Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphaFrog
I know I'm going to sound all fuddy-duddy bemoaning the downfall of today's society, but I can't help but think that issues like this make divorce more common. Not just the actual financial issues, but the fact that we have trained ourselves to CYA in regards to marriage. We go in with contingency plans and ready to bail if we feel it necessary. We make it easy because then if things don't work out, we can shrug our shoulders and move on. What would happen if people once again treated marriage of less of an experiment and more of a serious commitment? I feel that if you're seriously ready to make that kind of commitment to someone, you should be ready to tie yourselves irrevocably to that person. And this is coming from someone who many people would feel has had plenty of legitimate "excuses" to throw in the towel and not look back.
/soapbox sermon
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I agree w/ the sentiment behind your post. Married couples tend to argue about the trees rather than the larger philosophical forest. Rather than the money, it's usually differing (more than likely previously undiscussed) philosophies on need vs. want spending.
Of course the thread's answer is basically whatever works for the couple, but I've never been in favor of "mine vs. hers." Joint account, then individual needs are met, according to the couple's agreed upon limits about how much you're trying to save.
As to separate "rainy day" funds, let's complete the circle. I've heard lots of women say their grandmothers told them to keep one and keep konwledge of it private. Cool, but then could you, or grandma say a word if you found out hubby was doing the same thing? IMO, it's just another breeding ground for distrust. If I can't trust you, then I don't need to be married to you.
What, we can share our bodies and all that entails, but my dough gotta be separate?
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