great impression during recruitment because she was tired during that round. There are too many variables to just base it off of legacy status.

All I said was that she may have stood a better chance if she did not disclose her legacy status. Of course, there is no way to know, but she did otherwise have a perfect rush and went to a house that was equal or superior in the "rankings" (if one cares about those).

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by bakd

I think that the actives should take MOST of the qualified legacies. Simple. If they want to set a limit and rank them, fine, but I think those statistics should be released.

And by this logic your dd would have been cut by every single other chapter on campus so that *they* could also have a pledge class of nothing but legacies. Including the one that even you say she loves.

Please, for the sake of your daughter, chin up and let this pass. She is happy. Be happy for her. She is going to get all the same experiences that you had, just in a different colored t-shirt.

[bakd]

Originally Posted by ComradesTrue

And by this logic your dd would have been cut by every single other chapter on campus so that *they* could also have a pledge class of nothing but legacies. Including the one that even you say she loves.

Please, for the sake of your daughter, chin up and let this pass. She is happy. Be happy for her. She is going to get all the same experiences that you had, just in a different colored t-shirt.

What hurt the most was not being able to go to her initiation. Nor is she my sister. THAT can't be made up for, can it?

My chin is up. I have just been relating our story otherwise things are great.

[DaffyKD]

I go crazy when I read about mothers who only want their snowflake to pledge their group and refuse to pay for any other. Each of us chose our chapters because we felt they were the right choice on THAT campus at THAT time. We each looked at the women who were currently active and based our decision on THOSE women. Our daughters are going through recruitment at a different time, often on different campuses and unless something is very very wrong, none of the women who were in the chapter when we joined are currently doing the recruiting.

I joined in the early '70's when chapters were closing faster than you could say "boo." My pledge class was extremely small by today's standards-- 14. The year after I joined we had a HUGE pledge class-- 22. In those days there was no problem taking a legacy at our school as 1) there were very few rushing and 2) we had plenty of room. Today with pledge classes often over 100 and over 200 legacies going through recruitment there has to be cuts. Those of us who are alumna members are not sitting in on the current membership selection meetings. We had our opportunity. I think it is MUCH tougher on the active members today because of the numbers going through recruitment and the number of helicopter moms who are hovering over not only their own daughters but the current chapter members.

In the end, I did not have to worry about my daughter being cut from Kappa Delta because she did not go through recruitment. Several KDs were good friends of my daughter and had no idea that her mother was a KD. They were attempting to get her to join through COB because they wanted HER not because she was a legacy. I found this out the year after she graduated when I met up with one of these young ladies at convention.

DaffyKD

[bakd]

Originally Posted by DaffyKD

I go crazy when I read about mothers who only want their snowflake to pledge their group and refuse to pay for any other. Each of us chose our chapters because we felt they were the right choice on THAT campus at THAT time. We each looked at the women who were currently active and based our decision on THOSE women. Our daughters are going through recruitment at a different time, often on different campuses and unless something is very very wrong, none of the women who were in the chapter when we joined are currently doing the recruiting.

I joined in the early '70's when chapters were closing faster than you could say "boo." My pledge class was extremely small by today's standards-- 14. The year after I joined we had a HUGE pledge class-- 22. In those days there was no problem taking a legacy at our school as 1) there were very few rushing and 2) we had plenty of room. Today with pledge classes often over 100 and over 200 legacies going through recruitment there has to be cuts. Those of us who are alumna members are not sitting in on the current membership selection meetings. We had our opportunity. I think it is MUCH tougher on the active members today because of the numbers going through recruitment and the number of helicopter moms who are hovering over not only their own daughters but the current chapter members.

In the end, I did not have to worry about my daughter being cut from Kappa Delta because she did not go through recruitment. Several KDs were good friends of my daughter and had no idea that her mother was a KD. They were attempting to get her to join through COB because they wanted HER not because she was a legacy. I found this out the year after she graduated when I met up with one of these young ladies at convention.

DaffyKD

The fact that you refer to my legacy daughter as a "snowflake" rather proves my point doesn't it?

[33girl]

You know, it's always nice when someone comes along and posts in a thread and totally validates its purpose. It's kind of like when you have a car accident and you're kind of happy in a way that it happened since you spent all that money on insurance.

[ColdInCanada11]

Originally Posted by bakd

I think that the actives should take MOST of the qualified legacies. Simple. If they want to set a limit and rank them, fine, but I think those statistics should be released.

So for women like myself who are not legacies, PNMs should just hope that there aren't too many legacies going through recruitment, and if there is, they are out of luck?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by bakd

I think that the actives should take MOST of the qualified legacies. Simple. If they want to set a limit and rank them, fine, but I think those statistics should be released.

Have you suggested this to your HQ?

[bakd]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Have you suggested this to your HQ?

Yes, in a roundabout way.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by bakd

Yes, in a roundabout way.

And how did they respond?