Alabama Sorority Costs...Can anyone help?

[apmgm]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Long time lurkers who don't like the culture on GC are free to not visit us here. Quite honestly, if you were long time lurkers, you'd already know what posters have told you.

For clarification, I'm not the parent of a current snowflake; my own two lovely snowflakes long ago navigated sec recruitment as did I back in the day.

I do enjoy keeping up with where the girls from my hometown pledge, and greekchat.com is an interesting diversion this time of year. Nevertheless, each year, I'm discover at least one thread that's "gone south" with regulars attacking a parent who has posted seeking advice. Now granted, the poster is often unrealistic in his or her expectations, but people often are. In real life, it seems that most of us handle such situations (when we know someone is misguided and has asked for advice) with a great deal more patience and tact than I've seen here.

The NPC and IFC organizations on many SEC campuses still have a reputation of snobbiness and within the systems, some chapters are known as the worst. I believe most of us who have been a part of this community wish this was not our reputation. Unfortunately when we present ourselves (as many on this board do) as authorities on the system and act snarkily to anyone (even each other,) we perpetuate this unfortunate reputation.

Would it be too much to ask that we perhaps remember our panhellenic - and human - spirit?


*As a sidenote, the term "snwoflake" really makes me bristle. Why should a parent NOT think his or her child is special and wonderful?? If you're about to take offense, please go back and re-read the part about unrealistic parents.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I'm having a hard time understanding why an UNDERGRADUATE major would try to prevent students from working. Architecture is as ridiculous as any major (there's a reason why they call it "architorture") and none of the schools that I've been allied with have ever tried to prevent students from working because some kids need to do so. Usually, if work is discouraged, they'll make up for it with a scholarship or a stipend.

Without knowing the OP's daughter's major, I'm guessing that holding a job is discouraged because the undergraduate degree is just the first step and grades are paramount to move forward and be accepted to a graduate program.

That being said, I find these work restrictions ridiculous because there is no such restriction for campus activities. I think my sorority involvement was way more intensive than any job I held off campus while I was a full time undergrad.

I think it is great to come from a family where parents pay for college and living expenses and sorority expenses. I didn't have that. I have student loans (and thanks to grad school I will probably have them until I die LOL) and I worked my way through undergrad to pay for living expenses, sorority dues, etc. If I wanted something, I had to pay for it. So I feel like if you want to be in a sorority and your major discourages holding a job, there are ways. You can have a summer job. You can babysit on weekends. You can get a paid internship. You can tutor. You can sell stuff on Ebay or etsy. You can work at any number of campus jobs where all you do is surf the internet and occasionally answer a phone or look up from gchatting to give someone directions.

OP is in a frustrating position, but by her accounts, she has a smart kid. And if her kid wants to make this work, I am sure she will be resourceful and find a way. I wish them both lots of luck and hope the daughter has a great experience at UA.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by apmgm

For clarification, I'm not the parent of a current snowflake; my own two lovely snowflakes long ago navigated sec recruitment as did I back in the day.

I do enjoy keeping up with where the girls from my hometown pledge, and greekchat.com is an interesting diversion this time of year. Nevertheless, each year, I'm discover at least one thread that's "gone south" with regulars attacking a parent who has posted seeking advice. Now granted, the poster is often unrealistic in his or her expectations, but people often are. In real life, it seems that most of us handle such situations (when we know someone is misguided and has asked for advice) with a great deal more patience and tact than I've seen here.

The NPC and IFC organizations on many SEC campuses still have a reputation of snobbiness and within the systems, some chapters are known as the worst. I believe most of us who have been a part of this community wish this was not our reputation. Unfortunately when we present ourselves (as many on this board do) as authorities on the system and act snarkily to anyone (even each other,) we perpetuate this unfortunate reputation.

Would it be too much to ask that we perhaps remember our panhellenic - and human - spirit?


*As a sidenote, the term "snwoflake" really makes me bristle. Why should a parent NOT think his or her child is special and wonderful?? If you're about to take offense, please go back and re-read the part about unrealistic parents.

Have you actually visited any non-Greek parenting boards or news posting boards? This is one of the most civil and helpful boards around. People are snarky. Being Greek doesn't remove that trait. Parents are some of the most judgmental people out there...God forbid you bring up breast feeding and everyone is an expert. Disagreements and differing opinions are okay and don't give Greeks a bad name. We aren't automatons or clones. Sometimes people get their feathers ruffled because they expect every single poster to validate their opinion or pat them on the head, but that's not life...and maybe they need to see the other side of the issue. If they don't accept that opinion, then move on. It's just the opinion of an anonymous person on a message board anyway. Do you really need Titchou to validate your decisions as a parent?

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Do you really need Titchou to validate your decisions as a parent?

And now, I have a new signature! Thanks!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

And now, I have a new signature! Thanks!

Awww...you made my day.

[apmgm]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

And now, I have a new signature! Thanks!

^^^^this^^^^might just actually soften some of the sarcasm - or at least help the recipient put it in perspective!!

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Awww...you made my day.

Get on the road, girl! We're waiting!!

IMO the original post and a follow up contained some statements which resulted in strong responses; IMO I didn't see snarkiness. I saw people posting their opinions. FWIW, if you don't like what someone wrote/writes, put them on ignore. Works for me. And, judicious editing can avert a lot of sidebar convos.

I'm with HQWest, pinapple, et al: the cost issue is going to become more and more paramount. I think we should publish at least last year's costs so that PNMs and parents have at least an idea BEFORE they plunk down $ and go through recruitment. That is my opinion and in no way reflects my organization's policy! Got it?

[adpiucf]

The best we can hope for is that OP and others put UA on blast and this leads to greater transparency in the future.

[apmgm]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

People are snarky.

In the words of dear old mama (mine and probably yours too),
"Just because everybody else is doing it, that doesn't make it right."

My overall greek experience has been one of my best, and I hope it works out for this young woman. Making her mother feel bad because she is worried about the unpredictable costs didn't help matters. Good luck to you and your daughter OP.

I'll shut up now and go back to lurking.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by apmgm

*As a sidenote, the term "snwoflake" really makes me bristle. Why should a parent NOT think his or her child is special and wonderful?? If you're about to take offense, please go back and re-read the part about unrealistic parents.

No, of course a parent should think that of their own children! It's when parents expect OTHERS to think the same thing. I love my children with all my heart. They are special and wonderful to me. I do not expect others to feel the same way.

Originally Posted by adpiucf

That being said, I find these work restrictions ridiculous because there is no such restriction for campus activities. I think my sorority involvement was way more intensive than any job I held off campus while I was a full time undergrad.

I think it is great to come from a family where parents pay for college and living expenses and sorority expenses. I didn't have that. I have student loans (and thanks to grad school I will probably have them until I die LOL) and I worked my way through undergrad to pay for living expenses, sorority dues, etc. If I wanted something, I had to pay for it. So I feel like if you want to be in a sorority and your major discourages holding a job, there are ways. You can have a summer job. You can babysit on weekends. You can get a paid internship. You can tutor. You can sell stuff on Ebay or etsy. You can work at any number of campus jobs where all you do is surf the internet and occasionally answer a phone or look up from gchatting to give someone directions.

OP is in a frustrating position, but by her accounts, she has a smart kid. And if her kid wants to make this work, I am sure she will be resourceful and find a way. I wish them both lots of luck and hope the daughter has a great experience at UA.

Completely agree. This could have come right from my mouth.

Originally Posted by pinapple

I think the bottom line here is that parents and students deserve to know what the financial liabilities of any organization are before they choose to join. And for recruitment, that means before they even have to pay their $100-$200 registration fee.

Absofreakinglutely.

Originally Posted by apmgm

My overall greek experience has been one of my best, and I hope it works out for this young woman. Making her mother feel bad because she is worried about the unpredictable costs didn't help matters. Good luck to you and your daughter OP.

Well said.