Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

KSigkid · #1 09-07-2009, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

I had the opposite problem. I got married when I was 23, and more than one person (including my MIL, who herself got married at age 20

) told me they thought I was getting married too young.

I realize this is a thread for "single ladies," but just wanted to jump in and say that my wife and I heard the same thing. We got married when I was 24 (she was 23), and we hear "Oh my gosh, you guys were too young!" quite a bit.

ADqtPiMel · #2 09-07-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSigkid

I realize this is a thread for "single ladies," but just wanted to jump in and say that my wife and I heard the same thing. We got married when I was 24 (she was 23), and we hear "Oh my gosh, you guys were too young!" quite a bit.

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

Jimmy Choo · #3 09-08-2009, 12:45 AM

Even though I finally decided to take the plunge with my other half and get engaged I still get annoyed for others who are pestered with this question. I have HS school classmates who have been married/had children/gotten divorced/gotten remarried FOUR TIMES since we graduated....15 years ago. Gee, wonder why I waited to pull the trigger??

KSUViolet06 · #4 09-08-2009, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

The majority of my friends got married at 23/24/25ish. I think they felt it was a good age because they were done with college, and starting jobs or grad school (and some who are continuing with school don't want to wait until after med/grad/law school to get married, esp. if they've been dating for a long time).

Munchkin03 · #5 09-08-2009, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

Do you think it's regional? Where I grew up, most people do get married at that age. I think it's coastal California and the Bos-Wash corridor where younger marriages are looked askance--the assumption is that either you did it because you were pregnant, or your parents didn't want you to live together before marriage. Not that I think either of those are valid reasons to get married, but it seems to make more sense to people here than the usual reason--that you get married because you love someone and you want to.

KSUViolet06 · #6 09-08-2009, 11:25 AM

In terms of regional differences: I find that 23-25ish is the common age for peeps to get married where I live now (NE Ohio). Most marry within a year or so of graduating college.

However, I grew up in So Cal, and I find that none of my longtime friends from that area (SD/LA/etc) were engaged or married before 28 or so. I had a friend ask me if my engaged 23 year old sorority sister was "super religious or something."

Munchkin03 · #7 09-08-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

In terms of regional differences: I find that 23-25ish is the common age for peeps to get married where I live now (NE Ohio). Most marry within a year or so of graduating college.

However, I grew up in So Cal, and I find that none of my longtime friends from that area (SD/LA/etc) were engaged or married before 28 or so. I had a friend ask me if my engaged 23 year old sorority sister was "super religious or something."

That was pretty much the crux of what I was getting at. I even mentioned coastal California!

christiangirl · #8 09-08-2009, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

However, I grew up in So Cal, and I find that none of my longtime friends from that area (SD/LA/etc) were engaged or married before 28 or so.

See, I grew up in the Bay Area and a HUGE number of people I knew from HS are married or engaged already. I wouldn't expect that from that area, but there ya go. Actually....now that I think about it, a lot of my hs friends are married/engaged but most of the people I knew but didn't hang out with are still single. Hmmm...

KSigkid · #9 09-08-2009, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Do you think it's regional? Where I grew up, most people do get married at that age. I think it's coastal California and the Bos-Wash corridor where younger marriages are looked askance--the assumption is that either you did it because you were pregnant, or your parents didn't want you to live together before marriage. Not that I think either of those are valid reasons to get married, but it seems to make more sense to people here than the usual reason--that you get married because you love someone and you want to.

I'd buy that explanation.

WCsweet<3 · #10 09-09-2009, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSigkid

I realize this is a thread for "single ladies," but just wanted to jump in and say that my wife and I heard the same thing. We got married when I was 24 (she was 23), and we hear "Oh my gosh, you guys were too young!" quite a bit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Do you think it's regional? Where I grew up, most people do get married at that age. I think it's coastal California and the Bos-Wash corridor where younger marriages are looked askance--the assumption is that either you did it because you were pregnant, or your parents didn't want you to live together before marriage. Not that I think either of those are valid reasons to get married, but it seems to make more sense to people here than the usual reason--that you get married because you love someone and you want to.

You know it's interesting. I have been dating the boyfriend for three years and half the time I get "so you are engaged?" The other half is "don't get to serious!" The pattern has been that the people who are wanting a wedding are not from here (the West Coast) while the waiting people are from the area.

lilzetakitten · #11 09-08-2009, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

We're both 23 and we get that a lot, too. The stunned "Oh my Gaaaaaaaaaaaawd... you're so young!" The thing is, the ONLY person who said this and really knows us is FIL, who also felt that DH should never get married or have kids. Luckily, he also felt that if DH had to get married, I was the person he should marry. Apparently, I'm awesome like that.