Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?" - Page 13

KSUViolet06 · #**181** 09-03-2009, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I do joke though that my sister has been married three times, so between the two of us we're covered.

I laughed out loud.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

As much as I would like to be married and a mother, there are times that the thought frightens me.

This. I find myself being particularly creeped out now that I know people in my age group who are getting divorced already (at 25-30 years old). One girl I know got married at 22 and is in the middle of a divorce right now at age 25. It's sad, yet weird because I thought to myself "aren't we too young for this?"

aephi alum · #**182** 09-04-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

But aephi alum, how else are we supposed to win at life?

LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This. I find myself being particularly creeped out now that I know people in my age group who are getting divorced already (at 25-30 years old). One girl I know got married at 22 and is in the middle of a divorce right now at age 25. It's sad, yet weird because I thought to myself "aren't we too young for this?"

I have two separate friends in their early 30s who have gotten married and gotten divorced. In both cases, their first spouses just ran off one day. One of my friends is remarried with a baby, the other is engaged. It is sad...

Munchkin03 · #**183** 09-04-2009, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

The thing is though, I get from what you've shared about yourself, that if we were single women who had babies with special needs, our families have the resources to assist us (though we're capable on our own) and that we'd still have careers and achieve our goals. Sometimes when I am with my family I feel as if I'm the exception, and not the rule. I do joke though that my sister has been married three times, so between the two of us we're covered.

As much as I would like to be married and a mother, there are times that the thought frightens me.

There's that, but for me it was the realization that babies die or can be very close to death. I've known families where this has happened, but usually there's an underlying factor (drug use, a genetic disorder that should have been recognized) or the mom was told from the beginning that she shouldn't have children. This year, I dealt more with couples who did everything "right" and still the kid died or was very close to it. That scares me a lot.

VandalSquirrel · #**184** 09-07-2009, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I laughed out loud.

I also have two stepsisters, one hase been married twice, the other once, and my stepbrother is older and has never been married. Since I'm going to graduate school and my sisters have kids I am not really pressured much anymore.

This. I find myself being particularly creeped out now that I know people in my age group who are getting divorced already (at 25-30 years old). One girl I know got married at 22 and is in the middle of a divorce right now at age 25. It's sad, yet weird because I thought to myself "aren't we too young for this?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

There's that, but for me it was the realization that babies die or can be very close to death. I've known families where this has happened, but usually there's an underlying factor (drug use, a genetic disorder that should have been recognized) or the mom was told from the beginning that she shouldn't have children. This year, I dealt more with couples who did everything "right" and still the kid died or was very close to it. That scares me a lot.

I love my nephew, but I'm currently traveling with him and he coughed so much he barfed...I almost puked when he puked. I think my sympathetic gag reflex needs to be worked on before I become a parent. I also was with my baby cousin (my 1st cousin's kid, she's 12) and we talked a lot about cousins who had babies young and that it is hard so she can wait until she finishes college. I like that I'm now the good example and someone to be admired instead of pitied. I'd never be able to pick up and travel domestically or internationally, or live in a tent in Alaska for two months if I had a kid at 20. I'm going to try to get her to come visit me while I still live in a college town so she can get excited for college, and hopefully she'll stay in Girl Scouts.

AGDee · #**185** 09-07-2009, 11:41 AM

People will tell you it's different when it's your own kid, with regards to that sympathetic gag reflex. They are lying

You just hope it doesn't happen too often!

KSigkid · #**186** 09-07-2009, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

I had the opposite problem. I got married when I was 23, and more than one person (including my MIL, who herself got married at age 20

) told me they thought I was getting married too young.

I realize this is a thread for "single ladies," but just wanted to jump in and say that my wife and I heard the same thing. We got married when I was 24 (she was 23), and we hear "Oh my gosh, you guys were too young!" quite a bit.

ADqtPiMel · #**187** 09-07-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSigkid

I realize this is a thread for "single ladies," but just wanted to jump in and say that my wife and I heard the same thing. We got married when I was 24 (she was 23), and we hear "Oh my gosh, you guys were too young!" quite a bit.

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

Jimmy Choo · #**188** 09-08-2009, 12:45 AM

Even though I finally decided to take the plunge with my other half and get engaged I still get annoyed for others who are pestered with this question. I have HS school classmates who have been married/had children/gotten divorced/gotten remarried FOUR TIMES since we graduated....15 years ago. Gee, wonder why I waited to pull the trigger??

KSUViolet06 · #**189** 09-08-2009, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

The majority of my friends got married at 23/24/25ish. I think they felt it was a good age because they were done with college, and starting jobs or grad school (and some who are continuing with school don't want to wait until after med/grad/law school to get married, esp. if they've been dating for a long time).

Munchkin03 · #**190** 09-08-2009, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

Do you think it's regional? Where I grew up, most people do get married at that age. I think it's coastal California and the Bos-Wash corridor where younger marriages are looked askance--the assumption is that either you did it because you were pregnant, or your parents didn't want you to live together before marriage. Not that I think either of those are valid reasons to get married, but it seems to make more sense to people here than the usual reason--that you get married because you love someone and you want to.

KSUViolet06 · #**191** 09-08-2009, 11:25 AM

In terms of regional differences: I find that 23-25ish is the common age for peeps to get married where I live now (NE Ohio). Most marry within a year or so of graduating college.

However, I grew up in So Cal, and I find that none of my longtime friends from that area (SD/LA/etc) were engaged or married before 28 or so. I had a friend ask me if my engaged 23 year old sorority sister was "super religious or something."

Munchkin03 · #**192** 09-08-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

In terms of regional differences: I find that 23-25ish is the common age for peeps to get married where I live now (NE Ohio). Most marry within a year or so of graduating college.

However, I grew up in So Cal, and I find that none of my longtime friends from that area (SD/LA/etc) were engaged or married before 28 or so. I had a friend ask me if my engaged 23 year old sorority sister was "super religious or something."

That was pretty much the crux of what I was getting at. I even mentioned coastal California!

KSigkid · #**193** 09-08-2009, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Do you think it's regional? Where I grew up, most people do get married at that age. I think it's coastal California and the Bos-Wash corridor where younger marriages are looked askance--the assumption is that either you did it because you were pregnant, or your parents didn't want you to live together before marriage. Not that I think either of those are valid reasons to get married, but it seems to make more sense to people here than the usual reason--that you get married because you love someone and you want to.

I'd buy that explanation.

lilzetakitten · #**194** 09-08-2009, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

Same here -- we were both 23 when we married. I get a lot of people asking me why we got married so young. I'm like, "Uh...because we felt like it?"

We're both 23 and we get that a lot, too. The stunned "Oh my Gaaaaaaaaaaaawd... you're so young!" The thing is, the ONLY person who said this and really knows us is FIL, who also felt that DH should never get married or have kids. Luckily, he also felt that if DH had to get married, I was the person he should marry. Apparently, I'm awesome like that.

christiangirl · #**195** 09-08-2009, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

However, I grew up in So Cal, and I find that none of my longtime friends from that area (SD/LA/etc) were engaged or married before 28 or so.

See, I grew up in the Bay Area and a HUGE number of people I knew from HS are married or engaged already. I wouldn't expect that from that area, but there ya go. Actually....now that I think about it, a lot of my hs friends are married/engaged but most of the people I knew but didn't hang out with are still single. Hmmm...