Disappointing recruitment--why wasn't I chosen?

[Titchou]

Exactly - quite a few view only mother, grandmother, sister and the steps of those 3...not aunts, cousins, etc.

Originally Posted by Titchou

Exactly - quite a few view only mother, grandmother, sister and the steps of those 3...not aunts, cousins, etc.

I think it's kind of bizarre that step-blanks would be considered for legacy when they could often not know you as well as an actual blood relative. My aunt wrote me a reference and my mother wrote a shorter letter, even though my campus doesn't require them...

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lkjl2007

I think it's kind of bizarre that step-blanks would be considered for legacy when they could often not know you as well as an actual blood relative. My aunt wrote me a reference and my mother wrote a shorter letter, even though my campus doesn't require them...

Something to consider with being a legacy:

They aren't guaranteed a bid, and also, the chapters could have had multiple legacies going through and logically, every one of them can't get in.

At the end of the day, no one really knows why you didn't receive a bid to either of your legacy chapters.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but all we can do is speculate. No one was there to see you interact with any chapter, so we have no idea why you didn't get a bid from either of them.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by lkjl2007

I think it's kind of bizarre that step-blanks would be considered for legacy when they could often not know you as well as an actual blood relative. My aunt wrote me a reference and my mother wrote a shorter letter, even though my campus doesn't require them...

This is so rude, you're obviously not in a blended family and I find this offensive as I know the hell out of my family (OMG we're not actual blood relatives!). I am glad my sorority lets each individual member use our legacy policy in a way appropriate to her family situation re: steps. Do you feel the same way about adopted people?

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

This is so rude, you're obviously not in a blended family and I find this offensive as I know the hell out of my family (OMG we're not actual blood relatives!). I am glad my sorority lets each individual member use our legacy policy in a way appropriate to her family situation re: steps. Do you feel the same way about adopted people?

When I first read her post, I had the reaction you are having, and then I realized she must have been thinking about the not-custodial step-parents and step siblings who never lived in the same household. It was still a pretty thoughtless comment for her to have made, no doubt, but maybe it's not the case that she considers all step-relationships as less valid than blood relationships.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

When I first read her post, I had the reaction you are having, and then I realized she must have been thinking about the not-custodial step-parents and step siblings who never lived in the same household. It was still a pretty thoughtless comment for her to have made, no doubt, but maybe it's not the case that she considers all step-relationships as less valid than blood relationships.

Well here's a tip to PNMs, saying things like this can give the wrong impression and cause offense. Especially critical when we barely have time to meet you. If a woman said this to me and was seeking a rec/membership it would not fare her well. I know I'm not the only woman who isn't in her "actual blood relative" family either. Thankfully families are many things and even when our legacy policies aren't encompassing of all kinds of families we have RIFs and personal letters to assist in the process.

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

When I first read her post, I had the reaction you are having, and then I realized she must have been thinking about the not-custodial step-parents and step siblings who never lived in the same household. It was still a pretty thoughtless comment for her to have made, no doubt, but maybe it's not the case that she considers all step-relationships as less valid than blood relationships.

I have five stepsiblings, and both of my parents are remarried. I have lived with and am close to some of my stepsiblings, and not lived with and am not close to some of them. I am close to one step-parent and not to the other. Just as I didn't use "legacy status" with my step-parents when applying to colleges, I wouldn't use it for sororities with any of my stepfamily. That is my personal situation, and perhaps I didn't speak properly in my previous post.

What I said isn't meant to invalidate others' relationships/legacy status with their stepfamilies. And no, I absolutely would not think that of adopted children! That was pretty thoughtless of you yourself VandalSquirrel...ever think that the person you're attacking could be adopted?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by lkjl2007

And no, I absolutely would not think that of adopted children! That was pretty thoughtless of you yourself VandalSquirrel...ever think that the person you're attacking could be adopted?

You were the one who threw out the phrase "blood relative", toots.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by lkjl2007

I have five stepsiblings, and both of my parents are remarried. I have lived with and am close to some of my stepsiblings, and not lived with and am not close to some of them. I am close to one step-parent and not to the other. Just as I didn't use "legacy status" with my step-parents when applying to colleges, I wouldn't use it for sororities with any of my stepfamily. That is my personal situation, and perhaps I didn't speak properly in my previous post.

What I said isn't meant to invalidate others' relationships/legacy status with their stepfamilies. And no, I absolutely would not think that of adopted children! That was pretty thoughtless of you yourself VandalSquirrel...ever think that the person you're attacking could be adopted?

Originally Posted by 33girl

You were the one who threw out the phrase "blood relative", toots.

I completely agree with 33girl, I'm using your own words. Sorry you feel that's an attack, but if you go around saying things like that it probably isn't going to help you gain membership to a sorority. Ever think that the people around you might take offense to "actual blood relative?" furthermore you're a sophomore, and you may not realize what you say around campus and who is hearing it (this is what we mean by reputation). I'm an alumna and I hear things because I still live in town and am on campus taking courses for grad. school admissions, it can and does happen, and in some cases we tell our friends in other sororities about questionable behavior/people. We've got to narrow down the pool somehow...