Disappointing recruitment--why wasn't I chosen?

[als463]

Originally Posted by lkjl2007

Here's what I hope will be the short version. I'm a sophomore at a smaller public university with relatively laidback recruitment (at least compared to schools in the south). I decided to rush this year and people have told me I'm perfect for a sorority. I'm involved in a lot of activities, love volunteering, sports, music, etc., and [I'm not trying to be full of myself] am prettier than your average girl. I'm a legacy at two different sororities on my campus, my dad was in a fraternity, and was really looking forward to going through rush and finding my place in our Greek system. I had two letters of recommendation for one of the houses where I'm a legacy, and the women in my family have been so excited at the thought of me joining a sorority, as have I!

My recruitment walkaround group was all freshman except for myself, but we all got along really well and had similar sororities that we liked and didn't like. We even talked about how all of us were such great girls, there was no way any of us would be mismatched.

Our first round, we had short parties at each of the ten houses. I felt that it went really well; I had a bunch of great conversations and really clicked with a lot of the girls I met. There were two houses where I really couldn't see myself at all, so when we did our rankings, they were at the bottom of my list.

When we got our parties back for the second round, I had been cut from three of the houses where I thought things had gone great (I loved them!) and so I had back both of the houses I had wanted to drop, for a total of seven parties. The second round was AMAZING. At two sororities I had really wonderful experiences, great conversations, and really felt like I found my place. I was worried about having to choose between those two houses towards the end. There were two other houses where I didn't have such awesome experiences, but I felt like I just needed more time to get to know them. When we ranked, I wanted to drop the same two houses I had tried to drop the first night; nothing had changed in my experiences there and I didn't feel like they were for me. There was also another house where I had an okay experience, but it just didn't feel right. So those were the three that I ranked at the bottom.

Then when I went back to get my party schedule for the third night, my Rho Chi looked at my schedule and said "I think we should go outside". She showed me my schedule. Somehow I had gone from seven houses the night before to ONE HOUSE. One house the night BEFORE preference night. We were supposed to have three to five houses. And of course the one house was the sorority I had ranked last both of the first two rounds; I felt no chemistry with the girls and was just straight up not interested in that house.

I started crying, and my Rho Chi tried to comfort me by saying how she didn't know why it happened, she could really see me in some of the houses I had wanted, sometimes the computer screws up, and so on. I made the decision to drop out of recruitment, because I knew I didn't want to join that one house that had asked me back. They are a small house and really trying to increase their numbers, and maybe only asked me back because of that!

So I filled out the drop form and left, really embarrassed that I had been a mismatch, and totally distraught that I'm not going to be finding my place in the Greek system here.

There is the very slight possibility I could be offered a snap bid, and some of the houses may do spring recruitment if they need to fill the house, but...I don't know if I would try again to join houses that didn't want me this time around.

I want to know why this happened. I am a normal girl-there's nothing weird about me, I love having fun and hanging out with friends, shopping, the beach, and so on...so why did the sororities that told me how much they loved me, that really seemed like they would fit, not ask me back?

I guess this all means I'm not meant for Greek life, but I'd still like some opinions. I feel totally demoralized by this experience.

I have to say that I am not the least bit sorry for the OP. Once again, we have a case of the "they're not GOOD enough for me-but why do I have NO bid?" All of the NPCs have something incredible about them. When a girl completely turns down certain chapters on her campus because she doesn't feel as though that chapter "felt right" or "fit her" it is her way of saying that she was TOO GOOD for those women.

All of the NPCs have great philanthropies and a chance to get involved! I will use Phi Mu as an example. Did you know that we were the first GLO to start a Philanthropy day? We give millions of dollars to Children's Miracle Network. We give scholarships to women who want to further their education and we have a fund for women who have been victims of circumstance (like Hurricane Katrina). I can honestly (if you let me) say something GREAT about EVERY SINGLE NPC!

To turn down a great group of women who clearly want you shows that you are there for the "parties and reputation" more than what you can do to help other people. That is selfish! Guess what-when you leave college...people don't say "Oh, you were an XYZ-you must have been liked by everyone and very popular on campus!" No, people say, "Wow, you were involved with giving back to your community and yet you still maintained a great GPA or you have an incredible resume, to boot!"

If you are smart, you will realize that those sororities you turned down because you didn't "fit in" or "feel comfortable with" were great opportunities for you to give back to the community and make great friends, in the process. To this day, my sisters are the ones that I thank for making Penn State feel smaller and more welcoming. Had it not been for my sisters, I may not have stayed at such a big school.

Do I feel sorry for you-NO! Should you reconsider the chapters that were willing to give you a chance-YES!

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by als463

I have to say that I am not the least bit sorry for the OP. Once again, we have a case of the "they're not GOOD enough for me-but why do I have NO bid?" All of the NPCs have something incredible about them. When a girl completely turns down certain chapters on her campus because she doesn't feel as though that chapter "felt right" or "fit her" it is her way of saying that she was TOO GOOD for those women.

All of the NPCs have great philanthropies and a chance to get involved! I will use Phi Mu as an example. Did you know that we were the first GLO to start a Philanthropy day? We give millions of dollars to Children's Miracle Network. We give scholarships to women who want to further their education and we have a fund for women who have been victims of circumstance (like Hurricane Katrina). I can honestly (if you let me) say something GREAT about EVERY SINGLE NPC!

To turn down a great group of women who clearly want you shows that you are there for the "parties and reputation" more than what you can do to help other people. That is selfish! Guess what-when you leave college...people don't say "Oh, you were an XYZ-you must have been liked by everyone and very popular on campus!" No, people say, "Wow, you were involved with giving back to your community and yet you still maintained a great GPA or you have an incredible resume, to boot!"

If you are smart, you will realize that those sororities you turned down because you didn't "fit in" or "feel comfortable with" were great opportunities for you to give back to the community and make great friends, in the process. To this day, my sisters are the ones that I thank for making Penn State feel smaller and more welcoming. Had it not been for my sisters, I may not have stayed at such a big school.

Do I feel sorry for you-NO! Should you reconsider the chapters that were willing to give you a chance-YES!

Ditto to this ... I'm getting sick and tired of all the "pitty parties" going on around the GC board lately. I am sorry that recruitment didn't turn out the way that some PNMs would have hoped but they seem to be doing it to themselves when it comes to recruitment by only wanting a certain outcome.