9 Charged after girl kills herself over bullying

[srmom]

We must be reading two different articles. I see nothing that shows the boy manned up. it appears he was just in the locker room and got a wedgie.

When I said he "manned up" I was referring to this:

"Our family lives with this every night," says LaDonna Keeling from North Richland Hills "What keeps me strong is he's strong."

And the fact that he didn't commit suicide, which in some posts seems to be alluded to as not "manning up".

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by srmom

When I said he "manned up" I was referring to this:



And the fact that he didn't commit suicide, which in some posts seems to be alluded to as not "manning up".

emergency room wedgie > suicide

I don't see how what you posted contrasts what they were saying regarding strength in any way (I don't agree with the use of "manning up" but I see their general point). The boy is strong with help from his family (the family shouldn't wait for HIS strength to be strong FOR him) and he will get past this painful wedgie. He couldn't get past suicide.

[srmom]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

emergency room wedgie > suicide

I don't see how what you posted contrasts what they were saying regarding strength in any way (I don't agree with the use of "manning up" but I see their general point). The boy is strong with help from his family (the family shouldn't wait for HIS strength to be strong FOR him) and he will get past this painful wedgie. He couldn't get past suicide.

Absolutely. But, from reading this thread, there are some who have IMO "blamed" the girl who hanged herself for not "manning up". Others have said, and not just in this thread but on other blogs and message boards, that the parents should have done more, but in some cases (like the article I posted and in NUMEROUS websites about bullying) the parents HAVE done everything, short of selling their house and moving to another city, to try to stop the bullying, by going to school administrators and teachers and advising them of the problems, to no avail.

This kid's school supposedly has a "zero tolerance policy" for bullying, but even after the parents had complained, nothing was done. It isn't until someone is actually hurt - as in the torn rectum (it may have been from a wedgie, but geesus, does belittling HOW he ended up having to have his bottom sewed back up somehow make it okay??) that something is done.

In this family's case they took it to the police and the kids were sentenced to "supervised counseling" Obviously, that's not much punishment. I bet those kids laughed out loud when that's what they were told their "punishment" was going to be.

From the article, the expert says:

Dr. Wendy Middlemiss is an expert on bullying from the University of North Texas in Denton, she says if there's no punishment, there's no learning. "It's certainly not punishment there is nothing that would necessarily in the short run discourage a child from engaging in that type of behavior again."

How is "supervised counseling" punishment to 16 year old boys?

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by srmom

Absolutely. But, from reading this thread, there are some who have IMO "blamed" the girl who hanged herself for not "manning up". Others have said, and not just in this thread but on other blogs and message boards, that the parents should have done more, but in some cases (like the article I posted and in NUMEROUS websites about bullying) the parents HAVE done everything, short of selling their house and moving to another city, to try to stop the bullying, by going to school administrators and teachers and advising them of the problems, to no avail.

This kid's school supposedly has a "zero tolerance policy" for bullying, but even after the parents had complained, nothing was done. It isn't until someone is actually hurt - as in the torn rectum (it may have been from a wedgie, but geesus, does belittling HOW he ended up having to have his bottom sewed back up somehow make it okay??) that something is done.

The parents DO have some blame. They weren't aggressive enough. sometimes when issues like this arise, parents have to "show out" in order to see something happen.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

The parents DO have some blame. They weren't aggressive enough. sometimes when issues like this arise, parents have to "show out" in order to see something happen.

THIS would be my mom. She doesn't play those games.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by srmom

Absolutely. But, from reading this thread, there are some who have IMO "blamed" the girl who hanged herself for not "manning up". Others have said, and not just in this thread but on other blogs and message boards, that the parents should have done more, but in some cases (like the article I posted and in NUMEROUS websites about bullying) the parents HAVE done everything, short of selling their house and moving to another city, to try to stop the bullying, by going to school administrators and teachers and advising them of the problems, to no avail.

The parents didn't do everything they could do. They knew about it and more could have been done instead of, as I said before, relinquishing their child's outcome to the inadequate adults and stupid children at the school. Another instance of hindsight is 20/20.

Originally Posted by srmom

This kid's school supposedly has a "zero tolerance policy" for bullying, but even after the parents had complained, nothing was done. It isn't until someone is actually hurt - as in the torn rectum (it may have been from a wedgie, but geesus, does belittling HOW he ended up having to have his bottom sewed back up somehow make it okay??) that something is done.

If all the parents did was complain and wait, they didn't do nearly enough. I wager that most of these kids have inadequate coping skills because their parents have provided inadequate coping mechanisms. Kids are a reflection of their environments.

If the parents went to the police, that's all well and good but they shouldn't have trusted that the police would follow through? Since when do people trust the police to do more than enforce the law at the surface level?

I'm not blaming the victims so much as acknowledging personal decisions and encouraging people to do better with their children. We can't predict and control the actions of other kids. We have more control over what happens in our homes in preparation for what our kids may face in this crazy world. Inner city and minority kids have been taught about this crazy world for generations in order to teach about aspirations-and-disappointments as well as to buffer the effects of social strains and mental/emotional disorders. It's about time that other kids are raised to put the rose colored glasses down so they can know what to do when someone says "fuck you."

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

The parents didn't do everything they could do. They knew about it and more could have been done instead of, as I said before, relinquishing their child's outcome to the inadequate adults and stupid children at the school. Another instance of hindsight is 20/20.


If all the parents did was complain and wait, they didn't do nearly enough. I wager that most of these kids have inadequate coping skills because their parents have provided inadequate coping mechanisms. Kids are a reflection of their environments.

If the parents went to the police, that's all well and good but they shouldn't have trusted that the police would follow through? Since when do people trust the police to do more than enforce the law at the surface level?

I'm not blaming the victims so much as acknowledging personal decisions and encouraging people to do better with their children. We can't predict and control the actions of other kids. We have more control over what happens in our homes in preparation for what our kids may face in this crazy world. Inner city and minority kids have been taught about this crazy world for generations in order to teach about aspirations-and-disappointments as well as to buffer the effects of social strains and mental/emotional disorders. It's about time that other kids are raised to put the rose colored glasses down so they can know what to do when someone says "fuck you."

well said. I especially agree with the part in bold.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

well said. I especially agree with the part in bold.

Yeah mainstream society doesn't give a damn about kids committing suicide, being bullied, having pregnancy pacts, shooting in the schools, wearing revealing prom dresses, etc. until it impacts white kids outside of the inner city public school systems.

They need to be focused on why this is happening beyond focusing on these bullies and acting like life for white kids is supposed to be Heaven--que pasa?! They also need to go beyond attempting to attribute everything to a diagnosable and medication-treatment worthy disorder. This is already an over-diagnosed and over-medicated society. Kids can't even fail a couple of tests (which is hardly a hardcore pattern of behavior) without going to the disabilities services center and getting a documented disorder and potentially going on medication.

/end rant

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Yeah mainstream society doesn't give a damn about kids committing suicide, being bullied, having pregnancy pacts, shooting in the schools, wearing revealing prom dresses, etc. until it impacts white kids outside of the inner city public school systems.

They need to be focused on why this is happening beyond focusing on these bullies and acting like life for white kids is supposed to be Heaven--que pasa?! They also need to go beyond attempting to attribute everything to a diagnosable and medication-treatment worthy disorder. This is already an over-diagnosed and over-medicated society. Kids can't even fail a couple of tests (which is hardly a hardcore pattern of behavior) without going to the disabilities services center and getting a documented disorder and potentially going on medication.

/end rant

agreed

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Yeah mainstream society doesn't give a damn about kids committing suicide, being bullied, having pregnancy pacts, shooting in the schools, wearing revealing prom dresses, etc. until it impacts white kids outside of the inner city public school systems.

They need to be focused on why this is happening beyond focusing on these bullies and acting like life for white kids is supposed to be Heaven--que pasa?! They also need to go beyond attempting to attribute everything to a diagnosable and medication-treatment worthy disorder. This is already an over-diagnosed and over-medicated society. Kids can't even fail a couple of tests (which is hardly a hardcore pattern of behavior) without going to the disabilities services center and getting a documented disorder and potentially going on medication.

/end rant

However treating mental illnesses like they're a silly catch all for emotional problems is just plain wrong.

They should absolutely be sent to a doctor if they show signs of a mental disease. Some doctors do throw out medication like candy, but researching referrals to find one that will take the time to decide if medication is correct or not isn't all that hard.

[Ch2tf]

Originally Posted by srmom

And the fact that he didn't commit suicide, which in some posts seems to be alluded to as not "manning up".

"Manning up" isn't about not committing suicide, but about taking appropriate steps to deal with the situation.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by srmom

When I said he "manned up" I was referring to this:



And the fact that he didn't commit suicide, which in some posts seems to be alluded to as not "manning up".

No. That's not what I meant about manning up. Sounds like he just took it without standing up for himself.