Alabama Sorority Costs...Can anyone help?

[pinapple]

As much as this thread has gotten way off track, I think the bottom line here is that parents and students deserve to know what the financial liabilities of any organization are before they choose to join. And for recruitment, that means before they even have to pay their $100-$200 registration fee. I enjoyed looking at the PDF form FSU has and how forthcoming they were about what the fees are and more importantly what they cover. I understand that it can cause some issues of girls not wanting to pledge ABC because they have the highest fees, but isn't that how we as adults, make informed decisions? None of us would go to a car lot and just pick a car without knowing what it cost, what that money buys and how much the insurance would be.

I think the OP in this case had an extremely valid point. She went by what Panhellenic said was average. We all know average is just that, but does anyone think "average" and double it? I know I don't. She also was exhibiting frustration at the veiled process. I don't think she failed to research this situation, I think the information is simply not publicly available.

And about Moms. We all have them. Most people here are either a mom or will be one day. We really have no insight on anyone else's lives but our own. Each of our experiences are different and therefore we can only judge ourselves. I have a very tight bond with my mom. I expect her to go to bat for me and I expect her to rein me in (even as an adult) when she sees that I am going rogue. Daughters are half of their mothers. Asking moms and daughters to separate emotionally durning a very stressful period in both their lives is just not rational. Yes, some moms can just say "you are an adult, have a nice life" but I believe that is very rare. Or perhaps I am not drawn socially to other women who have a discarded relationship with their moms. There is no one in my social circle that does not have an wonderfully close bond with their mothers. (although I do have friends who have lost their moms, but they remain bonded to them) I would not want it any other way. But maybe it is not for everyone. That I can respect.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Do you really need Titchou to validate your decisions as a parent?

And now, I have a new signature! Thanks!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by pinapple

As much as this thread has gotten way off track, I think the bottom line here is that parents and students deserve to know what the financial liabilities of any organization are before they choose to join. And for recruitment, that means before they even have to pay their $100-$200 registration fee. I enjoyed looking at the PDF form FSU has and how forthcoming they were about what the fees are and more importantly what they cover. I understand that it can cause some issues of girls not wanting to pledge ABC because they have the highest fees, but isn't that how we as adults, make informed decisions? None of us would go to a car lot and just pick a car without knowing what it cost, what that money buys and how much the insurance would be.

I think the OP in this case had an extremely valid point. She went by what Panhellenic said was average. We all know average is just that, but does anyone think "average" and double it? I know I don't. She also was exhibiting frustration at the veiled process. I don't think she failed to research this situation, I think the information is simply not publicly available.

And about Moms. We all have them. Most people here are either a mom or will be one day. We really have no insight on anyone else's lives but our own. Each of our experiences are different and therefore we can only judge ourselves. I have a very tight bond with my mom. I expect her to go to bat for me and I expect her to rein me in (even as an adult) when she sees that I am going rogue. Daughters are half of their mothers. Asking moms and daughters to separate emotionally durning a very stressful period in both their lives is just not rational. Yes, some moms can just say "you are an adult, have a nice life" but I believe that is very rare. Or perhaps I am not drawn socially to other women who have a discarded relationship with their moms. There is no one in my social circle that does not have an wonderfully close bond with their mothers. (although I do have friends who have lost their moms, but they remain bonded to them) I would not want it any other way. But maybe it is not for everyone. That I can respect.

I agree about the cost issue. Apparently it hasn't effected recruiting so the chapters haven't been forced to do anything about it. Isn't that how capitalism works? We were always forced to hand out a copy of our dues statement during rush when I was a collegiate member. I'm surprised they don't have to do the same. At less competitive recruitments, cost becomes a big issue for competitiveness of a chapter. When HQ raises dues, it can price a chapter out of competition. Women will reject a group based on dues. At Bama, it's more of a chapter weighted recruitment. If you have every group wanting you back, you may get a choice, but with so many women being released, it's pretty willy nilly. Your grateful for what you get. If you can't afford the most expensive chapter, you may want to think about not going through recruitment.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

And now, I have a new signature! Thanks!

Awww...you made my day.

[apmgm]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

And now, I have a new signature! Thanks!

^^^^this^^^^might just actually soften some of the sarcasm - or at least help the recipient put it in perspective!!

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Awww...you made my day.

Get on the road, girl! We're waiting!!

IMO the original post and a follow up contained some statements which resulted in strong responses; IMO I didn't see snarkiness. I saw people posting their opinions. FWIW, if you don't like what someone wrote/writes, put them on ignore. Works for me. And, judicious editing can avert a lot of sidebar convos.

I'm with HQWest, pinapple, et al: the cost issue is going to become more and more paramount. I think we should publish at least last year's costs so that PNMs and parents have at least an idea BEFORE they plunk down $ and go through recruitment. That is my opinion and in no way reflects my organization's policy! Got it?

[adpiucf]

The best we can hope for is that OP and others put UA on blast and this leads to greater transparency in the future.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

A lot of it has to do with the fact that most of the "regulars" have been on here for at least a few recruitments, and the same questions come up over and over and over. (This is one, as well as the timeless "black girl in an NPC" discussion.) Some of us get kind of annoyed by it and some people express their annoyance in different ways.

Seems to me the polite thing to do is to ignore those posts one doesn't want to answer (again).

[agzg]

If they didn't want to publish specific groups, they could at least be more explicit than "average." Give parents a bell curve, or even just mean, varience, and standard deviation. Unfortunately lots of people might assume that one can "try for" the less expensive groups, which isn't the reality.

Unfortunately, I don't think there's much the OP can do now. And given the nature of recruitment at Bama and elsewhere, one really shouldn't start unless they're sure they can pay for the maximum.

[apmgm]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

People are snarky.

In the words of dear old mama (mine and probably yours too),
"Just because everybody else is doing it, that doesn't make it right."

My overall greek experience has been one of my best, and I hope it works out for this young woman. Making her mother feel bad because she is worried about the unpredictable costs didn't help matters. Good luck to you and your daughter OP.

I'll shut up now and go back to lurking.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by apmgm

*As a sidenote, the term "snwoflake" really makes me bristle. Why should a parent NOT think his or her child is special and wonderful?? If you're about to take offense, please go back and re-read the part about unrealistic parents.

No, of course a parent should think that of their own children! It's when parents expect OTHERS to think the same thing. I love my children with all my heart. They are special and wonderful to me. I do not expect others to feel the same way.

Originally Posted by adpiucf

That being said, I find these work restrictions ridiculous because there is no such restriction for campus activities. I think my sorority involvement was way more intensive than any job I held off campus while I was a full time undergrad.

I think it is great to come from a family where parents pay for college and living expenses and sorority expenses. I didn't have that. I have student loans (and thanks to grad school I will probably have them until I die LOL) and I worked my way through undergrad to pay for living expenses, sorority dues, etc. If I wanted something, I had to pay for it. So I feel like if you want to be in a sorority and your major discourages holding a job, there are ways. You can have a summer job. You can babysit on weekends. You can get a paid internship. You can tutor. You can sell stuff on Ebay or etsy. You can work at any number of campus jobs where all you do is surf the internet and occasionally answer a phone or look up from gchatting to give someone directions.

OP is in a frustrating position, but by her accounts, she has a smart kid. And if her kid wants to make this work, I am sure she will be resourceful and find a way. I wish them both lots of luck and hope the daughter has a great experience at UA.

Completely agree. This could have come right from my mouth.

Originally Posted by pinapple

I think the bottom line here is that parents and students deserve to know what the financial liabilities of any organization are before they choose to join. And for recruitment, that means before they even have to pay their $100-$200 registration fee.

Absofreakinglutely.

Originally Posted by apmgm

My overall greek experience has been one of my best, and I hope it works out for this young woman. Making her mother feel bad because she is worried about the unpredictable costs didn't help matters. Good luck to you and your daughter OP.

Well said.

[Titchou]

I do not advise at FSU but see an error in my group's listing of what's included. So I wouldn't place absolute faith in this printed information either.

And to the poster who brought up 35 year old GOSSIP about my chapter, that's stooping pretty low to just say you didn't like what I said to the OP about doing whatever she had to do to pay the freight. It's people like you who contribute to a bad atmosphere for any challenged chapter. How you can think that gossip form that long ago is relevant to anything today is beyond me.

And to those of you who think I was harsh, harsh doesn't mean wrong. Harsh is a dose of reality to a parent to came here expecting us to do be able to correct something over which we have no control. No, I don't know her personal situation. But I know she has 4 children which she intends to put thru college - by her admission. So, she's not exactly on poverty row. Will it be hard, probably. But she has stated that as what she plans to do. Other people tell their children they will not pay for any college and the child has to do it themselves. Some will only pay tuition, room and board. That's a personal decision. Some people say "here's $xxxxx" spend it however you want on college." You do what you can do. And if a suggestion to find a way to pay for it (which is all the "give up your lattes" remark was) is off base then I wonder where my baby boomer generation went astray with their children.

[AUmom2012]

After this discussion, does anyone know what the OP's daughter pledged?

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by AUmom2012

After this discussion, does anyone know if the OP's daughter pledged?

Fixed that for you.

[AUmom2012]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

Fixed that for you.

Oh dang....I forgot I was on the English Teacher's forum. First, I get corrected for using 'dau' and now fixing my previous post.

What I meant to say was.....
After this discussion, does anyone know what (sorority) the OP's daughter pledged?

Most forums I frequent enjoy light banter and fun exchanges...well except for this one.