9 Charged after girl kills herself over bullying

[AOII Angel]

I was lucky I guess. One girl tried to bully me in third grade and wouldn't let me join her clique but she'd been held back from the fourth grade, and I didn't want to be friends with a dumb girl! After that, I was significantly taller than everyone else and people were always afraid of me, though I would never have been mean to someone purposely. It worked out well.

[Ch2tf]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I was lucky I guess. One girl tried to bully me in third grade and wouldn't let me join her clique but she'd been held back from the fourth grade, and I didn't want to be friends with a dumb girl! After that, I was significantly taller than everyone else and people were always afraid of me, though I would never have been mean to someone purposely. It worked out well.

I'd say, not only were you lucky, but somewhere you were given (by parents or maybe by "nature") a coping mechanism. You were self aware enough to make a judgement about what you did/didn't want to do, and with that you didn't let this chick get in your head.

I don't think saying to kids, and in particular teenagers, that "in X amount of years you will look back on this and see how insignificant it is" is a solution especially because they only think in the moment. However, at the same time, we need to do better about preparing our kids for the future, showing them what's really important, etc.

[srmom]

Originally Posted by Ch2tf

I'd say, not only were you lucky, but somewhere you were given (by parents or maybe by "nature") a coping mechanism. You were self aware enough to make a judgement about what you did/didn't want to do, and with that you didn't let this chick get in your head.

I don't think saying to kids, and in particular teenagers, that "in X amount of years you will look back on this and see how insignificant it is" is a solution especially because they only think in the moment. However, at the same time, we need to do better about preparing our kids for the future, showing them what's really important, etc.

Ch2tf, while I agree that parents perparing kids for coping with bullying is important. Sometimes it just isn't enough! In the case where there is no respite, daily and constant torture, whether physically or mentally, seemingly nowhere to turn, no opportunity to find other friends (as in my case - small school, 20 or so kids in each grade), etc. anxiety and depression can set in to a point which you feel there is no hope.

In my case my parents tried everything, bolstering me up, sending me to a local modelling academy (at the time and in my place, the girl's version of martial arts classes), telling me that it would blow over (well 4 months in with no let up whatsoever, you stop believing that), contacting the school and parents of the kids to try to get it to stop (that only gave them more ammunition), keeping me home, etc. Nothing worked, it went on and on until the emotional disturbance led to physical manifestations and illness.

What would you all have suggested my folks do? They were at wits end, trying everything they could to help me, as they saw me wasting away, sick and miserably unhappy. Their ultimate response was to take me out of the environment, and we were in a position where that was possible. It changed my life, and I am now a happy healthy adult.


As a parent, I thank God every day that my kids have come through adolescence unscathed, happy and whole. There but for the grace of God go I, and I don't judge parents who are doing the best they can, because if you haven't walked in their shoes then how are you to know what they're going through.

[Ch2tf]

Originally Posted by srmom

What would you all have suggested my folks do?

Exactly what they did do, pull you out of the school. Once it became clear to them that the girls would not stop, and the school and the other parents weren't going to do anything about it, your parents understood that the matter rested in their hands, and they did what they had to do.

Is this going to be an option for everyone? Nope. And ultimately are we going to see cases where kids don't cope well? Of course, nothing as an absolute guaranteed fix for every person on this planet. However, the bigger issue is that on all sides, we need to do better, parents, schools, and kids (where applicable).