9 Charged after girl kills herself over bullying

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

You shouldn't make such assumptions. Sometimes bullies gain power not because of superiority in size and strength, but simply by using mind games. I've seen kids being bullied by other kids who are the same size.

Being little doesn't mean you are completely helpless.

It doesn't, but it doesn't mean you can do shit about it either. It's ridiculous to expect one kid to fight a group especially if he is smaller than they, and the "hit them back" attitude backfires just about every single time.

Having been the little person (and no I wasn't tiny, but small enough to know I couldn't take them all on in a million years) surrounded by much larger girls, I know exactly how it feels when you realize there is literally nothing you can do to protect yourself at that moment. Knowing you can run to a teacher or parent afterword isn't reassuring at the moment they're closing in.

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

So SHE can't turn off HER computer? That part of her world she can control. No, it's not fair that she's not able to use facebook/myspace/whatever space....but she doesn't have to read it. At the very least she could have peace in her own home.

No, she can't. Because whether the computer is on or not, people are talking about her all over the internet, and she knows it's in reading for the entire world to see.

I don't believe in treating children like they're made of glass, but this sort of attitude is exactly why the situation ended like it did.

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

What if this isn't possible? I had a cousin who was bullied in the first grade and was told that if he didn't bring the bully $.50 he was going to be beaten up. My cousin is smaller than the kids his age and at such a young age how can one "man up". We only knew about it because I noticed a change in his behavior, it only stopped because his mom and her sister took action by going to the principal, the teacher, the bully's mom and finally THE BULLY. I always worry about him because he's so small and I know that it's easy for him to become a target, he's so little. Bullying really bothers me because I've seen how stressed out a child can be because of it.

I agree that this younger generation is kind of soft, but you don't know what another persons breaking point is. Just because you can take being taunted and teased doesn't mean that the next person can. This isn't new, it's just that most of the time we hear about it as a murder suicide. This young lady told her parents, her parents told the school and no one protected her.

Not to mention, what if she had depression (clinical) on top of this bullying? People never take that into account and it's absolutely a real disease.

Sometimes there is no "manning up" I've seen what happens when a kid is mercilessly tormented. At least before Facebook kids could, for the most part, escape it for a few hours once they left school. Think about how it feels to not only be mercilessly tormented at school, but to be tormented with no break. Ever. Knowing that the entire world can read what bullies wrote and it'll follow her forever. In the mind of a teenager who is already struggling, that's massive.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

It doesn't, but it doesn't mean you can do shit about it either. It's ridiculous to expect one kid to fight a group especially if he is smaller than they, and the "hit them back" attitude backfires just about every single time.

Having been the little person (and no I wasn't tiny, but small enough to know I couldn't take them all on in a million years) surrounded by much larger girls, I know exactly how it feels when you realize there is literally nothing you can do to protect yourself at that moment. Knowing you can run to a teacher or parent afterword isn't reassuring at the moment they're closing in.



No, she can't. Because whether the computer is on or not, people are talking about her all over the internet, and she knows it's in reading for the entire world to see.

I don't believe in treating children like they're made of glass, but this sort of attitude is exactly why the situation ended like it did.




Not to mention, what if she had depression (clinical) on top of this bullying? People never take that into account and it's absolutely a real disease.

Sometimes there is no "manning up" I've seen what happens when a kid is mercilessly tormented. At least before Facebook kids could, for the most part, escape it for a few hours once they left school. Think about how it feels to not only be mercilessly tormented at school, but to be tormented with no break. Ever. Knowing that the entire world can read what bullies wrote and it'll follow her forever. In the mind of a teenager who is already struggling, that's massive.

To the bold, apparently you have not been reading my posts...or the one you responded to for that matter. I said she'd have peace at home and I never said to treat her like she was glass and that it shouldn't have been dealth with. When responding to me, read the entire post. Please and thankies.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

To the bold, apparently you have not been reading my posts...or the one you responded to for that matter. I said she'd have peace at home and I never said to treat her like she was glass and that it shouldn't have been dealth with. When responding to me, read the entire post. Please and thankies.

I very thoroughly read them and stand by everything I said. You, m'dear, didn't read mine (really, are we going to play this game?). The entire point is that no, she would not have "peace at home". It doesn't matter if she's engaging in conversation with these people on the internet or not, she KNOWS it's going on, everyone in the world can see it, and it will follow her forever. That's not peace.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I very thoroughly read them and stand by everything I said. You, m'dear, didn't read mine (really, are we going to play this game?). The entire point is that no, she would not have "peace at home". It doesn't matter if she's engaging in conversation with these people on the internet or not, she KNOWS it's going on, everyone in the world can see it, and it will follow her forever. That's not peace.

Shut up. That is all.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

Shut up. That is all.

You've got to be kidding me.

[deepimpact2]

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

I'm not that old, but an ass-whoopin in my day was different than the ones these days.

A fight at school rarely stops there. You may get back at the bully once, but it will likely be followed by the group coming after you.

I'm still on the fence about this issue, but just wanted to point that out.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

But....at least their child would be alive. Why wouldn't someone consider transferring their child to a different school to keep them from being tormented and raped?

My mom wouldn't allow me to back down from anyone...this holds true to this very day. I don't know that she would have put me in a different school, but then again she would do anything to keep me from being hurt so it's possible that she would have. Kicking butt is cool, if you can fight. So suggesting that the solution is a good ole fashioned but whooping carries a little bit of a risk.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

GOOD parents, in my opinion, will do whatever they have the means to do to protect their child. This doesn't mean teaching them to "fight back". I think it's a good idea for a kid to attempt to "stand up" by finding ways to respond without showing weakness. Bullies often get bored when their target doesn't react to their bad behavior. But not all bullies are picking on their peers for kicks. Some are motivated by jealously, anger, percieved revenge, etc. I doubt many parents would move to a different school due to minor bullying, and certainly it's a smart move to first talk to their kid, then the school, and if that doesn't work, keep going to the parents of the bullies and possibly the actual bully. But in my opinion a good parent would absolutely move if they've gone down all these routes with no result (if they're able...not every family has that option). There's a difference between the typical harassment many underdogs experience in junior high/middle school and the type of bullying the girls in this article were doing. "Fighting back" almost always backfires.

[Ch2tf]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

As a future parent (hopefully) and being that I'm currently working with my sister to choose a school district/system for my niece, I disagree. While placing my child in a different school would be the last resort, at some level beyond the school itself (district, state, etc.), when reaching the point where my complaints, charges, etc. are not making a change in the situation, I would indeed place my kid somewhere else, because ultimately what the officials in charge are telling me is that they do not have my child's welfare in mind. And while I'm going up the chain of command, I have to remember that my child may be suffering on a daily basis. And I don't begin to think that beyond a certain point I can control the actions of others. I do believe this goes beyond complaining to the principle however.