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Originally Posted by BluPhire
Whatever you are comfortable with. There is no right answer. Joint works for some marriages, separate works for others. That's one of those dealbreakers that needs to be discussed before saying I do.
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This is pretty much what it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil
Both.
Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.
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I like the idea of having two accounts, but I'd rather "divy up" the whole thing. She has her account and I have mine. I also believe in splitting up the bills. I pay half of the bills and she pays the other half. I could see later opening up a savings if we had kids, but I'd rather do two separate accounts because bills and other expenses can be handled that way, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphaFrog
All our money goes in the same pot, but all our accounts are in my name. Husband is stereotypical Latino that doesn't like banks. He's got a credit card, but prefers to use cash for everything anyway.
Our finances work just fine because he feels like I make more, so I should be able to spend more, and I just consider it all "our money". This will get interesting when I'm in school and have ZERO income for 9 months. At least our living expense money is coming from the equity in the house which is in my name, so I'll feel like I'm contributing...maybe?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek
Joint only -two accounts, a savings and a checking, but both accounts will be joint accounts.
Premarital counseling is important, but I just think that it’s much more to it than that. A lot of couples do seek counsel, but the bottom line -a lot will depend on aligning with the right partner in the right way at the right time if it’s going to work. I just think it’s important choosing someone who is like me, yet different –being the same in his inner core but different in function. Temperaments and occupations can be different, but our values need to be as similar as possible. Opposites attract, but in most cases, they cannot maintain a long-term connection because they are not really compatible, even if they seem to agree on things when meeting with a counselor. In order for that marriage to be secure, whether you choose a joint account or individual accounts, you (in general) and your partner must operate from the same platform. You can find that out simply by letting time do its work, because the personality that was hidden from you before eventually comes to the forefront. I’d rather wait to see those things before I even make it to premarital counseling. But that’s just me.
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As I was reading about this topic, I found all the comments to be interesting, but they all were saying the same thing except you two. I think these comments were cool back in the day and worked for people back then, but the world is different now. Both women and men are working, and more women are doing better than men financially now, so I think it's natural for both men and women to have their own just incase. It doesn't mean they don't trust each other, and it doesn't mean their marriage is going to fail, it's just a safety net because like the saying goes "shit happens" LOL. I laughing but it's true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphaFrog
I know I'm going to sound all fuddy-duddy bemoaning the downfall of today's society, but I can't help but think that issues like this make divorce more common. Not just the actual financial issues, but the fact that we have trained ourselves to CYA in regards to marriage. We go in with contingency plans and ready to bail if we feel it necessary. We make it easy because then if things don't work out, we can shrug our shoulders and move on. What would happen if people once again treated marriage of less of an experiment and more of a serious commitment? I feel that if you're seriously ready to make that kind of commitment to someone, you should be ready to tie yourselves irrevocably to that person. And this is coming from someone who many people would feel has had plenty of legitimate "excuses" to throw in the towel and not look back.
/soapbox sermon
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You're still two individual people so you might go in thinking "I'm not going to bail" but how do you know he isn't going to do in with that attitude? Why do you think people get prenups? It's a safety measure. I see what you and Cheerful Greek are saying, but we don't live in that kind of society anymore. If that's working for y'all then I'm all for you doing what works for you, I just don't see that as covering yourself very well.
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