How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[Nanners52674]

Originally Posted by bakd

Or could it possibly be because it is true, and they have some perspective on that fact.

Remember, many of these current alumna moms are from roughly the years 1980 - 1986 and they virtually "saved" the Greek system.

Chapters during that time frame were closing right and left, and the popularity that the sororities have now is a direct result of the efforts of that annoying alumna from 30 years ago.

[bakd]

Originally Posted by Nanners52674

Really, an eyeroll?

Why are legacies seen as the enemy? I just don't get it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by bakd

Really, an eyeroll?

Why are legacies seen as the enemy? I just don't get it.

Where on EARTH did you get that?

Sorority members want to give legacies a good look and hope that they'll find someone who would be a good sister, and if not, they hope she'll find a loving sorority home with another group. In huge rushes, it is hard to give ANYONE as much time as you want. Giving a legacy "extra time" may amount to 10 minutes of extra time. It sucks, but the only other way to do it would be to make rush last for a semester. Focusing only on legacies and not paying attention to any of the other rushees isn't fair to anyone.

The eyeroll is for those moms who feel their daughters are ENTITLED to membership, even if they are a horrible fit for the chapter, even if the daughter herself would be miserable in the chapter.

[ChioLu]

Originally Posted by bakd

I think that the actives should take MOST of the qualified legacies. Simple. If they want to set a limit and rank them, fine, but I think those statistics should be released.

There are many reasons a inter/national HQ wouldn't (or couldn't) put a quota on the # of legacies each chapter had to pledge. Talk about chapters resenting their headquarters! It would be a nightmare for HQ dealing with chapters going "rogue"!

Of the 7 women in my family who went Greek, only 2 are in the same sorority. I am happy my legacy houses didn't continue inviting me back due to legacy status -- I LOVE WHERE I LANDED. It would have been confusing (during a stressful recruitment): Do I go where my heart leads me or do should I be an XYZ because my [insert relative] was in the same house?

You said your daughter is happy where she is.
Excellent.
That's the outcome you should hope for no matter what sorority she is in.

And remember, your future grandaughter will be a legacy of 2 GLOs.

[bakd]

Originally Posted by ChioLu

There are many reasons a inter/national HQ wouldn't (or couldn't) put a quota on the # of legacies each chapter had to pledge. Talk about chapters resenting their headquarters! It would be a nightmare for HQ dealing with chapters going "rogue"!

Of the 7 women in my family who went Greek, only 2 are in the same sorority. I am happy my legacy houses didn't continue inviting me back due to legacy status -- I LOVE WHERE I LANDED. It would have been confusing (during a stressful recruitment): Do I go where my heart leads me or do should I be an XYZ because my [insert relative] was in the same house?

You said your daughter is happy where she is.
Excellent.
That's the outcome you should hope for no matter what sorority she is in.

And remember, your future grandaughter will be a legacy of 2 GLOs.

I'll put it another way:

Have you ever known of a case where a national officer of any sorority has had a daughter that joined any house other than her own? I only know of one from many years ago and that is because the daughter went to a university for a specific academic program, and the school did not offer a chapter of that sorority. She joined her paternal grandmother's house. What is sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander.

Why should other alumna be bullied into feeling that they are selfish if they want their legacy in their sorority? (Presuming the daughter wants to be there, too.)

[ADqtPiMel]

Originally Posted by bakd

I'll put it another way:

Have you ever known of a case where a national officer of any sorority has had a daughter that joined any house other than her own? I only know of one from many years ago and that is because the daughter went to a university for a specific academic program, and the school did not offer a chapter of that sorority. She joined her paternal grandmother's house. What is sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander.

Why should other alumna be bullied into feeling that they are selfish if they want their legacy in their sorority? (Presuming the daughter wants to be there, too.)

I think I said this somewhere upthread -- my mother is a former national officer of Kappa Alpha Theta. My grandmother and great-grandmother were also members, and my great-grandmother was a founding member at the chapter where I went through recruitment.

The Theta chapter at my campus released me. Why? I have no idea -- I had a strong recruitment otherwise and ended up in the chapter of my choice -- but I know they are a very highly desired chapter and usually have more legacies rushing than quota. My mom was upset, but she also understood that it was the active members' prerogative to do so.

I'm an international officer in my own organization now, and despite my background, I feel strongly that chapters should be able to make their own membership selection decisions within the legacy policy of the international organization. I don't want to be a part of an organization where every pledge class is made up entirely of legacies. I don't want to exclude possible members who are first generation college students; who are from a less wealthy background; who don't have the privilege of knowing the right people.