Open Letter 8

[true_story]

Dear Crawfish,
I will NEVER eat you again. You could have at least told me before I tried you that you would make me sick. I can't believe you! Honestly, you had a lil kick to you, but you weren't even that good for me to be feeling so bad. And I missed work! You owe me money for the hours I missed at work. Ugh, I can't even talk to you right now, you disgust me.

Sincerely,
The poor, poor young lady with the allergic reaction

[RedefinedDiva]

Dear Crawfish,

I am sorry that true_story had such a bad experience with you, but you know that I love you TO DEATH!!! This New Orleans girl is DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE with you!! I can't live without you! It is because of you that I have lived in the South so long. What in the world will I do if I were to move to a city or state that does not have you? Perish the thought!!

Keep on doing what you do. In fact, I might run out and get five pounds today.

RD

[MeezDiscreet]

Originally Posted by RedefinedDiva

Dear Crawfish,

I am sorry that true_story had such a bad experience with you, but you know that I love you TO DEATH!!! This New Orleans girl is DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE with you!! I can't live without you! It is because of you that I have lived in the South so long. What in the world will I do if I were to move to a city or state that does not have you? Perish the thought!!

Keep on doing what you do. In fact, I might run out and get five pounds today.

RD

Dear RD,

I'm with you on this one!!!!!!!!!!

[true_story]

Originally Posted by MeezDiscreet

Dear RD,

I'm with you on this one!!!!!!!!!!

Dear RD, MeezDiscreet, & Crawfish,

You all can have each other! I'm in love with crab cakes anyway

[Spinderella]

Dear Fiber & Water (also known as healthy lifestyle),

I am really trying to get into you, but you are causing me problems. Eat fiber and drink water they say. Well for the past 7 days I have adapted to doing just this and it is great; I feel full all the time because all this water expands the luscious fiber in my stomach making me feel satisfied.

But fiber, no matter how good for me you are, you are low brow evil!

I stand in elevators or go around people and think they are the ones with the air filtration problems. But when I am finally alone, I realize it is ME who needs to attach an air filter to my derriere. Fiber, you are making me feel very trifling, especially when that lady walked into my space after you quietly AND discretely slipped your byproduct out of my rear.

Fiber and water, you make me regular and I am catching up on reading about Lil'Wayne but dayum, I didn't have time to sit before, and I don't have time now. But admittedly my dearest friends, fiber and water, I barely read the first paragraphs and its over, so thanks for making things short, sweet and to the point. It just that I don't need 2-3 attempts per day to finish reading about Lil'Wayne.

Fiber and water, I am going to stick with our new relationship, but please speed up the process of me adapting. I need friends and I can't go around explaining "Excuse me for smelling like moldy cardboard soaked in rotten eggs, I am trying to increase my fiber intake".

This random triflingness has to stop.

Thanks in advance for helping me to lose atleast 10 pounds by September.

[BlessedOne04]

Dear S.,
Please don't be mad that I choose the love of God over you. It was a clear choice, He always is there when I want to talk, I don't have to hunt him down for conversation and best of all He only expects me to do what is right. So although you thought you were the one, I know you need to get yourself together before you step to anyone else cause I'm not havin' it! Take care!

Blessed

[luv4denzel]

Dear Mama,

It's hard to believe that today marks two years since you left us. I miss you so very much. I tried not to cry, but I couldn't hold the tears back. I turned my myspace page into a tribute to you, with that Boys II Men song you liked so much playing in the background. Looking at your pictures, listening to that song just overwhelmed me, and I couldn't stop crying. Mama, so much is happening, and I wish you were here to share it with me. I wore your favorite color today. Do you like it? Do you miss me? Do you see me when I cry? Do you see me when I laugh? I hope so. I know today is not supposed to be a sad day, for this is the day God came to get you and bring you Home. Alexis and I have been laughing about you today. She went to feed the ducks and put flowers down where y'all spent your last outing together. She's wearing her cancer awareness gear today, and keeping with our Will Smith Summertime Movie Tradition, she went to see Hancock. We're doing well, Mama. I sure hope you're proud. And your grandsons? Well, you're looking down and watching over them, so you know they're driving me nuts! But they miss you, too. I'm doing the best I can raising them, so please continue to be the angel on my shoulder. I know you are resting in our Father's kingdom now, but I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, how much I miss you, and Alexis, the boys, and I will continue to celebrate your life. Mama, loving you is like food to my soul...


All my love,
Your devoted, first-born daughter

[RedefinedDiva]

Dear Essence Magazine:

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for the live streaming feeds of the Essence Music Festival!! I couldn't be there physically, but I was able to watch online!! And EVERYONE knows how much I loving watching things online! LOL!

One note: Tighten your acts up. It's 1:29 a.m. and I am up watching Frankie! I am tired as hell right now and I know I have seen Frankie 50-11 times, but I just cannot go to sleep on him! However, I know folks are getting tired of Maze taking the stage AFTER 12:30 a.m. EACH and EVERY year. Acts should NOT be hitting the stage at 12:47 a.m.

But, I'm NOT complaining!!

Thanks again!!!

~RD

P.S. Thanks for the heads-up on Beyonce!! I WILL be in the building for the "Beyonce Experience" next year!

P.P.S. All I need to hear is "Happy Feelings," "Joy & Pain," and of course, "Before I Let Go." Then I'm going to bed. Too bad I've seen Frankie enough times to know that's usually the last two songs. So, looks like I'll be up until well past 2 a.m. Sigh....

:Still NOT complaining about a free concert: (LOL!)

It's 2:06 a.m. and Frankie is just now singing "Before I Let Go"... and yes, I am doing the Bus Stop up in here!!

[christiangirl]

Dear God,

Thank you for having the foresight to making me pay my credit card bill 2 weeks early. You knew I was gonna forget and it was very nice of you to help me with my shortcomings. My panic turned to delight and I just wanted to say "Thanks."



P.S. Even though I'm really sad that my GPA didn't go up this semester, I'm glad that it didn't go down any either. Thanks for my 3.5, it was really nice of you considering what could've happened.

[CountryGurl]

Dear Mr. You need to get a clue,

I'm not the type of girl that sits around waiting on guys to get their stuff together. Either you shyt or get off the pot! Dang

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

Dear I.A.S.K.

I'm upset that I've seen this photo (in this thread) several times since you posted it and I'm just now realizing that's Jade from Top Model. I was distracted by Eggbert and didn't notice. I guess she finally got the hair she wanted.

Dear virgin roots of the AFRO-american descent:
It has been 9 weeks since I have used a relaxer. Yes, I am going to try this natural thing and hopefully I will last. However, my beautiful, kinky virgin roots, I need a little cooperation from you. I cannot have you poofing up everytime a smidget of humidity touches you. Everyday, you are making me want to run to the beauty supply store and get a.... well, you know.... a relaxer. I can't be seen walking around with relaxed hair attached to an afro. It's just not a good look.

Thanks, and that is all.

Me