Joint account or separate account

[DrPhil]

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

[AnotherKD]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

That's what I have. After my husband and I were married, I frankly wanted to have one account, as that's what I grew up with and that's what my parents did. But, after thinking about it, of course they did, because my mom was (is) a homemaker. But my husband and I both work. I like being able to go to Saks and buy what I want without him hassling me.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

That's what I have. After my husband and I were married, I frankly wanted to have one account, as that's what I grew up with and that's what my parents did. But, after thinking about it, of course they did, because my mom was (is) a homemaker. But my husband and I both work. I like being able to go to Saks and buy what I want without him hassling me.

Indeed and couples need to agree on this before getting married.

The largest percentage of incomes go into the joint account and the rest go into the separate accounts.

My significant other and I don't need to ask each other whether we can buy/afford to buy some new shoes. And, aside from discussing our calendar of events, we don't need to ask whether we can afford to go on golf trips or vacations with friends. Individual expenses are individual expenses. But, tread lightly and keep paperwork (I'm a stickler for outlining monthly expenses) because individual expenses do not trickle down to the joint account. Don't go into debt and get all crazy to the point where your investments and monthly deposits can't cover your individual expenses.

[AOII Angel]

Single account. My husband does the money. I make most of the money. I spend money how I see fit, and he let's me know if we're getting low for the month and won't make our savings goals. It works for us. We've had a single account since we were dating (what were we thinking?) and used to fight all the time about money when we both paid bills and managed the account. I get an update now so I know where the money has gone, but not micromanaging our money has saved us tons of strife.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Single account. My husband does the money. I make most of the money. I spend money how I see fit, and he let's me know if we're getting low for the month and won't make our savings goals. It works for us. We've had a single account since we were dating (what were we thinking?) and used to fight all the time about money when we both paid bills and managed the account. I get an update now so I know where the money has gone, but not micromanaging our money has saved us tons of strife.

I commend couples for doing what works for them (meaning, both of them). I must also tip my Feminist Hat to you for being the primary breadwinner.

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Single account. My husband does the money. I make most of the money. I spend money how I see fit, and he let's me know if we're getting low for the month and won't make our savings goals. It works for us. We've had a single account since we were dating (what were we thinking?) and used to fight all the time about money when we both paid bills and managed the account. I get an update now so I know where the money has gone, but not micromanaging our money has saved us tons of strife.

We are in a similar situation except I make most of the money and manage the finances. I couldn't trust him to pay any bills on time! It has been so much easier since we got married and decided to go to one bank account. We had separate accounts for the 7 years we were dating. Now it doesn't matter who pays for what because it all comes from the same account.

We are free to buy what ever we want up to a set limit. Anything over that limit has to be approved by both of us. It really is a check and balance with us since one day I am wanting to go spend crazy and he is in frugal mode and then the next day it switches. It works for us but I know it may not work for other people.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Mevara

We are in a similar situation except I make most of the money and manage the finances. I couldn't trust him to pay any bills on time! It has been so much easier since we got married and decided to go to one bank account. We had separate accounts for the 7 years we were dating. Now it doesn't matter who pays for what because it all comes from the same account.

We are free to buy what ever we want up to a set limit. Anything over that limit has to be approved by both of us. It really is a check and balance with us since one day I am wanting to go spend crazy and he is in frugal mode and then the next day it switches. It works for us but I know it may not work for other people.

We do this too, otherwise we might buy something and screw up the budget. I have a business account as well since I get paid as a S-corp so he's always moving money around to cover this or that. We used to pay bills separately, but that always led to something falling through the cracks or to the one trip to New Orleans during residency when we were NSF because we had both paid bills without consulting each other before heading off to vacation. That's lots of fun. Vacation and no money. Thank God for credit cards! Ten years later I think we've finally paid off that bill. LOL.

I'm with DubaisSis, as well. My money is Mr. AOII Angel's money, too. We're a team. He is timid sometimes because I do make more than him, but that's only because being a radiologist is valued more than being a pediatric endocrinologist. He actually has more education than me (except he doesn't have a HS diploma and I do.) I'd rather have family harmony than MY money.

[Jill1228]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

Yes this!

[KSUViolet06]

Putting my counselor hat on:

So many couples ignore talking about money when they're engaged (or even seriously dating.)

That's why it's important to seek some sort of premarital counseling because it forces you to talk about this stuff with a neutral party.

Ex: You're going to have a problem if you find (after marriage) that your hubby is all about having control of all money/spending decisions and handing you a $2o allowance per week when you would rather have a joint account.

There's a reason why money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Two people probably had TWO different views on money/saving/spending.

You need to know before you get married if your fiance's idea of financial security = payday loans from Cash O Rama.

[ADqtPiMel]

Married four years, I make more than he does. We have separate checking accounts and a joint savings account. He's responsible for paying the rent and his student loan payment; I cover everything else -- bills, trips, fun money, etc. He uses a credit card for small stuff (lunch at work, new clothes, etc.) that I pay off in full each month. Whatever's left over out of our checking accounts at the end of the month goes into the joint savings account.

My parents have always had separate accounts so I never really considered a joint checking account. I think it's important for everyone to have a little bit of their own money...just in case.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

My parents have always had separate accounts so I never really considered a joint checking account. I think it's important for everyone to have a little bit of their own money...just in case.

My grandma gave me this advice (she was married in the days of women not working and husbands being the sole provider): Put $20 a week aside in a jar because you never know what could happen to your husband.

I don't know about cash in a jar, but everybody needs "rainy day" money. Not necessarily because something could happen to your husband, but just because cars break down, the garbage disposal breaks, etc.

[AGDLynn]

Single checking and savings account - easier to keep up with the balance.
He does have a small savings account at his univ credit union for when he was purchasing cars. I had one but cancelled when we needed the small balance.

We keep our laundry separate; to each his/her own.

[AlphaFrog]

All our money goes in the same pot, but all our accounts are in my name. Husband is stereotypical Latino that doesn't like banks. He's got a credit card, but prefers to use cash for everything anyway.

Our finances work just fine because he feels like I make more, so I should be able to spend more, and I just consider it all "our money". This will get interesting when I'm in school and have ZERO income for 9 months. At least our living expense money is coming from the equity in the house which is in my name, so I'll feel like I'm contributing...maybe?

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

This will get interesting when I'm in school and have ZERO income for 9 months.

This is a problem most of my women friends deal with in Dubai (including me). Most of us gave up careers to move with our husbands and suddenly find ourselves being ladies of leisure. It sounds good in theory, but none of us had lives where we depended on someone else 100% for our spending money, regardless of how the bills get paid. It takes awhile to get into the swing of lunch, mani/pedis, outings, without 1-getting approval for everything and 2-feeling guilty about it. Even the ladies whose husbands make a LOT of money deal with these issues. We do eventually get over it .

[cheerfulgreek]

Joint only -two accounts, a savings and a checking, but both accounts will be joint accounts.

Premarital counseling is important, but I just think that it’s much more to it than that. A lot of couples do seek counsel, but the bottom line -a lot will depend on aligning with the right partner in the right way at the right time if it’s going to work. I just think it’s important choosing someone who is like me, yet different –being the same in his inner core but different in function. Temperaments and occupations can be different, but our values need to be as similar as possible. Opposites attract, but in most cases, they cannot maintain a long-term connection because they are not really compatible, even if they seem to agree on things when meeting with a counselor. In order for that marriage to be secure, whether you choose a joint account or individual accounts, you (in general) and your partner must operate from the same platform. You can find that out simply by letting time do its work, because the personality that was hidden from you before eventually comes to the forefront. I’d rather wait to see those things before I even make it to premarital counseling. But that’s just me.