I Don't Date Outside of My Race...

[starang21]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I was trying to get understanding.

but you said you didn't want to read the books.

[Little32]

@CheerfulGreek: You were looking for a validation of your perspective, not understanding (because if you were looking for the latter, than a bit of reading and research might be necessary). When you didn't get that you decided to "remain clueless," which essentially means I am right even if y'all don't agree. That's okay--I guess.

[PrettyInPink777]

Originally Posted by Little32

@CheerfulGreek: You were looking for a validation of your perspective, not understanding (because if you were looking for the latter, than a bit of reading and research might be necessary). When you didn't get that you decided to "remain clueless," which essentially means I am right even if y'all don't agree. That's okay--I guess.

Exactly my point, soror.

Cheerful Greek, it's not a problem at all.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Little32

@CheerfulGreek: You were looking for a validation of your perspective, not understanding (because if you were looking for the latter, than a bit of reading and research might be necessary). When you didn't get that you decided to "remain clueless," which essentially means I am right even if y'all don't agree. That's okay--I guess.

I'm clueless as of why, because it's pretty shallow for someone to say "Oh, he shouldn't be with her because she's white."

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I'm clueless as of why, because it's pretty shallow for someone to say "Oh, he shouldn't be with her because she's white."

Sweetie, now are you being obstinate or do you really NOT understand? I do not think that is what most people are saying (in bolded)--what they are saying is that these men prey on some types of women for baseless reasons and are derogatory and bigoted to the women in their same group...

It is one thing that a man sees a woman and is physically attracted to her, gets to know her more and decides he likes being around her and wants to get to know her more in a dating capacity and the man happens to be Black and the woman happens to be White...

It is another thing that this same Black man says that ALL BLACK WOMEN are bitches and that he hates them because they are not {insert derogatory comment here}--so he going to date anything BUT BLACK... That is what we are talking about... That is ALL we are discussing...

The conclusions we all have come to is:

• That these men are idiots.
  
• They are one less person to think about at Christmastime.

And we have sort of moved on to the kids that result from these liaisons and their self-esteems, which is a very real personal issue for me...

It says nothing about your situation. If you have found a young man that enjoys your company and treats you respectfully and he happens to be Black, I wish you all the best in your relationship.

But, after discussing a variety of topics with you, I really think you can benefit from reading and educating yourself with references rather than solely relying on this young man for his culture. So that when you encounter that awkwardness, you are better prepared when you communicate with your loved ones. Hey, you can take it or leave my advice. Besides, how come you desire cluelessness? Do you have anything we all need to know?

And if your "boyfriend" is telling you not to interact with Black women, I am here to tell you that is full of shit and EFF that... You had better make some Sistahfriends and not the bootylicious subculture--because hayle no, that is not it... You know what I am talking about... Let me know, because we can assist you in what to say and do...


Now with that said, I have something for you in the News and Views thread!!!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Sweetie, now are you being obstinate or do you really NOT understand? I do not think that is what most people are saying (in bolded)--what they are saying is that these men prey on some types of women for baseless reasons and are derogatory and bigoted to the women in their same group...

It is one thing that a man sees a woman and is physically attracted to her, gets to know her more and decides he likes being around her and wants to get to know her more in a dating capacity and the man happens to be Black and the woman happens to be White...

It is another thing that this same Black man says that ALL BLACK WOMEN are bitches and that he hates them because they are not {insert derogatory comment here}--so he going to date anything BUT BLACK... That is what we are talking about... That is ALL we are discussing...

The conclusions we all have come to is:

• That these men are idiots.
• They are one less person to think about at Christmastime.

And we have sort of moved on to the kids that result from these liaisons and their self-esteems, which is a very real personal issue for me...

It says nothing about your situation. If you have found a young man that enjoys your company and treats you respectfully and he happens to be Black, I wish you all the best in your relationship.

But, after discussing a variety of topics with you, I really think you can benefit from reading and educating yourself with references rather than solely relying on this young man for his culture. So that when you encounter that awkwardness, you are better prepared when you communicate with your loved ones. Hey, you can take it or leave my advice. Besides, how come you desire cluelessness? Do you have anything we all need to know?

And if your "boyfriend" is telling you not to interact with Black women, I am here to tell you that is full of shit and EFF that... You had better make some Sistahfriends and not the bootylicious subculture--because hayle no, that is not it... You know what I am talking about... Let me know, because we can assist you in what to say and do...


Now with that said, I have something for you in the News and Views thread!!!

No, I'm not being stubborn at all. I just don't see what the big deal is. Yes, I know what they're talking about. They're talking about black men who only date white women because of their own insecurities. I wouldn't get involved with any guy like that, no matter what race he is. I think at 1st glance though some people automatically form a racist opinion about a black guy if he's with a white woman. If they're a couple of the same race, then their isn't a problem. I don't even think it's a problem if a black guy is with an asian woman or another race, as long as she isn't white.

AKA_Monet, expanding my knowledge is always of interest to me. So I'll read what you want me to read. I honstly don't think it's necessary to do so and I know I won't agree with it, but I'll read whatever it is you want me to read.

My boyfriend, rather white or black, is neither here or there because that's not what's important. I'm not posting on this thread because of the guy I've taken interest in. I'm posting here because I don't agree with some of the opinions that have been posted.

AKA_Monet, I wouldn't get involved with anyone romantically or on a friendship level who tells me who I can or can't interact with. lol lol lol @ the "bootylicious" comment. I just moved here not too long ago to go to vet school, so I don't have a lot of friends here if any at all, but I always pick and choose my friends carefully. I don't get involved in friendships based on race, so as far as meeting "sister friends" is concerned, I don't have a problem with that, but I wouldn't share any of my romantic business with an outsider. Black or white. I think anyone who tries to tell someone else not to interact with a particular group of people is very shallow and prejudice. I think intelligent people who have a strong personal motivation to be nonprejudiced tend to harbor less implicit bias towards other groups. Some people who are good at using logic and willpower to control their more primitive urges, exhibit less implicit bias.

Which thread are you referring to in the news and views forum?

[starang21]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

AKA_Monet, expanding my knowledge is always of interest to me. So I'll read what you want me to read. I honstly don't think it's necessary to do so and I know I won't agree with it, but I'll read whatever it is you want me to read.

you've already put in your mind that you won't agree, so unfortunately you're not approaching the phenomenon with an open mind trying to learn. thus you're accepting wallowing in ignorance and cluelessness because you don't want to. you're looking at the world through naive, rose tinted glasses.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Which thread are you referring to in the news and views forum?

Here you go...

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Here you go...

I saw it. Thanks for that!

[starang21]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I'm clueless

that's a choice, not a circumstance.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by starang21

but you said you didn't want to read the books.

No I don't want to read them. Just because it's in a book or written by some famous author doesn't make it right.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

No I don't want to read them. Just because it's in a book or written by some famous author doesn't make it right.

and just because you say it's wrong doesn't mean it's wrong, either. in fact, they're way more on the dot about the subject than you are. but you are more than allowed to wallow in your "cluelessness" i.e. ignorance.

[lovehaiku84]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

No I don't want to read them. Just because it's in a book or written by some famous author doesn't make it right.

Stealing a line from a bad movie I saw once..."Are you being deliberately dense?" I honestly think you have zero desire to become more educated about the issue and just want to ask a bunch of questions that you THINK you already know the answer to. I don't hate you, I really don't, so please don't think that. I just think you might not be the brightest crayon in the box.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by lovehaiku84

Stealing a line from a bad movie I saw once..."Are you being deliberately dense?" I honestly think you have zero desire to become more educated about the issue and just want to ask a bunch of questions that you THINK you already know the answer to. I don't hate you, I really don't, so please don't think that. I just think you might not be the brightest crayon in the box.

I don't think I'm being dense, and I don't ask questions I don't already have the right answer to. No one said anyone hated anyone. Maybe I'm not that knowledgeable on this subject, but I refuse to let outsiders determine who I decide to have a love life with. I honestly think when you see a black guy with a white woman in a relationship, you don't give him the benefit of the doubt unless you know him on a personal level. I think at the first look of seeing an interracial couple that you don't know (a black man and a white woman) you automatically start having negative thoughts in your mind. Like "Why is he with her?" or "He's one of those guys who thinks white women are better." You seem to link the two together as a bad thing and because associated concepts are essentially linked together in a person's mind, a person would be faster to respond to a related pair of concepts and in your case a black man and a white woman. Personally, I think this is a form of self interest, and self interest often shores up implicit biases. It's basically to bolster our own status. We are predisposed to ascribe superior characteristics to the groups to which we belong, or in groups, and to exaggerate differences between our own groups and outsiders. I think your basic visual perceptions on interracial relationships are totally skewed.

ETA: You also seem to hold strong emotions with interracial relationships (black and white) and some implicit biases appear to be rooted in strong emotions. Deep within our subconscious, all of us harbor biases, but the problem arises when we act on them. This is also something we can overcome since this is all based on brain activity.

[lovehaiku84]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I don't think I'm being dense, and I don't ask questions I don't already have the right answer to. No one said anyone hated anyone. Maybe I'm not that knowledgeable on this subject, but I refuse to let outsiders determine who I decide to have a love life with. I honestly think when you see a black guy with a white woman in a relationship, you don't give him the benefit of the doubt unless you know him on a personal level. I think at the first look of seeing an interracial couple that you don't know (a black man and a white woman) you automatically start having negative thoughts in your mind. Like "Why is he with her?" or "He's one of those guys who thinks white women are better." You seem to link the two together as a bad thing and because associated concepts are essentially linked together in a person's mind, a person would be faster to respond to a related pair of concepts and in your case a black man and a white woman. Personally, I think this is a form of self interest, and self interest often shores up implicit biases. It's basically to bolster our own status. We are predisposed to ascribe superior characteristics to the groups to which we belong, or in groups, and to exaggerate differences between our own groups and outsiders. I think your basic visual perceptions on interracial relationships are totally skewed.

ETA: You also seem to hold strong emotions with interracial relationships (black and white) and some implicit biases appear to be rooted in strong emotions. Deep within our subconscious, all of us harbor biases, but the problem arises when we act on them. This is also something we can overcome since this is all based on brain activity.

Wow, you read me like a book. Let me guess, you studied Psychology in undergrad? Once again you are showing that you seem to THINK you know something that you don't. I have already stated where I stand on the issue and I think I have shown that my true beliefs/feelings are contrary to what you have written in the above. From this point on I will not participate in any further conversation with you on this particular topic.