Hyphenated last names - Page 4

jdrama · #1 04-21-2010, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Stop being so lazy, people.

True but seriously, Signing a lease and that paper work or even a new job with the W4 and all of that is crazy! Hard enough with 3 names but 4... I rather give one up.

cheerfulgreek · #2 04-21-2010, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I want to announce that there are a couple of jokes that came to mind when reading this. I shall behave.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZTA72

I know many female physicians who keep their name and then if married after graduation then use their husband's name socially and for any children. It seems to work well to separate work and social/family life.

I'm not sure if it would be the same with DVMs but when I graduate, and marry, I would still use his last name. I don't think I know any vets personally who use a hyphenated last name. I think the only problem would be a business card change.

AOII Angel · #3 04-21-2010, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I'm not sure if it would be the same with DVMs but when I graduate, and marry, I would still use his last name. I don't think I know any vets personally who use a hyphenated last name. I think the only problem would be a business card change.

There may not be as much hassel in the world of licensing for DVMs as there is for MDs. If you have your maiden name on your diploma, it is a huge deal to then have your medical license in a different name or practice in a hospital under a different name.

cheerfulgreek · #4 04-21-2010, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

There may not be as much hassel in the world of licensing for DVMs as there is for MDs. If you have your maiden name on your diploma, it is a huge deal to then have your medical license in a different name or practice in a hospital under a different name.

Maybe it isn't. I really haven't looked into it, yet. Also, my friend's brother is a dentist who's married to a dentist. Same thing. She uses his last name. So, maybe it's different with MDs. *shrugs*

Gusteau · #5 04-21-2010, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Johnson is slang for...

Just to be clear, I've had people freak out for calling them the wrong name the very first time it happens when I have no knowledge of the situation. I know it must be irritating to have to constantly correct people, but you can't expect them to be omniscient to you nomenclature conventions. If they keep it up after you correct them feel free to go nuclear.

cheerfulgreek · #6 04-21-2010, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gusteau

Johnson is slang for...

lol
How did I miss that one?

ForeverRoses · #7 04-21-2010, 11:50 AM

I kept my name, my husband kept his name. We've been married 10 years and it hasn't been a major issue in terms of confusion. (Our boys have his last name)

My husband was a bit confused when I told him that I didn't want to change my name, but we discussed it in pre-marriage counseling and it came down to it not being a deal-breaker for him, but it was for me. He just wanted to kids to have his name, and I was fine with that.

As far as socially, I don't really care what the invitation says- I would prefer to be called by my first name anyway, but if you want to be formal I will accept either name.

I was asked by one of my son's teachers if my son was ever confused why we didn't share a last name, and I asked if any of the kids in the room whose parents were divorced/remarried or divorced/mom takes back maiden name were confused. I figured our kids had parents that were still happily married, if all they were worried about was last names, then we did a pretty good job!

AOII Angel · #8 04-21-2010, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I kept my name, my husband kept his name. We've been married 10 years and it hasn't been a major issue in terms of confusion. (Our boys have his last name)

My husband was a bit confused when I told him that I didn't want to change my name, but we discussed it in pre-marriage counseling and it came down to it not being a deal-breaker for him, but it was for me. He just wanted to kids to have his name, and I was fine with that.

As far as socially, I don't really care what the invitation says- I would prefer to be called by my first name anyway, but if you want to be formal I will accept either name.

I was asked by one of my son's teachers if my son was ever confused why we didn't share a last name, and I asked if any of the kids in the room whose parents were divorced/remarried or divorced/mom takes back maiden name were confused. I figured our kids had parents that were still happily married, if all they were worried about was last names, then we did a pretty good job!

Good point...you guys have your priorities in check with your kids! When I was getting married, it wasn't even an issue. My husband doesn't even want his own last name since it's so bizarre! My dad who rales against femi-nazis (yeah, I grew up listening to Rush Limbaugh riding in my dad's truck) likes that I kept my maiden name. He likes having a doctor in the family!

The only reason I started using my husband's name at all was that is made travel arrangements a little easier when we traveled together. My driver's license has my maiden name as my middle name so even if I by a plane ticket in my maiden name, I can get through security with my license as identification. My passport is still in my maiden name, though, which annoys my husband for some reason.

AGDee · #9 04-21-2010, 05:50 AM

I did always find it interesting that a birth certificate is considered identification for you even after you've changed your name and the names no longer match. At least with my maiden name as my middle name, it kind of demonstrates that there is a relationship between the current name and the name on the birth certificate.

ADqtPiMel · #10 04-21-2010, 06:39 AM

I am a hyphenate, but largely go by my last name (for pretty much anything where it isn't essential to use your full legal name).

And sorry, but I am militant about it. I don't go off on strangers who call me "Mrs. hislastname" or anything, but I definitely do correct them and expect them to acknowledge it. However, I have family and friends who know what my name is and choose to call me "Mrs. hislastname," and they get the full nuclear blast. You don't get to just choose what to call someone -- it's not THAT freaking unusual for a married couple to have different last names, so if you willfully ignore that, you're being rude.

DrPhil · #11 04-21-2010, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

And sorry, but I am militant about it. I don't go off on strangers who call me "Mrs. hislastname" or anything, but I definitely do correct them and expect them to acknowledge it. However, I have family and friends who know what my name is and choose to call me "Mrs. hislastname," and they get the full nuclear blast. You don't get to just choose what to call someone -- it's not THAT freaking unusual for a married couple to have different last names, so if you willfully ignore that, you're being rude.

Amen, sister.

RaggedyAnn · #12 04-21-2010, 07:26 AM

I took Andy's last name, but was surprised when I started being referred to as First Name, Maiden Name, Last Name when volunteering with my alma mater and the sorority. It caught me off guard at first, because I was married for 3+ years and hadn't used my maiden name for anything. I now use my maiden name with my Last Name regularly in communications, but it's not my legal name anymore.

MysticCat · #13 04-21-2010, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZTA72

I know many female physicians who keep their name and then if married after graduation then use their husband's name socially and for any children. It seems to work well to separate work and social/family life.

Ditto with lawyers. My wife did that as long as she was in journalism as well. She still regularly uses FirstName MaidenName MySurname (without a hyphen).

Meanwhile, OP's friend and her fiancé need to have a serious talk if he's willing to call off the wedding over this.

cheerfulgreek · #14 04-21-2010, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Meanwhile, OP's friend and her fiancé need to have a serious talk if he's willing to call off the wedding over this.

I met him and have gone to lunch with both of them. He is kind of controlling. He's also a surgeon and has made a few comments about veterinary medicine that I wasn't very pleased with.

AOII Angel · #15 04-21-2010, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I met him and have gone to lunch with both of them. He is kind of controlling. He's also a surgeon and has made a few comments about veterinary medicine that I wasn't very pleased with.

Explains A LOT! She needs to sit down NOW and have that discussion about expectations.