How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by dgdramadawg

Okay, story, then a question:

I recently spoke with a girl from my church who will be going through recruitment at an SEC school in the fall. Her mom was Greek at this school, but she decided to ask me for some recruitment advice. Even though I did not attend the school the PNM will be rushing at, I gave her the usual standard SEC recruitment advice and told her that she might want to ask her mom for more information specific to this school.

Then I offered to write her a recommendation for Delta Gamma, and she responded: "My mom won't let me get recommendations for other chapters because she says the only one she will pay for me to be in is [her own chapter]."

This is an SEC school with what is considered a VERY competitive recruitment. The PNM's mother is a member of a very sought-after chapter on that campus, and being a legacy does not in any way guarantee this PNM a bid in any situation, but especially when she is an out-of-state PNM who knows no one in the chapter.

1. WHY would this mom sabotage her daughter's recruitment by refusing to allow her daughter to seek recommendations for or even consider membership in any other chapter? I sure hope that mom is not deliberately trying to sabotage daughters chances-although she is on the right track if that is what she is trying to do. i hope that you can formulate some kind of conversation that will bring up rush and tell mom you would be happy to write a delta gamma rec. for daughter, and you have friends in adb, de and fgh sororities that you would be glad to pass on her information to. mom either has to accept your help, or lie to you that the recs. are already taken care of. you could then talk about how brutal SEC University's rush can be for girls who don't have recs., etc., etc., etc.

2. The larger issue: I would expect that most mothers would love for their daughters to join them as sisters... but how should moms treat their legacy daughters with respect to recruitment? Is there a way for a mother to encourage her daughter to consider her own house more heavily without destroying her chances at every other house on campus?

]I was hoping that my daughter would like zta the best and it would work out for her to pledge, but we made sure she had multiple recs. to all the chapters and i told her that she needed to find the place that was right for her. and had it been some other sorority, i would have sent an arrangment of those flowers to her and done some online shopping for owls, pandas, ladybugs or lions!