Non-liberal hippie gay guy hoping to join a fraternity...

Shrapnel360 · #1 07-15-2011, 08:21 PM

Since I've never rushed before, I clearly don't know what information is or isn't relevant to help you all answer my question, so I don't exactly appreciate the many of you jumping at me to nitpick at my character. Nonetheless, thanks for those of you who actually answered my questions.

Also, for the record, I'm a Republican because I believe that there are far more pressing issues that have a much greater impact on my quality of life than whether I can get married or not. And I'm from Connecticut, and it's legal here, so I don't really care outside of that. That said, gay marriage is an inevitability; whether the Republicans or Democrats are in power, within the next 20 years gay marriage will be a reality in the United States.

Anyways a few more questions... As I said in the OP, I have some relatives in some very respected fraternities across the East Coast, and my late grandfather was in DKE at Yale. Would it be appropriate to name drop? Or would that be deemed passive arrogance? And, from the looks of it, most people seem to think it would be better for me to just not tell anyone that I'm gay... Is this the general consensus? As for bringing same-sex dates to events, I'm not even sure I'd feel comfortable with that. I would probably just bring a female friend with me. If I did become a member of a fraternity without anyone knowing I like men, if someone were to find out, could I be kicked out?

I apologize about the many questions and my frank long-windedness, but as I said, I've never done this before, so I do appreciate your understanding.

MysticCat · #2 07-15-2011, 08:32 PM

Seriously, I'd suggest you stop posting so much personal information here. People in the chapters you're interested in might read what you've posted -- it's quite possible -- and you've given more than enough information for them to identify you when you go through rush. So all your questions about what you should or shouldn't tell them could be moot; if they've read it here, they already know and may have already formed opinions about you before they've ever laid eyes on you.

Beyond that, and for what it's worth, my advice:

1) Stop trying to pick a fraternity based on reputations, family connections, etc.
2) Go through rush and actually meet the guys in different chapters.
3) Don't try to act like someone you're not. Be yourself and be honest with yourself about where you would fit in and who you would like to call your brothers.
4) Hope that the chapter you think you fit with best likes you for who you are and offers you a bid.

Shrapnel360 · #3 07-15-2011, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Seriously, I'd suggest you stop posting so much personal information here. People in the chapters you're interested in might read what you've posted -- it's quite possible -- and you've given more than enough information for them to identify you when you go through rush. So all your questions about what you should or shouldn't tell them could be moot; if they've read it here, they already know and may have already formed opinions about you before they've ever laid eyes on you.

Beyond that, and for what it's worth, my advice:

1) Stop trying to pick a fraternity based on reputations, family connections, etc.
2) Go through rush and actually meet the guys in different chapters.
3) Don't try to act like someone you're not. Be yourself and be honest with yourself about where you would fit in and who you would like to call your brothers.
4) Hope that the chapter you think you fit with best likes you for who you are and offers you a bid.

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. So, is name-dropping a no-no?

33girl · #4 07-15-2011, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrapnel360

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. So, is name-dropping a no-no?

No, you can say "my grandfather was a DKE at Yale." That makes you a legacy in some fraternities, and that's fine. I would definitely mention it if that's one of the fraternities you end up rushing. Don't think it guarantees you membership though, or that you'll even like that fraternity.

The no-no is how much OTHER personal info you have already posted on here.

DrPhil · #5 07-15-2011, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrapnel360

Since I've never rushed before, I clearly don't know what information is or isn't relevant to help you all answer my question, so I don't exactly appreciate the many of you jumping at me to nitpick at my character. Nonetheless, thanks for those of you who actually answered my questions.

Also, for the record, I'm a Republican because I believe that there are far more pressing issues that have a much greater impact on my quality of life than whether I can get married or not. And I'm from Connecticut, and it's legal here, so I don't really care outside of that. That said, gay marriage is an inevitability; whether the Republicans or Democrats are in power, within the next 20 years gay marriage will be a reality in the United States.

Anyways a few more questions... As I said in the OP, I have some relatives in some very respected fraternities across the East Coast, and my late grandfather was in DKE at Yale. Would it be appropriate to name drop? Or would that be deemed passive arrogance? And, from the looks of it, most people seem to think it would be better for me to just not tell anyone that I'm gay... Is this the general consensus? As for bringing same-sex dates to events, I'm not even sure I'd feel comfortable with that. I would probably just bring a female friend with me. If I did become a member of a fraternity without anyone knowing I like men, if someone were to find out, could I be kicked out?

I apologize about the many questions and my frank long-windedness, but as I said, I've never done this before, so I do appreciate your understanding.

Why you're a Republican is less important than why you felt the need to include that in your rant about how different you are than "other gays."