The Differences in Sorority & Fraternity Rush: Why?

[33girl]

DGTITY????

Quite honestly, I think a lot of fraternities wouldn't mind a kickoff event where rushees visit each group at least once - I think a lot of guys' groups get dismissed without the rushee even thinking about them. However, at some schools the amount of fraternities is so ginormous that this just isn't possible.

If achieving quota and total were eradicated as a measure of "success" for sororities, I don't think anyone would have a problem having rush in the manner you suggest. However, that has to happen first, and the Devil will be learning to ice skate before that occurs. All the groups would lose too many chapters.

Also, I've said this before: on the whole, men believe they make the fraternity. Women believe the sorority makes them. Honestly, that is just a male/female thing and you can't rewire the human brain. Even if you go to MIT.

If you do better with spring rush, that's fine. If you "edit" yourselves and pretend you're something you're not for formal rush, then that's your choice. Your national is one of the most open and accepting of going outside the campus rush style, so quite frankly I don't know what the hell you're complaining about.

[AlphaFrog]

You brought up the analogy of parenting... Moms and Dads in general have very different parenting style. With multiple children, women try to strive for fairness between sibilings...men tend toward Occam's Razor (the simplest solution). So, if you have 10 cookies to divide among 4 siblings, a mom would most likely give each child two cookies, and then make sure the last two cookies were cut in perfect halves. Unless on child doesn't want 2.5 cookies and returns one whole one to the communal jar. Then the mother will attempt to redistribute it to the other children, either as one whole cookie if only one child wants another cookie, or divided evenly between the number of children who want more cookies. A dad will say "Hey y'all...I got some cookies...who wants some?" and leave it to the kids to duke it out over them. Same thing with rush. Only we don't cut our PNMs in pieces when we have an odd amount.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Only we don't cut our PNMs in pieces when we have an odd amount.

Um, no sharing sorority secrets! HA!

[33girl]

Also, I can say FROM EXPERIENCE that the male style of rush is bad for women. On my campus, the (thankfully now ex) Greek advisor thought it was a fine idea for first semester freshmen women to go through a minimally structured rush. They went to a meet the Greeks in the gym from table to table for like 10 minutes, and I don't think they even HAD to visit each table - just where they wanted to go. There was no cutting, invites etc, just a week where sororities could hold parties (which frequently overlapped) and bids going out on a certain day. Now keep in mind this is at a school with a lot of first generation college students - it's not one of those places where women have been hearing about sorority involvement and seeing their moms go to alum meetings since birth. Most of the women had NO clue what rush was about. Well - the school now has two fewer chapters, and anti-Greek sentiment definitely is high.

Many women didn't get into the chapter they looked at, much in the same manner as LaneSig outlined. They don't take this as "the sisters of XYZ led me on and they suck," they take it as "all Greeks suck." These disappointed women don't look at other chapters, they say forget the whole system.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by 33girl

DGTITY????

Nope, but thanks for the compliment.

At most schools, the current system, yes, designed by women, treats freshmen as fungible assets. You're an extrovert with good grades who dresses well? Come on in.

But the mindset seems to be "it worked for me, why change it?"

But I've had my say. I really don't think I'm necessarily a minority of one, but probably joined by thousands who don't post here.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DGTess

But the mindset seems to be "it worked for me, why change it?"

Pot, meet kettle.

Originally Posted by DGTess

My school - 30 years ago; it's probably not permitted now - divvied up the incoming freshman women, and volunteer sorority women became pen pals for a group during the summer prior to matriculation.

Each sorority woman generally simply befriends the incoming freshmen. While it was permitted to mention sorority membership, I know my "big sis" (yes, that's what they were called) simply mentioned that she was a Delta Gamma. She went on to answer questions I had about school, what to expect, what the routine would be like for the first few weeks (we didn't have a formal orientation, either), etc.

That way, when I got to school, I had at least one friendly face.

And jeepers, what a coincidence, you joined Delta Gamma. I'm sure there were women who felt pressured to not disappoint the "one friendly face" they'd met, women who didn't click with the sister who was writing them (and dismissed the whole Greek system because of it) and women who thought this assured them a bid and were disappointed.

But hey, it worked for you, why change it.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DGTess

But I've had my say. I really don't think I'm necessarily a minority of one, but probably joined by thousands who don't post here.

And tens of thousands who disagree?

I really don't know anything about the back and forth, but claiming the support of invisible others (whether supporters in PMs or thousands who don't post) doesn't mean jack.

GC's not a controlled sample, though I'd guess it's probably unintentionally representative, at least when it comes to younger alums and current members. Regardless of whether you're a minority of "one" or "one percent" you're not exactly vindicated by your silent thousands.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

GC's not a controlled sample, though I'd guess it's probably unintentionally representative, at least when it comes to younger alums and current members. Regardless of whether you're a minority of "one" or "one percent" you're not exactly vindicated by your silent thousands.

Never said I was. I have repeatedly stated I don't like this system; I'd prefer no silence rules, deferred rush, no requirement to visit all houses, particularly in a compressed time frame, and no bid-matching. I'd allow a woman to receive as many bids as she can, and then make the choice.

I understand how - and why - it works as it does, but I don't have to like it, nor think it's the best system. I believe there are thousands of others who agree with me, yes, but it doesn't take a CMU grad to understand I'm in the minority. It no more makes me and those others (whether 1 or 1000 or 10000 or whatever - that was obviously a figure of speech) right than it makes the current system right.

And I'm obviously no more likely to convince a proponent of the big rush systems than someone is to convince me every house has to rush the same.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DGTess

Never said I was. I have repeatedly stated I don't like this system; I'd prefer no silence rules, deferred rush, no requirement to visit all houses, particularly in a compressed time frame, and no bid-matching. I'd allow a woman to receive as many bids as she can, and then make the choice.

I understand how - and why - it works as it does, but I don't have to like it, nor think it's the best system. I believe there are thousands of others who agree with me, yes, but it doesn't take a CMU grad to understand I'm in the minority. It no more makes me and those others (whether 1 or 1000 or 10000 or whatever - that was obviously a figure of speech) right than it makes the current system right.

And I'm obviously no more likely to convince a proponent of the big rush systems than someone is to convince me every house has to rush the same.

How would you solve the problems of bid promising and numbers as well as dirty rushing in general? Would continue to restrict chapters to a quota? If so, how would you deal with PNMs who go bidless after only considering the "top" houses?

It's great to have an idea of what you don't like, silence, bid matching, etc., but how do you solve the problems that those things were designed to address?

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

How would you solve the problems of bid promising and numbers as well as dirty rushing in general? Would continue to restrict chapters to a quota? If so, how would you deal with PNMs who go bidless after only considering the "top" houses?

It's great to have an idea of what you don't like, silence, bid matching, etc., but how do you solve the problems that those things were designed to address?

Who cares about those people?! If you don't have five bids to choose from, you obviously don't deserve to go greek, and if you don't have a hundred girls clamoring to join your chapter, get your group off campus!

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by DGTess

But I've had my say. I really don't think I'm necessarily a minority of one, but probably joined by thousands who don't post here.

If you weren't in the minority, we wouldn't have the system we do.