Why? Sophomore UGA story

[violetpretty]

We still don't have the whole story here. We do know that this PNM was cut by 11 of her 12 favorites after round 1. Did she go to round 2? Did she go to round 3? Did she try to give all the groups a chance and "get cut by all of them" before pref?

I might have some sympathy if this girl all chapters another chance and was cut from ALL chapters, but if she saw her list and decided none of those 6 were good enough for her, without giving them another chance, sorry, no sympathy from me.

[MaggieXi]

Also, on certain campus' (and this may or may not apply to UGA) but if a girl is very vocal about how/why she doesn't like XYZ or thinks she is better than XYZ prior to going through recruitment- other sorority women could find out and this could be a huge negative factor towards the PNM.

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

We still don't have the whole story here. We do know that this PNM was cut by 11 of her 12 favorites after round 1. Did she go to round 2? Did she go to round 3? Did she try to give all the groups a chance and "get cut by all of them" before pref?

I might have some sympathy if this girl all chapters another chance and was cut from ALL chapters, but if she saw her list and decided none of those 6 were good enough for her, without giving them another chance, sorry, no sympathy from me.

I wasn't going to say anything since it does not matter at this point, but as long as we are being asked to come up with reasons why this recruitment situation did not work out, I have a comment and a question.

Comment- I was at UGA over 10 years ago for part of my undergrad experience, and so things might have changed- but while there are "tiers" at UGA, the fact is all of the sorority chapters there have a lot going for them and the majority are pretty stunning across the board. This is in contrast to most other southern schools I know where quality and stability can vary a great deal.

Point being, if daughter came into this not interested in 1/3 of the chapters- that sounds like coming into the process cutting certain chapters from the list based on them "not being good enough". At other schools, one might expect a person taking this approach to only want a few houses- but at Georgia to only want 2/3 of the houses seems like a "not good enough" play to me.

Question- There is something here that makes no sense to me and could shed light on this whole affair,

Based on the posts we have a PNM who sounds like a solid candidate on paper, who came from a Greek background (meaning parents/family members would have an idea what goes on and what rush entails), who has a lot of solid recs lined up and who went to UGA as a freshman. In other words, this is someone who would come into the rush process likely to be a lot more aware of how it works than many other PNMs.

So why wait to sophomore year to rush at a highly competitive campus? If this is really what the PNM wanted going into college, the most basic research would have quickly shown that rushing as a freshman was essential.

[snakealum]

Snake is a Sigma Nu snake.
It's not my daughter, it's my goddaughter (fraternity brother's daughter, I have only sons, though, so I guess I treat her almost as mine)
War analogy was a little harsh, I apologize - I'm a guy, that's how we talk!

The 12 choices I referred to were for her first round of cuts, she received 10 return invites for Round 2 and went to all 10. Yes, I am sure that she had SOME preconceived notions as everyone does. I would even add that the sororities themselves have them, how else could the first couple of cut rounds be done with so little interaction? Seven sororities cut her after a ten minute conversation. Did they have a totally open mind, maximizing their options? Let's not condemn a PNM for what we support on the Sorority side.

I do believe that she went into things with an open mind. I will say that she was thrilled with the visits she had and felt welcomed at all houses as well. That is why only one invite back the next morning (3rd round) hit her so hard. She did gather herself up and go to that house on Saturday but was called Saturday night and released.

For those of you that asked, she did not rush as a freshman since both her Mom & Dad had pledged as Sophomores and had no problems (also at UGA but many moons ago). Their feeling was that you should get your feet on the ground and then rush. When she got to school, she did realize that it was a potential negative and she worked very hard to make sure that she did everything "right" this fall.

The system worked at the macro level. All you have to do is look at the hundreds/thousands of smiling faces this week in Athens. All I'm saying is that, from my perspective, a bias against upperclassmen might have played a significant part in this story and I was curious if that was true. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't, I accept we will never know. I must say after reading some of the responses, however, that I would be careful to not blindly and unquestioningly support a system that is primarily defended by blaming and/or casting doubts about a fine young lady. Life is not fair but that doesn't mean we quit trying to make it fairer and better. For now that is not my fight, I have sons.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by snakealum

Let's not condemn a PNM for what we support on the Sorority side.

No one "supports" the fact that the sororities have so little time with the rushees. When you can come up with a better system to introduce 1000 women into groups that isn't 1) a random lottery or 2) doesn't take up the majority of their time for weeks and weeks, we'll be glad to listen.

Believe me, the women in the sororities are not having fun cutting rushees.

[vaisbest]

Since I am from up north, I felt a need to clarify something here. UGA sounds like a fun school but really, it is not the hardest or best school so to say that all of the sororities are amazing is a bit far fetched. We are not talking about Vandy or Vassar here. And since when did get a bid mean that you are better than....

Next, it is so silly to make others feel at fault for a popularity contest gone bad. The few minutes spent with a girl does not qualify anyone to judge whether they fit in. It is a very random, very power driven week in the life of a very impressionable 18 year old that can make them a few instant friends or help them start off college with a very bad taste in their mouths.

Last, girls you don't have to pay dues and go through this to have fun in college. you should do this because you actually like the process and want to be a part of it. it is like grad school....not required but can be good for some. so relax and take the money you saved and go do something else that makes you happy.

Originally Posted by vaisbest

Since I am from up north, I felt a need to clarify something here. UGA sounds like a fun school but really, it is not the hardest or best school so to say that all of the sororities are amazing is a bit far fetched. We are not talking about Vandy or Vassar here. And since when did get a bid mean that you are better than....

Next, it is so silly to make others feel at fault for a popularity contest gone bad. The few minutes spent with a girl does not qualify anyone to judge whether they fit in. It is a very random, very power driven week in the life of a very impressionable 18 year old that can make them a few instant friends or help them start off college with a very bad taste in their mouths.

Last, girls you don't have to pay dues and go through this to have fun in college. you should do this because you actually like the process and want to be a part of it. it is like grad school....not required but can be good for some. so relax and take the money you saved and go do something else that makes you happy.

No one said that UGA's the best or the hardest. No one said that getting a bid makes you better than those who didn't.

Your "clarification" is unnecessary. You are dismissed.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by OTW

No one said that UGA's the best or the hardest. No one said that getting a bid makes you better than those who didn't.

If anything, we tend to try to tell PNMs who don't get bids that Greek Life ISN'T the most important part of college life. I don't recall anyone saying in this thread that those who do get bids are better than anyone.

ETA: Proof of that:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Cuts are tough for the girls and their friends/families who have to comfort them, but at the end of the day, college (and life) goes on. Rejection is tough for anyone, and probably even moreso for young college aged women who have been successful at everything else.

The best thing we can do is say that we're sorry things didn't work out. The best thing you can do as a friend/mom/aunt/whomever is encourage her to enjoy the rest of her college experience, whether that means looking into COB opportunities (if there are any at UGA) or just forgeting about Greek Life, getting involved elsewhere, and moving on.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by OTW

No one said that UGA's the best or the hardest. No one said that getting a bid makes you better than those who didn't.

Your "clarification" is unnecessary. You are dismissed.

Thanks!

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by vaisbest

Since I am from up north, I felt a need to clarify something here. UGA sounds like a fun school but really, it is not the hardest or best school so to say that all of the sororities are amazing is a bit far fetched. We are not talking about Vandy or Vassar here. And since when did get a bid mean that you are better than....

Next, it is so silly to make others feel at fault for a popularity contest gone bad. The few minutes spent with a girl does not qualify anyone to judge whether they fit in. It is a very random, very power driven week in the life of a very impressionable 18 year old that can make them a few instant friends or help them start off college with a very bad taste in their mouths.

Last, girls you don't have to pay dues and go through this to have fun in college. you should do this because you actually like the process and want to be a part of it. it is like grad school....not required but can be good for some. so relax and take the money you saved and go do something else that makes you happy.

Just wondering, are you in a Sorority? Not that you need to be in order to have an opinion, but words have more worth when you have some experience or evidence to back them up.

Although I agree with you that you do not need to go Greek to have a fulfilling and fun college career, there are many that are members and who really enjoy their experiences during and after college, and to judge them is unfair.

Yes, rush is difficult on many levels. I do understand the heartbreak (if you ever care to hear my story I would love to share it). But girls go into it being told that there are no guarantees and therefore they need to be prepared for the possibility of not being offered a bid.

As far as who gives someone the right to judge others based on a 10-minute conversation - I'd say that anyone who has say in who gets into an organization, job, etc., has the right. The criteria may change (and face it, even in jobs, people are judged on seemingly superficial things when you have to choose one person over another - or hundreds). I suggest that if you are going to bash a process, at least back it up with some evidence. Otherwise, you just come off sounding bitter and ignorant.

PS before you bash me, please look up the definition for ignorant.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Just wondering, are you in a Sorority?

Bottom-tier from....New Jersey County Tech at Newark, I would guess.