Why? Sophomore UGA story

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by baci

In a realistic world here, no one can feel comfortable in all of the groups and feel they can be a part/fit into all of the groups to maximize their options. Sure she can go to all of the parties and try, but having 12 that she was "solidly interested" in was a very high percentage. From my experiences, young women usually are not that openminded and do not have an interest in that many groups.

I disagree. She is a sophomore, which means she has been on campus long enough to know the stereotypes, "tiers", etc.

There is no way that there are SIX out of SEVENTEEN chapters that someone just "wouldn't fit into or feel comfortable in"

One or two, maybe, but six is ridiculous.

She basically ruined her chances the second rush started by placing a big red X on those six chapters.

Honestly, she would not have been an asset in one of those other grouops because she did not have the desire/compassion to join. That is one thing I always keep in mind.

Well if those chapters weren't good enough for her, I suppose it's a good thing she ruled those out early on so that those chapters could choose women who did want to be there that would make good members.

But if she's not going to maximize her options, there's no reason why everyone needs to be upset about her not receiving a bid. I can't guarantee that she would have received a bid to any of those houses, but it's a possibility, right? We'll never know b/c she ruled them out early on.

I can't count on all my fingers and toes the number of stories on here where women didn't get their "top choice" houses, and were somewhat disappointed on bid day, but then turned around their attitude and realized how wonderful this house was and how they wouldn't have it any other way.

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

There is no way that there are SIX out of SEVENTEEN chapters that someone just "wouldn't fit into or feel comfortable in"

One or two, maybe, but six is ridiculous.

She basically ruined her chances the second rush started by placing a big red X on those six chapters.

I agree, but the caveat is that a PNM not feeling she would be comfortable in 6 chapters is outrageous...but it's not always outrageous that a PNM would not feel comfortable in 6 chapters (out of 17) based on how they presented themselves during rush. At my campus I think I could fit into the overwhelming majority of chapters (if not all of them), but during recruitment we all know of chapters that come off poorly despite their incredible group personality. Sometimes they act stressed, sometimes defeated, sometimes reeking of trying too hard, etc. That act will undoubtedly lead women astray about their true personality...after bid day, often these chapters will be some of the most fun and down to earth!

That's why I'd advise women (only at a competitive school where COB/COR opportunities are practically non-existent and often as competitive as the original formal recruitment) to accept any bid and roll with it for a few weeks. Often times a chapter will scare away PNMs based on poor recruiting skills (often fostered by an intense or negative recruitment chair or recruitment advisor) but in reality they are a very fun group of women.

[texas*princess]

^^ I agree that poor recruitment skills could be a factor in some cases, however, in this case, the OP said, and I quote:

1 - Maybe, but she did have 12 solidly on her "very
interested in" list going in. She was cut by all but one after second round.

Which means she made up her mind, without having attended a single recruitment party, which ones she felt were 'acceptable'. So in this case, the recruitment skills had nothing to do with it.

[violetpretty]

We still don't have the whole story here. We do know that this PNM was cut by 11 of her 12 favorites after round 1. Did she go to round 2? Did she go to round 3? Did she try to give all the groups a chance and "get cut by all of them" before pref?

I might have some sympathy if this girl all chapters another chance and was cut from ALL chapters, but if she saw her list and decided none of those 6 were good enough for her, without giving them another chance, sorry, no sympathy from me.

[MaggieXi]

Also, on certain campus' (and this may or may not apply to UGA) but if a girl is very vocal about how/why she doesn't like XYZ or thinks she is better than XYZ prior to going through recruitment- other sorority women could find out and this could be a huge negative factor towards the PNM.

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

We still don't have the whole story here. We do know that this PNM was cut by 11 of her 12 favorites after round 1. Did she go to round 2? Did she go to round 3? Did she try to give all the groups a chance and "get cut by all of them" before pref?

I might have some sympathy if this girl all chapters another chance and was cut from ALL chapters, but if she saw her list and decided none of those 6 were good enough for her, without giving them another chance, sorry, no sympathy from me.

I wasn't going to say anything since it does not matter at this point, but as long as we are being asked to come up with reasons why this recruitment situation did not work out, I have a comment and a question.

Comment- I was at UGA over 10 years ago for part of my undergrad experience, and so things might have changed- but while there are "tiers" at UGA, the fact is all of the sorority chapters there have a lot going for them and the majority are pretty stunning across the board. This is in contrast to most other southern schools I know where quality and stability can vary a great deal.

Point being, if daughter came into this not interested in 1/3 of the chapters- that sounds like coming into the process cutting certain chapters from the list based on them "not being good enough". At other schools, one might expect a person taking this approach to only want a few houses- but at Georgia to only want 2/3 of the houses seems like a "not good enough" play to me.

Question- There is something here that makes no sense to me and could shed light on this whole affair,

Based on the posts we have a PNM who sounds like a solid candidate on paper, who came from a Greek background (meaning parents/family members would have an idea what goes on and what rush entails), who has a lot of solid recs lined up and who went to UGA as a freshman. In other words, this is someone who would come into the rush process likely to be a lot more aware of how it works than many other PNMs.

So why wait to sophomore year to rush at a highly competitive campus? If this is really what the PNM wanted going into college, the most basic research would have quickly shown that rushing as a freshman was essential.

[snakealum]

Snake is a Sigma Nu snake.
It's not my daughter, it's my goddaughter (fraternity brother's daughter, I have only sons, though, so I guess I treat her almost as mine)
War analogy was a little harsh, I apologize - I'm a guy, that's how we talk!

The 12 choices I referred to were for her first round of cuts, she received 10 return invites for Round 2 and went to all 10. Yes, I am sure that she had SOME preconceived notions as everyone does. I would even add that the sororities themselves have them, how else could the first couple of cut rounds be done with so little interaction? Seven sororities cut her after a ten minute conversation. Did they have a totally open mind, maximizing their options? Let's not condemn a PNM for what we support on the Sorority side.

I do believe that she went into things with an open mind. I will say that she was thrilled with the visits she had and felt welcomed at all houses as well. That is why only one invite back the next morning (3rd round) hit her so hard. She did gather herself up and go to that house on Saturday but was called Saturday night and released.

For those of you that asked, she did not rush as a freshman since both her Mom & Dad had pledged as Sophomores and had no problems (also at UGA but many moons ago). Their feeling was that you should get your feet on the ground and then rush. When she got to school, she did realize that it was a potential negative and she worked very hard to make sure that she did everything "right" this fall.

The system worked at the macro level. All you have to do is look at the hundreds/thousands of smiling faces this week in Athens. All I'm saying is that, from my perspective, a bias against upperclassmen might have played a significant part in this story and I was curious if that was true. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't, I accept we will never know. I must say after reading some of the responses, however, that I would be careful to not blindly and unquestioningly support a system that is primarily defended by blaming and/or casting doubts about a fine young lady. Life is not fair but that doesn't mean we quit trying to make it fairer and better. For now that is not my fight, I have sons.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by snakealum

Let's not condemn a PNM for what we support on the Sorority side.

No one "supports" the fact that the sororities have so little time with the rushees. When you can come up with a better system to introduce 1000 women into groups that isn't 1) a random lottery or 2) doesn't take up the majority of their time for weeks and weeks, we'll be glad to listen.

Believe me, the women in the sororities are not having fun cutting rushees.

[vaisbest]

Since I am from up north, I felt a need to clarify something here. UGA sounds like a fun school but really, it is not the hardest or best school so to say that all of the sororities are amazing is a bit far fetched. We are not talking about Vandy or Vassar here. And since when did get a bid mean that you are better than....

Next, it is so silly to make others feel at fault for a popularity contest gone bad. The few minutes spent with a girl does not qualify anyone to judge whether they fit in. It is a very random, very power driven week in the life of a very impressionable 18 year old that can make them a few instant friends or help them start off college with a very bad taste in their mouths.

Last, girls you don't have to pay dues and go through this to have fun in college. you should do this because you actually like the process and want to be a part of it. it is like grad school....not required but can be good for some. so relax and take the money you saved and go do something else that makes you happy.