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Originally Posted by AOII Angel
People who grew up in families that aren't perfect are worthy of love, too.
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Yep, I agree. But there's no such thing as a perfect family, though.
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel
There are also many people who grew up in terrible circumstances who go on to LEARN from those experiences and make excellent spouses.
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True. But if it's going to work, I still believe you need to be compatible with that person, regardless of what kind of family they came from.
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel
Your formula sounds good on paper but doesn't work in reality.
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It's not "my formula". I follow biblical scripture (the best way I know how to), I enjoy reading it, and it gives me great wisdom and instruction in all aspects of my life. I agree, it looks awesome on paper, but where I disagree, it does work in reality, because I've seen it work in my parents marriage, and in my pastor's. Two couples I get my advice from.
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel
I should know since I'm 9 years happily married to a man with a horrible family that he does NOT want to emulate. My husband, however, is the smartest, most loving man that I can imagine ever meeting. If I passed him up because of rules that sound like they came straight from a how to dating book, I'd be kicking myself right now.
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Absolutely, I totally agree with you. That's great you feel that way about your husband. I would hope that you do and vice versa. You've been married for 9 years, so you should know something about it. However, no one (and this includes both you and your husband) comes into this world knowing everything there is to know about relationships. In fact, I think we look more like empty computers when we are first born. No programs have been installed, pretty much, if you want to look at it that way. All we have is the capacity to record and store all the information we receive. Right or wrong, that data is stored based on our observances, and that's pretty much what makes up our programming. We live out what we retain (unless somewhere down the line we learn a better way, as you've mentioned with your husband), and to be quite honest with you, sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's not. That all depends on who you seek for advice, or who you learn it from.
Nope, I've never been married, but for those single people, who have never been married, such as myself, the secret to taking advice is actually quite plain and simple. Take advice from someone who's been successful at accomplishing what you want to accomplish, and this isn't based only on relationships. It should apply to all aspects of your life. Since we're focused on relationships here, find someone who has a successful marriage or relationship and use that person as a source of sound counsel (I don't mean "use" as in take advantage of). I'm not going to sit around with a bunch of other women who are not having success with men and expect to come away with healthy words of wisdom. I just think the quickest way to end a depressing drama is to not let it begin. Seek counsel from experienced people in your lives.
In response to your other comment, I get my information on relationships from "dating books" (plural). Mainly from Corinthians, Genesis, and Proverbs. Probably not the "dating book" you were thinking. I don't just use the bible for dating purposes though. I like to use it for all aspects of my life. So far, it's been working for me.
Congrats on 9 years of marriage. May you have many more.
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