What to do when you know something sensitive about PNMs?

[33girl]

Getting an MIP has nothing to do with being "ladylike" - you can get an MIP sitting in your apartment drinking a glass of Arbor Mist. But if they're getting shitfaced and doing all the Sigma Chis on a weekly basis, then that could be a real problem and you probably shouldn't bid them.

And those "shyer sisters" need to get used to being around all kinds of women, the sooner the better. I would hardly use their discomfort as a reason not to bid someone.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And those "shyer sisters" need to get used to being around all kinds of women, the sooner the better. I would hardly use their discomfort as a reason not to bid someone.

Unless of course they're shying away from drunk sluts who get arrested.

No one here is going to be able to tell you what to do in this situation, because we don't know the girls personally, and we don't know the full scope of the situation. Your chapter will have to make the decision that they feel is best for them.

However, I will say this:

DO NOT give a bid to anyone that you feel is unsuitable for your chapter simply because you need numbers!

I guarantee that there are plenty of other girls on your campus who would make great sisters, and you don't need to "settle" simply because you want a larger pledge class.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Unless of course they're shying away from drunk sluts who get arrested.

My point was that just sounded like fishing for an excuse, and if you really have members who are such delicate flowers that they wilt away at the least hint of sex or alcohol, you're going to have a very dull chapter if you cater all your bidding so as not to "upset" them.

If you're being pressured (from within or from above) to pledge tons of girls just to pledge tons of girls - don't sugar coat it when telling whoever the pressurer is WHY you don't want to bid these girls (or any other girls for that matter). "They've done some questionable things" doesn't cut it. "They chugged a bottle of Jack and pulled a train with the whole TKE pledge class" does.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

My point was that just sounded like fishing for an excuse, and if you really have members who are such delicate flowers that they wilt away at the least hint of sex or alcohol, you're going to have a very dull chapter if you cater all your bidding so as not to "upset" them.

Oh, yea.. I totally got that. But I wasn't sure to what degree these sisters were "shy". If you have sisters that don't approve of alcohol being consumed at all, and they think they shouldn't give out bids based on that, yes, it's ridiculous. On the other hand, if the sisters are afraid to give these girls letters because they believe that they'll legitimately ruin the reputation of the chapter, then they have every right to feel that way.

[ThetaPrincess24]

As a recruitment advisor myself, my advice would be to talk to your advisor (or if you dont have one talk to your district/regional advisor/officer over recruitment, if you dont have one of those, talk to the respective advisor at your HQ) about "no confidence" voting and your concerns.

Here are a few things I like to teach the young women of the chapter I advise that may be helpful to you:

Look at the entire picture of a PNM. Yes they may have a great personality, but what about everything else? Are their academics in the toilet? Would their behaviors cause a risk management issue? Are they of the belief that fun cannot be had unless alcohol and/or boys are always involved? How well to they present themselves(if they dont take pride in their appearance in recruitment are they going to take pride in their appearance when representing the chapter on campus and/or to alumnae)? If you already know them, are they reliable? Do they show up when they say they will or blow things off? Do they occasionally use inappropriate language in an appropriate setting or are they constantly using inappropriate language regardless of the situation? Are they someone who enjoys drama to the point of moving a chapter backwards rather than forwards?

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Getting an MIP has nothing to do with being "ladylike" - you can get an MIP sitting in your apartment drinking a glass of Arbor Mist. But if they're getting shitfaced and doing all the Sigma Chis on a weekly basis, then that could be a real problem and you probably shouldn't bid them.

Allegedly.