Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
I don't think it's WHICH guys, rather the amount of time and depth (no pun) of time. In other words I don't think it's a "they're hanging out with a geeky fraternity" issue.
If they have a relatively new chapter, they might have advisors that are not familiar with their campus at all and that can hurt. Pledging the party girl is a coup on one campus, social suicide on another. The question is how far these girls have gone along those lines...I mean at some point, a ho is a ho.
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I was thinking in terms of how to approach making the choices/voting/pinning the tail on the donkey. These girls obviously haven't had to make MS decisions yet. An adviser might be able to give them general suggestions on things to look for, methods of discussions - pro/con lists, role playing, etc. The adviser may not know the campus culture or any of the girls themselves, but guaranteed, as a collegiate member (or part of any type of group or team where decisions had to be made), they faced tough decisions similar to what the colony is going through. An intelligent adult should be capable of helping the girls recognize potential, weigh possible risk factors, and be able to make informed decisions.
A colony faces the challenge of "getting it right" the first time, both in who receives bids, and how they behave (or are perceived on campus). Everyone is looking for them to either succeed or fail. However. their chapter needs to come up with a way for evaluating PNMs (if they are operating outside, in addition to, or without existing MS practices). But there are tried and true methods of making any group decisions, including:
- majority vote
- secret ballot
- veto power
- floor discussions followed by vote
THAT Is what I meant by asking an adviser. Suggestions on HOW TO REACH a consensus or at least, standards agreeable to the majority of stakeholders.
To the OP - make some lists. Write down what is acceptable, what is negotiable, and what's a deal breaker. You better make sure that everything on that list is something that you can trace/confirm on some level. This should at least give you a starting point. Does that help????
Example:
Acceptable - occasional drinker
Negotiable - the girl who got drunk in the quad and passed out because she didn't know the koolaid was spiked
Not acceptable - arrest and charge for DUI
Acceptable - flirty, fun girl wearing cute short skirt
Negotiable - girl who is friendly with a lot of guys and sat on the lap of dude who isn't her bf but he happens to be her best friends from home since grade school
Not acceptable - girl sexting her own pics to fraternity guys
Hybrid Mode
