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Yes, do send a thank you. This will be appropriate if she did write the rec, and could spur her into doing it if she has not done so. Beyond that, there is nothing you can do by way of contacting the school,etc.
As a backup, do you have another alum you can contact to write you one? The second alum does not need to know anything about your contact with the first one.
Also, be sure to give any alum you contact for recs your resume and a stamped envelope addressed to the chapter house. This stamped envelope really helps expedite the process.
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